My girlfriend wants a baby but we are too young, How can I tell her no and what else should I say?

[Anonymous]

So me and my girlfriend have been together for 4 years. We are 24 years old and just yesturday she brought up "it would be so nice if we can have a babu together now". This scared me lol because we are too young to have a kid in my opinion. We are both well off and techniclally can afford for a baby but for me it's just a commitment. She's going to finsh nursing this year and she loves kids. She is proabably better than other adults with kids and she keeps talking to me about them. I plan on getting a nice car when i turn 25 and i have not told her this yet to her but it will effect the "baby talk" with her.. Again both of us are well off so with all due respect to everyones financial situation who is reading this... money is not the issue for us.

I just have a feeling if i say no to having a kid and buying a nice car instead she will get mad even leave me :( I really love her but i'am 100% not ready for a kid yet. Maybe when i turn 30 yes. How can i go about telling her no in a way she won't get mad cause sometimes if she's moody she doesn't listen at all to my side haha. Can anyone help me?

[WoodWizzard87]

Just talk to her and communicate? If she leaves you because you want the freedom to be a normal 25 year old with no kids, then you were never meant to get married anyways. Most men want to be financially secure and have a house before having kids. Regardless, she's about to graduate nursing school, so she has no money and a bunch of loans. So she'll be working crazy overtime and she wants a baby now. She's definitely not thinking logically, she just has the baby fever.

[Asker]

100% i would want a house before a baby. Just to make sure everything is secure and all that stuff

[Anonymous]

A lot of relationships have kids in their twenties, if you're financially stable and love her more than anything I think it's safe to have a kid. It really guarantees a future with her. Or just tell her you're not ready but that you definitely want to have a kid with her in the future, if you want you could always get her a promise ring, girls love that stuff

[SakuraChii]

30 is when the biological clock starts ticking, in my opinon 27-28 would be reasonable your 24 so what will you be doing in those 6 years? Maybe you can make the money for the car around then and have a kid at 27-28 so that its a win-win but it's your decision.

[Asker]

I have the money set for the car. It's just i think it's too early in my opinion. I would consider 28 to be ok

[Your_boss960]

Women are most fertile from 19-25. Her biological clock is ticking. Don't make her wait till you're both 30.

Just tell her you don't want a baby right now. And then what happens is for the best

[lumos]

If you're well off, why will buying a car affect the baby talk?
Simply tell her that you don't feel like you're ready for a baby yet. There's nothing more to say about that, really.

[Asker]

Cause she might think i might take more care of my car than the baby and say i spend money for a materialistic thing

[lumos]

Well, are you going to buy a nice car just to have a nice car, or because you actually need it?

[Asker]

upgrade from my old one

[lumos]

What kind of upgrade? A necessary upgrade or purely status/"niceness" upgrade?

[Asker]

um yes. I have a nissan 370z (summer car and somewhat track car) but i want to sell it and get a 2009 corvette Z06 mostly for the track because i love racing and i learned to go on the track with the other car and i want something faster now that i know how to properly race and the corvette is my favourite American car :D haha

[lumos]

I see, so it's pretty much just a status upgrade.
Honestly, she might use it against you and call you materialistic or something, just like you said. But you have every right to not want a baby and instead spend your money on something that you actually want. However, I probably wouldn't bring up the car buying during the actual baby talk. Don't do it in that context, because then you'd essentially be saying "I'd rather have a new car than a baby" which will pretty much trigger the accusations. If you don't bring it up in the baby context, she might let you off the hook since you yourself wouldn't make that baby vs car comparison.

[Asker]

Sounds good. Should i tell her that maybe at 28 it's a good time? In my opinion, 28 would be good for me.

[lumos]

Sure, but don't make any promises. You never know if you'll actually change your mind at that point. Just say something like "not now, but I could see myself wanting it a few years from now".

[SunDevil11]

I might leave the car part out of the discussion, but you should be able to bring up your concerns with having a child, tell her you want kids just not yet, and work it all out together.

[Klaatu51]

i'm afraid most girls that age want a baby... hope i'm wrong basically...:-/

anyway don't be afraid to tell her...;-)

[Vesuvius87]

I was a weird one. I felt no desires for a child (0% urges... probably even was icy, cold about it) from ages 13 to my 28th b-day. I really thought I was in the ''I never want kids'' stance.

A couple months after my 28th b-day, for some reason I started softening up all of the sudden. That big ice in me melted, then continue melting much more over the course of these two years. I went from a never to an ''I want one''.

[xbutterflykissesx]

Try telling her you want a baby but you're both a bit to young yet

[dwiller943]

24 is not too young to have a baby. It's actually a reasonable age. But I would make her wait until you BOTH are ready.