My boyfriend slept with me and then dumped me?

I met this guy and instantly he was so interested in me, we got along really well and very soon he asked me to be with him because he felt so strongly for him. I was taken aback but I agreed. He quickly told all of his family about me, introduced me to his friends proudly holding my hand, told everybody about how amazing I was, his family added me on social media and asked about me a lot. I told my family and friends about him. We got close quick, took me on nice dates, I supported him a lot, he wanted to go on holiday with me.

He lives an hour away from me because he's saving up to move back here. He booked an expensive hotel for us and took me out for food, he got angry at any guy checking me out and even argued with one of them, he seemed insecure, and we slept together after just over a month together. It was perfect, he had told me multiple times over weeks I'm one of the only things keeping him happy in his depression right now, he said it was the best sex ever and looked dazed and happy, hours later slipped and told me he loved me and we fell asleep together.

i didn't hear from him for two days so I contacted him confused, suddenly he's not ready for a relationship and he can't afford to keep spending money on dates (never asked him to) and it's not to do with sleeping with home he genuinely saw us as long term he's just 'not ready'. I don't understand and I'm completely broken, he told me I deserve better. Why would he do this?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sounds like he is a manipulative dickhead. Look back at everything and see if there were any red flags you might not have seen, because you were sweeped off of your feet for a while

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It could be he is at a time in his life where he doesn't know what he wants a person who says you deserve better wldnt day that because if he really cared about you he would be willing to compromise for the sake of making each other happy. It seems like you'll rushed into the relationship if its been only about a mth and he showed you to his fam visa versa it was going to fast. Me personally my boyfriend had to wait a yr before I ever chose to have sex with him only because I wanted to make sure he was in it for me not asa we have sex he leaves. When he proved it and we were still doing great i gave that to him. People dnt understand and will be like why a yr thats crazy but I value myself enough to not jst give it to anyone who sweet talks me... respect yourself

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 20

  • Well clearly he's depressed and it happens at times with people with low self-worth to think they're doing the right thing by letting someone go because they don't see themselves as worth it. Just take it as learning lesson to fall for someone with a high self-esteem and high self-worth next time.

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  • The way I see it, his depression is acting up out of the blue. The best thing you can do at this point is to let him know you're there for him, but also give him an ample amount of space.

    This is most likely not over yet. He's going through a tough time in his life, and he'll come around once he realises what you really mean to him. Until then, I would advise to do as I stated in the first para.

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    • I really hope so! We got along so well, he's depressed from family issues, he's had to move away from his hometown and is saving to move back, he works long hours and is depressed. I really tried to help

    • I wish you the best. I'm confident things will turn around for both of you, and this phase will only strengthen your resolve!

  • He sounds like a jerk. I'm pretty sure he felt this way before sleeping with you, but he didn't want to leave "empty handed".

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  • Just go and talk to him, face him in real life and ask him. You mentioned his depression he might be some crazy right now.

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  • He may have his reasons.. But taking always helps. If he avoids you.. Then you better confront him! No girl this treatment

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    • I tried, he just acted annoyed and told me he wasn't ready and started ignoring me :/

    • Relationships are tricky cuz it takes two concessions. I'm sorry you're in this position, and me never been in such really can't advice. Sorry. Hope you find happiness with him or without him. Better not let this slow you down. If push comes to shove forget his ass and move one

  • Strong feelings at start is "lust", red flag

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  • He played you. All he wanted was to sleep with you. Once he got what he wanted he moved on. I am sorry you went through this. But there are a lot of dicks out there like him.

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  • I'd just give him some space. Maybe he's panicked or something. I wouldn't pursue him though.

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  • there r two reasons behind it

    a) either his parents told him suddenly to break up with you otherwise they will not support him anymore.

    b) he got interaction with another lady and with whom he wanna be sex and she told him to get back from you. I think he stucked in triangle relationship (you, him, new lady) and he wanna be in relationship with new

    other than I dont see any other reason why he left you so suddenly

    whats your idea?

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  • He just wanted sex and nothing else there is no problem for wanting to have sex but the problem is that he just wanted that for one time with you and then he moves away and this is really a cheap thing. Be careful later on putting a hope in someone

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  • he is an ass

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  • u wanna right person or what? so dont share ur bed with someone until marry. if someone can patient until marry for u, he is right person! if u are cheap person, nevermind these.

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  • I think the depression is a factor here. It is telling him that u r to good for him. I agree u should let him know that u r there for him if he needs someone to talk to though

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  • a very action that comes from a person is actuwaly a reaction of what he thinks of you and what might interest you. from your side we saw... his side. kaka

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  • This is why you wait until marriage.

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    • Lol. No. This is why you should be cautious and thoughtful about relationships.

  • Yeah once I was lying on a couch with my ex who I had been with for 3 years. She was about to leave and was like "so don't you wanna fuck me?". In the end she made me cum inside her and for some reason cried. Turned out she cheated on me and I had to dump her a couple of days after.

    I don't know if my story is any better than yours.

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  • I have suffered from depression for the longest time I could remember.
    I was always in search of females to speak to. The reason for female instead of either/or stemmed from a lot of issues I was going through and HAD gone through. Plus, I just get along with females better than males. Most of the time anyways.
    But when I had latched onto a female it wasn't out of sexual gain. Yes, sometimes that would come with it, but that wasn't my goal. My goal was to meet a female to help get my mind off of... everything. It's helped a lot at times. But when it comes down to it, I was actually all for them. Gave them my undying love. What was lust, turned into love.
    So in my experience... he MAY have not been entirely real with you. He could just be a depressed f*** boy.

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  • He pretended to be interested in you because he only wanted sex. Now that he has it he doesn't have to pretend anymore.

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  • 1. One moths is too soon.
    2. Date someone at least 27 or older for a better chance at a relationship next time.

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  • You're obviously not good enough for him.

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What Girls Said 6

  • I don't like being the bearer of bad news but he got exactly what he was truly after and now he's moved on. Sorry about that!

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  • Honestly it sounds like he is confused on what he wants. What caused his depression? I know that you don't want to hear to give it time, but if he introduced all his family to you, he must have been pretty serious. I would try to talk to him.

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    • He had to move an hour away from his hometown because he needs to save for a house here (where I live) but his family hate him and he has to live there, he works 10 hour days to save for it and feels like he just lives to work, go home, sleep and repeat. He misses his friends living so far away and feels isolated. I've tried so much to talk to him, maybe not in the best way, but I tried to ask why and for answers but he just wouldn't give me any

  • some people change after sex, it hurts but it's true, it happened with the last guy I hooked up with, we even cuddled and talked all night after but after I went home nothing. he just lost interest. it's horrible.

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  • How long were you together before this happened?

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  • It doesn't matter. This guy is just like any other guy. Liar and too much talking.

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  • Happens to all of us.

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