Why doesn't my boyfriend understand me?

[Anonymous]

I honestly don't know what to do here. I love my boyfriend and I know he loves me. He can never sympathize for me. When we fight he never sees my side and all he does is tell me that that's how he is and I need to get over it. Seriously what do I have to do to get him see my side and understand where I come from? everything I say to him goes in one ear and out the other. he's always right, its always my fault and I always start everything.. I'm so tired of having to be blamed for stuff he does that hurts me. it makes me so sick. please tell me why he does this? :(

[fairyfly]

also another thing you can try...

when ur NOT fighting sit down and calmly talk about stuff... say I'm a girl and ur a guy and different people hav different needs and perspectives and expectations... then explain urs. and ask him 2 respect ur differences... tell him you truly want 2 understand HIS and giv him a chance 2 share. encourage him 2 talk by asking him questions about how he feels or thinks or wants. do NOT start fighting or criticising him. acknowledge you understand wut he is saying... ask him if he wants 2 hav less drama and you less bitchy. he will say yes if he cares about ur relationship. tell him you just want his understanding, 4 him 2 listen and care about ur feelings. tell him he doesn't hav 2 AGREE, just LISTEN. tel him ur not trying 2 blame him or bitch but you want him 2 UNDERSTAND u. and you want 2 UNDERSTAND him because you know he loves you in his heart but you don't c it in how he ACTS. ask him how HE THINKS he shows you his love and support. because you might b missing it :)

[fairyfly]

Well depending on how bad you wana b with him...

tell him yes that IS the way he is and either he needs 2 work on it or he is gona lose u.

or accept that yes that IS the way he is and ur gona stay with him anyway and maybe he will change and maybe he wont.

now MAYBE ya'll can work on this... IF HE wants 2... tell him you feel unloved or hurt when he does blank. and when you feel hurt or unloved it makes you get angry and bitchy and resentful. that you expect a boyfriend 2 do blank 2 show he cares about you and if he doesn't do blank then its hard 4 you 2 believe he cares and its painful 2 b with someone who ACTS like they don't care even if EMOTIONALLY they do care because it confuses you because actions speak louder than words and he so he is sending mixed messages.

[Anonymous]

if you want him to sympathize and see your side, try dumping him and going for a girl. Otherwise get over it!

[Guy182]

he knows its his fault and doesn't want to be blamed for it or he is just uptight and stupid you pick. What you can try is when he's blaming you is tell him to 'stop' don't get harsh with ur voice(stay very calm and don't look him in the eye look down as if sobbing )and say something like this "you did ...(give what ever you think is his fault in this caption)...and yes it is my fault" the point to note here is that you told him its his fault and you got the blame he should know this much.

If he is smart he'll get it,.

P.S you know ur boyfriend the best if you think this is not ok and can end ur relationship,or harm it, then dump my answer.