I'm gonna finish college with no relationship experience. Should I be worried?

[play-wright-boy]

I had no intention to getting into a relationship during freshman year. I had gone to an all-boys school, and was just happy to have female friends. I only went as far as making out with girls at parties.

Then sophomore year came, and I was ready to try for a relationship. I asked out a girl for the first time in my life (my girlfriend in high school had pretty much asked ME out) and I got rejected. I took it pretty hard, but got over it.

Then junior year came along, and I was still single. I asked a couple of more girls out but I got rejected again. It hurt less this time though. Then I became involved in a FWB relationship for a couple of months.

I'm a senior, and I'm just confused. I just can't seem to get girls. I don't get it. I'm not ugly and many girls have told me that I'm cute. I'm artistically talented, love to play sports, and I like to have fun. I'm a bit of an introvert, but am always sociable when I have to be.

Sometimes, I think it's because of my race and the fact that I don't go exclusively after Asian girls. But a lot of other Asian guys seem to have success. In fact, one girl (who was white) with whom I went nowhere is now dating a Chinese guy. So I know it has more to do with me than with my race.

Maybe because I'm short and slim? I'm 5'8" and 145 pounds. But I know plenty of small guys who do well for themselves.

All I know is that after four years of college, I will have had no relationship experience. I'm thankful for all I've learned (for example, I'm no longer scared to ask girls out), but I'm just perplexed at why I've had so little success with girls. I'm worried that if I couldn't get a girlfriend in college, I'll have even less of a chance in the real world.

Should I be worried?

[Brando]

I'm going to be honest and not give you a "feel good session"...yes it will be harder. Of all the thinking that I've done about things, most relationships between people our age come from having something very closely in common- having to go to class. If we have to be in the same room with a girl, then sure there is a better chance that we'll get to know rather than if she was a complete stranger. After college though, that field of "closely available" woman gets much smaller. Now either you must hope for that closeness to happen somewhere, or approach a stranger you don't know and hope to make an impression, which not many guys know how to do. We just haven't been required to learn it and quite frankly, it sounds impossible to do.

So yeah, college IS about furthering your education but you'd be an idiot not to multi-task and take advantage of the situation. I have the same trouble you do so I relate completely with you. I think you (and me lol) should work on trying to anticipate that happening after you graduate and learn the skill now.

[Anonymous]

at least you have gotten to make out with girls before, and you said you had a girlfriend in high school right? well better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

[Anonymous]

Personally that sounds like a dream come true. As a fellow inexperienced relationship(er?) that would be a load off of ones shoulders. But I think it's really all about the kind of girls you connect with. When you find the right one and your both attracted to each other it'll come easily and naturally. Really each relationship is a new thing, it won't be the same as an old relationship but some people will compare. Just try to make new experiences together, learn all you can about your partner and then being together will be like second nature and you won't have to stress as long as you make time. (though your probably not dealing with this anymore lol)

[Anonymous]

It's definitely going to be harder to find love in the real world simply because everyone is already in a relationship and/or married, etc.

I just started grad school and I can tell you for sure that there are no single people, guys and girls. I'm the only single 22 year old in my classes, everyone else is already married, often with children and in their late 20's/early 30's.

Even at my internship, everyone was taken.

So, if you can, it's a good idea to find a relationship while in college because your dating pool is just so much larger. I regret that I didn't.

[greeneyedgal]

No, I don't think you should be worried because love can happen anytime, anywhere. For some, college is about furthering your education to secure an occupation and your future. In addition, your ethnicity and looks have nothing to do with meeting/dating a female. I think it's about putting yourself out there, taking risks and seeing who you mesh and have fun with. I am sure you will find someone, it's all about timing, timing, timing.

Keep your head up! Good luck.

[akki_0205]

i m facing the similar problem... you are not alone bro...

jst hang in there...:-)

[Anonymous]

at least you have gotten experience now