Why is it hard work or uncertain for the majority of men to get a relationship than it is for the majority of women?

[Tigerblood99]

I mean it dont take much for the average women to get any man she desires, lets face it all she got to do is basically exist with her legs open lol naa am joking kind of exageratting there but it is an easy ride for them. It seems to me from experience and other people experiences that women dont have to intiate anything whats so ever to get a man even if she has no personality or nothing to offer. Men on the other hand have to have a required height so she could feel safe, money, very good gentics or beach body etc in order for her to even glance... the high expectations they require when I've seen attractive men consider unattractive women or average for relationship but not the other way around unless the guys got money, fame or status of kind.

Someone tell me a man who is poor and averge looking but has good personality that can get women to be interested in him? Men dont expect much from women except they just look after themselves be clean, workout and look presentable thats it pretty easy isn't it. doesn't have to drive a porsche or live in a big house, be 6 foot tall and have modelish looks. Men have got to do everything lncluding the womens part to keep her happy, so to me I think women in general are just plain shallow and have unrealistic expectations in getting a man but not all women... there are the 20% who would consider a mans just for his personality and the 10 pounds an hour wages he earns in a relationship lol

Am not ranting just trying to make a valuable point here and why is it hard for the majority of men to get into a relationship? Lets think about this yeah... women also very rarley make an approach to men either but still get in a realtionship or one night stand and men got to put with rejection constantly. Dating sites are even more easier for them, women makes an account gets 100 messages in one day... the average man opens one on okcupid an gets 5 per month depending how many he has sent out and sometimes none lol

Updates

+1 y

The question here people is WHY is it hard for men?

[Anonymous]

Your perspective isn't quite accurate.

First, you're exaggerating what average women want from guys and also forgetting that not all women look hot and guys mostly notice the hot ones. Women are competing with other women, not men on looks, so the bar is higher. Guys overestimate how many upper level men are waiting around to hook up with average or below women. There are plenty of hot women to compete with for these top tier men.

The height thing is totally legit... for some women. But guys do get chances to attract a woman that girls don't get with them - like being smart, funny, talented, etc. Chicks don't get many points for stuff that's not to do with looks. So a girl with say, a face or body type that isn't great is stuck in a similar place as a short guy through luck of genetics, but without as many chances for other traits to make up for it.

Guys may get rejected more at first - because females generally look for a good match and men usually have a certain kind of looks he likes and approach everyone who looks that way. Females get weeded out more in the next step, where the guy decides which of the women he likes the look of he actually likes as a person, if any. So I agree there may be a slightly higher chance she'll get sprayed with the shotgun scatter approach, but a slightly higher chance he will be noticed by someone actually interested in him past the first step. A lot of girls get dumped after a few weeks or months for traits the guy could have realized he wouldn't like about her earlier, which is frustrating for us in the same way you get frustrated by a girl looking for more balanced interests at first.

Overall, all straight relationships have a male and female, so it ends up about the same. People just often don't notice those of the opposite sex not doing well, so it seems stacked in the other's favor.

[Tigerblood99]

I think your just complicating things and pulling bits and pieces out rather than just focus on the question and looking at the big picture if we are going to be precise here. Don't think unattractive women have high standards because they do and I know a lot, even some with attractive boyfriends. I will respect your opinion but with all honesty you as women will never understand, you will get so much attention that you can't decide which guy to choose and you eventually pick the highest bidder out of all the men. Until your looks fade with age then the guy who is hot with money who you chose an swaps you for a younger model or younger women... money ain't everything but it buys everything! lol

[Opinion Owner]

Just as you say women will never understand fully men, men will never fully understand women. Like I said, how you feel is an exaggeration and also misunderstands the downfalls of only being wanted for looks or desperate lay- despite awknowledging them yourself in your post.

We all fear being dispensable and easily replacable and unwanted - male and female. It's not all that different.

I validate your struggle - I'm not saying its not real, just that its hard for many girls, too. Why do you prefer to see them as enemies instead of someone with a common theme?

[Tigerblood99]

There were no fear to start with the majority men are passed that stage of feeling unwanted during their teenage years when they realised and now have overcame it and realise they don't have the requirements and some like my friends friend who just turn to lose their virginity at 20 to a escort and he said to me what his friend said that 'just hearing a women say no to me so many times means I just don't fit the build' meaning he would of known if he did fit a women s requirements because he wouldn't of have to visit a prostitute. its not exaggeration a lot of men just pay for it now because of women's ridiculous expectation its just exhausting for them but it keeps them happy I suppose to just pay for it.

I dont see them as enemies I just can't relate to them because of how they judge a mans self worth by his appearance, wealth and status. The average man with a minimum wage don't stand a chance unless he bends over backwards for her like a peasant... what's the point?

[Opinion Owner]

Enemies was probably too strong a word, but you get what I mean. There's more to relate to than you realize. I have an awkward female cousin who is 23 and never been kissed, never gets looked at, etc - if we're going to talk anecdotally. I have known many girls who didn't get attention because they were weird, overly shy, too fat, too skinny, not pretty in the face, etc. A guy can at least pay to get what he wants, according to you, but most females wouldn't feel positive about a prostitute experience, so they're stuck with nothing at all. I'm just showing you the other side of things, of course. Most people are average and most people end up in some relationships.

My real point is that I've also known even very good looking people who got lots of attention who were totally alienated. It's been getting worse, in this digital age, too. Feeling negatively about the entire sex that you're attracted to only adds to the alienation.

[Opinion Owner]

What you're literally writing is "young guys want fucked more and women's standards are too high and we're all kinda pissed and it serves you bitches right if guys you do want leave you" but what I'm hearing you say is that you feel disconnected and frustrated. You sound intelligent, and frankly, I'm a much older loner who hasn't had a date in ages personally, but something you wrote caught my eye and I just wanted to tell you that there is more connecting people that you realize, but you've got to be open to seeing it. I'm going through similar thoughts, in fact, but fighting it and wish I'd figured more out sooner. Being spiteful is validating in a way, but empty.

[Tigerblood99]

I think your mistaken to what escorts provide for a man an its not just the sex so dont misinterpret because I said prostitute which I fully understand but maybe some men just want the sex although a lot just want companionship and experience.. yes the sex comes along with it might as well since he's paying for it anyways but not always the end goal lol This might make them happy but without having to pay for it would make them happier instead and would prefer a proper relationship.

An no am not intelligent just wise but thanks for trying to inference my comments. No again am not frustrated just bitter... bitter I was born with the wrong cards dealt to me, so now I use what I play with and try and win using that deck that's handed to me.. and I dont see any aces unfortunately. Who do I blame though? women for having shallow unrealistic expectations or god for not giving me those things women want? lol

[Opinion Owner]

That's the great mystery - why are we always longing. Like I said, many people feel this lack - men, women, young and old... even people who have the things you personally are looking for. I've known dateless people and also people who everyone wants to be with who felt very alone, unworthy and lacking. My own father has slept with dozens-maybe over 100 women and still suffers with alienation. It's strange.

You think patching this one sore spot will fix it, but for them, it doesn't.. So it's probably true for all of us.

I don't have all the answers, but keep your mind open and look at life more closely and you'll see a lot to feel connected to. Best wishes! I hope you find what it is that ends the feeling.

[acrus]

HOLD UP! I can't get the guy I like, even though I am attractive, so this is incorrect! Men have an easier shot, as long as they're not too desperate or act weird

[Tigerblood99]

gimme a break women I been expecting you to pop up on my screen sooner or later lol you just dont understand do you... all you got to do is say hi, whats hard about that?

[GoodDogNigel]

It's hard work for men to get a woman because of the way we are wired biologically. I as a man could impregnate three or so women a day without much difficulty. I then technically am not required in the slightest for the child to be born or raised. I can impregnate three women a day 365 days a year for 20 or so years, (we are talking primeval lifespans). Women however can only be impregnated by one man at a time, and then have to carry a fetus for 9 months while becoming more and more vulnerable as time passes. They then have to raise this child for around 10 years before it can even HOPE to survive on its own. Obviously women have more to lose when bearing a child, and as such go for quality over quantity of a partner. This still is true today and is just a biological leftover.

[Tigerblood99]

hang on a sec... doesn't the man have to pay for that child or is that in the UK only?

[GoodDogNigel]

Yes, but I'm talking about how millions of years of evolution still affect us today.

[Tigerblood99]

its partly the cause but its bullshit... women get too much attention and they know it so they just fuck the highest bidder out of us all. Just go to a bar on weekend or join a dating site and you will know what I mean, its all about ego and shallowness because if you look at a women who gets no attention you will see the difference

[questions4life]

It's like this because society has made it like this for a very long long time now. The male population is actually a lot higher than the female population, so there's more guys than girls. it sucks, but there will be that one girl who doesn't care for that 6 feet tall height, or money. and cares about the personality of the person. so be positive and keep your head up!

[Klaatu51]

dude i know u... i've told u many times 2 accept yer height... gosh 5'6" isn't tragic... trust me :)

[Tigerblood99]

So why won't you tell me your height if it ain't tragic... why are you shorter than me?

[jjohnjuniorjinglle]

You are so right.

[Anonymous]

i agree with you.

[Tigerblood99]

... is that it? you sure you dont want to call me a misogynistic piece of shit like most women call guys when they bring this up lol