Men by nature do not trust a promiscuis woman, if she was willing to give it away that easily what will stop her later? Why would he treat her special if she never required that from others? Many studies have shown that the more partners a woman has the more likely she will divorce (1% with one partner, 16% with two and so on.) Those who score in the upper half of the sociosexually unrestricted scale (ie casual attitude towards sex and by extention are promiscuis) have a 50% divorce rate and a 50% chance of cheating. Its also been linked to depression and self esteem issues. In short its a lot of negatives that will all adversley affect him (women initiate divorce 80% of the time and most divorce laws favor women) so that is a huge risk. Now you say you use to be promiscuis but how does he know that? A lot of women claim they "changed" their priorities and "realized" what they really wanted in life, but this is after sleeping around (usually while he worked to establish himself in career or what have you) and then suddenly have a change of opinion as they begin to get older and by extention less desirable. So was it a change by choice or circumstance? That would be something he would always be left wondering about, did you want him or was he your second option because the first (sleeping around) wasn't a viable option any more. He chose not to risk getting used and broke it off. This is his right and choice, in a relationship men have the most to lose so he must be incredibly picky when it comes to who he begins a long term relationship with. Just as you had the right to choose to be promiscuis (though I don't think 8 is that bad but then women also almost always under report as studies have shown). Unfortunatley you where never told this before hand but rather where told that you could live it up without consequence and that could not be farther from the truth. My recommendation would be to think about your life choices why you made them why you stopped the behavior then if you can say honestly that you are not a risk to him, talk to him explain the situation tell him how you have changed and its not simply because of convience (I had an ex who long story short had been promiscuis but it was due to a really screwed up child hood incident (religous family, accused of premarital sex and was ostricised etc.) but it was understandable from the circumstances and she wanted to change). He may not take you back but at least you will have learned about yourself.
What was your motive behind that many? What rationalization did you feed to yourself each time you went out and got yourself a fling? Considering everything that could have gone wrong - and how it would have affected your whole family, not just you; how many of your excuses do you feel still hold any water in light of reality?
If you're still convinced you are justified and righteous, then that attitude may have been what has scared him off. Because if it's all about pleasure and material gain, then commitment is meaningless. So who's to say you won't cheat? With a woman, even? And what sort of baggage - emotional or biological - does he stand to gain from it? What excuses from his past is he trying to do better than, that he feels you'd force him to still defend?
If those are his issues, then the two of you do have deep divides to overcome. If the number alone is all he cares about, then he is petty, and doesn't deserve you.
There is this double standard in society that men are allowed to be promiscuous, but women are not. It is ridiculous, but real nonetheless. Some guys feel that a girl that sleeps with too many guys are not loyal, they are cheap, easy, and are more likely to sleep around even when she is in a relationship.
A mature man definitely don't think this way. You deserve better.
If a guy dumped you, cut him off completely. This is the only way you can regain your value in his eyes.
There are plenty of guys out there. My best advice is to find one that accepts you for what you are.
Ok I've only been with 2 people and I'm happy about that but for a (25-29 yr) that's not that horrible of a number. Most of my friends are early 20's and aren't married like I am. They're partying it up. I wouldn't call them sluts and they've had sex with more than 8people. The fact he's only been with one person is the only reasonable excuse for his opinion. Especially if you're ready to settle down and be serious most guys shouldn't care. Most guys I know wouldn't care as long as they don't have to hear about it.
I think he has the right to not want to date because of your past. For some people it's something important... However it should have been said a long time before so you wouldn't catch feelings and the both of you end up disappointed!
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Being promiscuous says something about the person you are. He probably thinks you like sleeping around/can't hold a serious relationship or something along the lines of that. He probably wants to settle and make the next girl his wife and so isn't willing to take that chance with you.
People have the right to not date anyone they don't want. It sucks when someone doesn't have the same feelings you do, but unfortunately that's life. The good news is there's billions of people on the planet and you'll find someone new a week or to if you just go out and meet people. Cheer up!
A lot of these questions today...
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1938806-why-are-some-women-so-disgusted-by-a-man-s-past
To anyone whose head is attached correctly, it doesn't matter.
Anybody can choose who to date and who not to date, if he doesn't want someone who has had more sexual partners than him then I guess that's his right. Truth is, guys can feel quite intimidated by a girl who has had more experience than him. It could be that, but I don't know. I can tell you most guys would probably not mind 8 partners at your age.
Hope this helps :)
Well he's not a hypocrite with his preferences and he had the courtesy to end things before sleeping with you.
Fair or not, it's his right to make that decision. That said, I personally think it's a little strange to shoot someone down for an eight, but that's just me.
Anyway, what I find even stranger is that he waited so long to ask you a question like this -- especially given how important it is to him.
It means that he is nervous about whether or not he would be able to give you the attention you would need. If you were promiscuous then obviously you weren't satisfied with someone you were with. Plus it puts you in greater chance to acquire an STD or STI. Plus the guy is worried you will leave him, because you won't be satisfied.
he has a hard time believing there could be something special with you because you have the same thing with so many others. ladys should think the same thing about guys. if they have been with a lot of people whats the chances they will not stick around.
It is unfair however he seems a good guy to me. Ending the relationship with you before making it 9. Many men wouldn't do that. As for you being or not being promiscuous your number isn't all that shocking for 25-29. It might even be on the lower end. He is of course entitled to have whatever weird preferences he wants for a relationship. I for example never date people who like popcorn.
You'd be surprised how rarely that limits my partners.
You most likely don't see sex the same way. You don't take it as seriously as him, and that bothers him.
People need a partner who they're compatible with.
well its fine. honestly after 3 partners a women is a horrible investment for marriage statistically. he knows this internally and good for him for going after what he wants. you wanted sex and got it and thats also fine.
Yes it actually matter to 97 % of Guys... Basically you not a gf/wife material to him...
8 is just too much... I wouldn't even think about dating you..
Think about it.. You slept around.. Means your attitude was slutty and promiscuous... It's did not what we guys want in a girlfriend...
We want her to be slutty only for us...
Fair? My sister once dumped a guy because she didn't like his shoe selection. At the end of the day you along with everyone else have full freedom on who they decide they want to fuck and date.
It's just his preference. There is probably some evolutionary/biological reason why men prefer women who have to no other sexual partners when it comes to building relationships. shouldn't be surprising.
Well, I see your age listed as 25-29. Let's say you are 27 for example. That's an average of one a year since you were 19. At your age I really don't see that as promiscuous. I think he's being a bit sensitive but hey we're all individuals.
8 men at age 25, is a different man every year since age 18.
That'a not alot! Dude is an insecure fuck that I hope eventually grows up.
Ha, ha.. The number one lie women tell to men is how many people they have had sex with. Didn't you know that?
Is not fair at all, but why talk about the past relationships when all it brings is problems. It's not even worth trying to fix things because he will always judge you for it. :(
LOL...
8 in my books is almost too few, and certainly enough to be considered inexperienced.
Because you guys may see sex differently.
you may enjoy casual sex while he may only have sex with serious gfs.
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