My boyfriend ditched me for the gym when we had plans? Am I overreacting?

[Anonymous]

A few days ago my boyfriend and I realised that we both for once were off work on the same day (today) so we decided we would see eachother.

Yesterday we made dinner and he stayed the night. A few days ago he screwed up and hurt me so we talked and solved it, had dinner and watched a movie. Right before we went to bed he told me he was going to the gym the next day. At first I was a bit annoyed since I had cleared my schedule to be with him but I then realised that we could hang out afterwards. Little did I know he had made plans with his friend (same friend he's going to the gym with) to go see a movie instead.

So after I had made a really nice breakfast in bed he decides to tell me. He noticed that I was disappointed but he didn't realise why, and I knew that if I told him why he would feel bad the entire day.
Am I right to be disappointed? What should I do?

[Darkfairie17]

I think you have a right to be a little hurt. But did you talk to him beforehand of your plans for that day? Perhaps he made these plans before he made plans with you?

Also, he did spend the night with you and have dinner and breakfast with you. Maybe he feels that was enough time?

If he knew about your plans and then made other plans, that is being insensitive on his part. Especially if you two don't get to spend much time together. I'd be bummed too.

[Asker]

We talked Saturday about today and agreed on seeing eachother, I was so excited since we rarely get to spend a whole day together.

I know the gym thing wasn't decided but it's possible they had decided to go to the movies. If it had just been the movies I'd be fine because then we would've been able to hang out till tonight, but now I just got to see him for an hour before he left. If he thought that was enough time when we had made plans for a whole day I feel like the decent thing would have been to let me know.

I'm not sure if he remembered our plans to be honest..

[Darkfairie17]

Regardless whether he remembered or not, if he made plans with you he should have honoured them. It takes little effort for him to put a note in his phone calendar about your plans. I do this all the time because I am a busy person. It helps me stay organized.

Have you talked to him about how this made you feel?

I know how you feel, you made it a priority because you never get to spend a whole day with him. When I am dating someone, spending a day with them is something I really look forward too. Unfortunately not all people feel that way.

Definitely let him know how you feel.

[Darkfairie17]

Thanks!!

[Asker]

No, thank you!!

[abc3643]

Did you (the both of you) have plans or not? If you did and he knew about them, then he may have forgotten and you should have instantly reminded him. But, if you yourself had unspoken plans, then he's not to blame. Still, I feel bad for you. Your boyfriend isn't this guy, is he?

https://youtu.be/q7gzmoqmL7g

[Asker]

We had plans together for today and agreed to seeing eachother. I found out about the movie thing (he had bought tickets already) 15 minutes before he had to catch the bus to the gym and I didn't want to stress him out.

Haha no he's not like that, thanks for the laugh though! 😂

[Pat8707]

It's totally understandable for you to be upset. He should know not to blow people off, let alone his girlfriend. When you feel this way, you need to be vocal about it. If he doesn't understand then you can't hold it against him though.

[Asker]

Since he didn't get why I got so disappointed I'm not sure if he even remembers that we made plans.
I found out about it 15 minutes before he had to go to catch the bus so I didn't want to stress him out. He's at the gym now and if I call him he'll probably feel so bad and ditch his friend instead and I don't want him to do that. Do you think it would be a bad idea to call him tomorrow instead and talk about it?

[Pat8707]

No, it wouldn't. As long as you talk about it at some point, it's fine. It doesn't have to be right now if you don't want to. Also you sound like a really nice girlfriend so I'm sure he feels lucky to have you.

[Asker]

Oh thank you, that's really sweet of you :)