What to do if my girlfriend is acting distant?

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend and I go to separate schools and have been together 5 months. Ever since we started seeing eachother we have spent pretty much every weekend together and some days during the week where I would go visit her and she'd come visit me. I had finals last week so I'm on summer break now, and she has finals this week and next. This weekend she is coming home but has told me she doesn't think she is going to have any time for me because she has to study (apparently study for 3 days straight?). This and the fact that she not once asked me to come up to see her during the week this week (her school is only 20mins away) makes me think she is pulling away. Why wouldn't she want to put aside her studies for an hour or two to see me? I mean if I were in her shoes I'd be making time for her or making an excuse to see her.

I haven't talked to her about this and don't think I will. Instincts tell me if she is acting distant that I should act as distant if not more. Help!!!

[Coffinspire]

Acting distant will tell her there is no more spark and result in a breakup. I know 5 months was a pretty delicate time period in all my relationships, because people think that since the honeymoon stage is over, they are no longer in love or capable of being in that relationship, since the "spark" is gone. It sounds like you need reassurance from her, because you wouldn't be feeling like this had she assured you that she still cares and she just needs to study. Just tell her you need some reassurance, that's not clingy or stand offish, it's an honest request and good communication, no one can say no to that.

[Katastrophy]

You are thinking into it too much. She already said she was studying...

Wait till AFTER finals and revisit. I understand you miss her dear, but you can't come across and smothering either. Let her focus on exams. Send her a text or two letting her know you wish her luck, love her, etc. Show support, not neediness. If you can't see her, see if she can make some time to talk on the phone, but let her focus!

[Asker]

I agree that I may be over-thinking it but I guess what is bothering me is she's not just studying. She has been going shopping and to the gym with her friends too, so it's not like the only thing she is doing is studying.

[Katastrophy]

You know, she might also just wanna hang with her girlfriends. If you guys are always together, they could have also been feeling neglected. You are both still two independent people.

[Gustafsone12584]

Why not say something? Your in a relationship, and if you feel something, you need to talk about it. If the shoe was on the other foot, wouldn't you want her to say something. Because truthfully, she's got to have some free time, go for a movie, dinner, lunch, something right?

[Asker]

She asked me what was wrong a little bit ago and I told her that I think it's weird that she doesn't WANT to make any time for me this weekend and she pushed back on me saying that I'm reading too much into it and then said she'll make time for me. So it wasn't until I told her I thought this was weird that she tells me she can now make time for me. Just bullshit in my opinion

[Gustafsone12584]

Yeah, it sounds very one sided. Let's just make some justifications, that your reading too much into it. It's like, what are you reading into? It's not that hard to figure out, that it doesn't take 3 days to study, and that you make time for her. Maybe don't make as much time for her then. Eye, for an eye, tooth, for a tooth.

[MoshingExec]

Didn't you just ask this exact same question yesterday?

[Asker]

No. And website doesn't allow repeat questions from same user

[MoshingExec]

Oh so you tried to ask the same question but they wouldn't let you so you made a different username?

At any rate, and assuming the dubious assumption that this is a new question, do a search and you'll see this same question asked before. Maybe you'll get some ideas from that.