Boyfriend told me that he doesn't think he's good enough for me when he thought I was asleep? ADVICE?

[Anonymous]

Been together for about 3 months. He's 18, I'm 19. I'm his first, well, everything (kiss, sex, etc.) He's never showed any sign of insecurity before. But last night I stayed over at his place and he said my name a few times and shook me lightly to see if I was awake. I wanted to see what he would do so I stayed still. Then he started to talk. He talked for like 5-10 minutes but I'll list the parts I remember.

"Sometimes I think you're too good for me. Well.. Most of the time."
"I'm supposed to be the man. To not show my feelings... But it's hard"
"I just want to look at your beautiful face all day."
"You deserve to be with the man of your dreams, and that most certainly isn't me."
"I want to be that man, but when I look in the mirror.. I'm not."
"I treat you as well as I can but I'm scared that one day you'll realise that you can get a better, more attractive guy and leave me."

He wasn't crying but at some parts he choked up a little. I get the sense he's a little insecure with his looks. I don't know what to do. He's a guy, they don't talk about these things. So should I bring it up? Would that embarrass him? Should I ignore it? He's a great guy and ever since we started dating he has been amazing. I don't want him to feel that way and I had no idea he did.

[Nik1hil]

Every boy has such feelings, but this society has made rules that to be man means to crush your feelings never let them out, you should never show you weakness. That is why most boys never talk about it. It's not that he is feeling insecure it's just he is nervous. I think the solution to this condition is the climax part of movie 'ghosts of girlfriend past' where hero confess that he left the love of his life because he was afraid, what if she hurt me what if she die what if she left me for other person. That ending part is amazing I think you should put this movie in the list if you two often watch the movie and see how terrible the hero becomes in his life. But at last he patches up the wedding of his younger brother while her fiance was leaving him and tell her not to go.
Point is you need to make him understand and should that you trust and love and believe in him. And to kill his insecurity you can tell you do not need superman or billionaire. He is everyone of a man you need and if you two are together you can pull things up no matter how down they fall.

[Nik1hil]

.. . . Superman or billionaire. He is every bit of a man you need. ...

[1685684378994]

Yes bring it up with him with and allay any fears he may have but ultimately his insecurity problems are his alone and he must deal with them on his own, there is not a lot you can do but to reassure him that his outlook is skewed and does not reflect the truth.

[Hajar_Whitestone]

Compliment and compliment and compliment as much as you can, Like saying : How did a girl like me get so lucky with a guy like you, things like this, and don't ever ever ever never bring the convo into the light, he did open his heart to you in the most safety way for him, keep that to your self..

[Nik1hil]

If she does lot of compliments he will start doubting, we guys are not hungry for compliment and we barely blush and feel proud instead we think what made the person compliment me nicely and think about their intentions. Occasional compliment are fine but not much

[Hajar_Whitestone]

@Nik1hil that what i mean :****************************************

[Nik1hil]

Are those stars kisses or abusive words out of mouth. I am confused dear

[Hajar_Whitestone]

loool kiss :p @Nik1hil

[Nik1hil]

I am kidding back at you dear :-* 😉😚😚😚😘😘😘😘😚😚😚👍

[overthinkingmind]

Aww, If a guy said that to me I would getting up in that precise moment and hug him tight while saying I would never leave him *-*

Anyway.. In your situation I would probably bring it up and tell him how much I love him. But I don't know if that's the better thing to do :/

[Elizabeth21__]

Just ignore it :) that's super sweet and a little bit sad but certainly very very uncommon and if you bring it up it might embarrass him. Just saying lol :D

[becca123]

Don't bring it up. Ever. Never ever. He poured his heart out in the safest way he could. Just give him reasons to feel secure and know this one us a keeper.

[Tormentarian]

why not bring the convo

[becca123]

Because she pretended she was asleep. He felt safe saying all that thinking she was asleep. Bad idea to say "Pass the salt and oh by the way I heard everything you said the other night.". The best thing is to make him feel secure enough in himself and her feelings to want to tell her out loud. :)

[KHaskins]

God, I feel the same way about the woman I'm seeing.

I wish I had an answer for you. I really do. We all wear masks, he just let his slip for a while. What you can take away from this is that he truly values you and cares about your happiness. It may just take a little reassurance from you to see his value to you.

[zorro8888]

You don't have to bring the conversation up.
Start leaving little clues/compliments every now and then

"How did a girl like get so lucky with a guy like you"

Things like that so hopefully it boosts up his esteem in time.

[grahamcracka]

You shouldn't confront him but just subtly deny his thoughts. tell him he's great and all that jazz without being asked if he is. it makes a bigger impact if he thinks you're saying good things about him on your own because you want to and believe it

[Tormentarian]

He is retarded and crazy unstable in the head, he will jump the ship soon, you watch. He is acting like a baby, did you force him to love you, obviously not, so trace from there his proper intentions.