Am I just being an overprotective friend?

[HomeyDuck]

My best friend, who is a female, is married to the biggest jerk in the world. He constantly puts her down and tells her what to do. She has told me she would much rather spend time with me. But when she tells me these stories, it makes me pretty angry. And I let her know about it. She tells me not to worry about it and that she will take care of it. It never changes and I am getting to the point to where I want to confront him about it. But I am afraid this will ruin our friendship. What am I to do?

[Anonymous]

leave her to it, she could be afraid of him and what he might do to her if she left (if its also an abusive relationship) or she might just be complaining but doesn't find the situation bad enough to actually want to leave it, prefering instead to just complain occasionally. either way you can't force someone to do something and its one of those situations where the person needs to realise themselves itd be better to leave than to stay, if you confronted him you might make things worse for her or he might forbid her to see you.

[HomeyDuck]

The forbidding to see me has already happened. She refuses to listen to it. Im not trying to force anything. If she wants to stay married to him, great. As long as she is happy, I am all for it. But its when she calls me crying because he has said something or screamed at her. Or the days where she is dead tired because she only got 3 hours of sleep, because of him.

[Opinion Owner]

in my personal opinion i think she's better off without him and you're a stand up guy for being so concerned about her but id just leave it if i was you, you could call the cops on them after building up evidence f what he does to her but she's the only one that could drop the charges and it sounds like she would and then her husband would be even more cruel towards her and might threaten you.

you could offer for her to stay with you or give her some information on shelters and identity protection so she knows if she ever did leave him she could disappear and he couldnt get her if he has threatened to

[Anonymous]

Don't get involved. You'll get a harsh reaction from both your friend and her husband if you do. She's a grown woman; she can take care of herself. Just be a good friend with a listening ear, as you have been. Don't take it any farther.

[SunDevil11]

You might be a little over protective. I know I would probably be feeling the same thing, however it really is not a good idea to confront him about this because as you fear it would mot likely ruin your friendship with her

[Klaatu51]

no dude... she must realise dat this guy's just a douche... and should break up with him ;-)

[MrDetermined]

How old is she? 5 she can take care of herself.

[emerald77]

Dude it's her life!