Why are men so stubborn about apologizing when they hurt a woman?

[trinahar]

My boyfriend (now ex) hurt my feelings by keeping company with a girl "friend" of his behind my back; and when I found out about it, I broke up with him because I know there's more to the story than what he told me. He was trying to two-time me, and he got busted! Now, when he sees me, he's super p*ssed-off at me and tries to make me jealous with other women. What gives? His best friend said he wants me back, but doesn't know how to go about winning me back. I'm sorry would be a good place to start with me. He appears to prefer being miserable without me, rather than to apologize and admit his wrong. Fellas, is it that hard to apologize to us girls? What's with the "macho" behavior of not wanting to admit when you're wrong? I don't get it at all.

[Anonymous]

I personally, do not care for apologies... I like a change of relating behavior or action, that les me now, that he RESPECTS himself, me , our relationship, & just the fact that we are human beings... I think CHANGE should precede the apology, or at least , follow the apology , straight away... GUs do that too much - Oh. baby o am sorry.. Goo I am absolved, I can go f*** up for the next apology- t becomes yet another game..

Anyways, when I hear 'i am sorry' I hear " I think I hurt you, maybe wanted to , but this is my way of saying I know I hurt your feelings, & poor you look how I have made you sad, & you will forgive me, cause yo love me, & I really will not remember this tomorrow, so remind me what it was I did wrong, the NEXT time I do it. LOve you, but have no respect for you - yours truly.

Some guys just LIKE DRAMA*

[trinahar]

You have a good point and you're so right. I know that his action is speaking louder than any apology could. I think I wanted to hear an "I'm sorry" and see a change in action. Either way, you're right.

[Opinion Owner]

No no, ... The aspect of getting him to recognize what he ddi & be man to speak it, is SO hard for a lot of people, & so satisfying to hear.

I tend ot dwell more on personal siruations where think he is actually happy in a way, cause now he gets apologize & he can feel me have some sort of deep emotion towards him even if it is sad or angry lol...

That shouold not ruin your ^ apology. Just make sure he FOLLOWS with an ACT :-)

Ask EXACTLY what for - it is better then just- I'm SORRY*

[trinahar]

You're right. I agree totally.

[Opinion Owner]

:-)

[Anonymous]

If a guy knows he did wrong like cheating but won't apologize that is not a good sign. Don't take him back or accept anything until he apologizes! Ignore him and maybe get another guy so he can see "i better step my sh*t up before I lose a good woman" he probably will end up apologizing soon but for now act like you couldn't care less about him. if he will 2 time you with a friend of his are you sure you really want a guy like that anyway? most likely he will do it again. I think you should just move on

[trinahar]

The girl he two-timed me with is somebody I don't know. She was his supposed "friend." But, I can't agree with you more. I'm not saying anything to him. I don't want the cheater boyfriend.

[dollme777]

when you have a big ego and pride that can stop you form doing the most simplest things like just saying sorry and really meaning it, I would say if his friend talks about him wanting you back again give him subtle hints that will help and he will probably go back and tell him but I have a boyfriend that acts like his pride is on the line if he just admits that he is wrong, and that he is sorry and sometimes that's all you need to make it not hurt so bad.

[trinahar]

I totally agree...lol. My ex is clearly miserable and wants to get back with me, but he refuses to say I'm sorry. I want him back too, but I feel that if I make it "easy" for him to come back (without an apology), he will repeat this type of disrespectful behavior.

[dollme777]

I understand you want to whip him in shape, well in that case I'm not sure if you guys talk but be sweet to him and make him think he gettin back easy and then see him a couple times and don't kiss him or anything but be confident and happy....and just break him down with just being you and dangle what he can't have and when he is finally at that point he should admit that he was wrong an that he was sorry and then at that point you can voice how you feel and hows its not going down like that again

[trinahar]

I absolutely love your answer. I can tell you're a wise woman and I'm going to do just what you said...lol. Thanks, I feel better already.

[dollme777]

Your welcome good luck to you

[palek]

If he's two-timing you now, why would you want him back? Find yourself a guy who'll love and respect you.

[trinahar]

I haven't decided if I want him back or not. Nevertheless, you're right...I don't want a cheater.

[blah52]

He probably doesn't think he's done anything wrong, hence no apology.

[trinahar]

He knows he's done something wrong. I took the time to explain to him what he did wrong, and how I felt about it, so he knows exactly what's up. Besides, his behavior (when I busted him) let me know that he knew he was wrong. When I asked him who the girl was, he never gave me a straight answer and started "fumbling" for an answer. To make matters worse, this all took place at church. We never said two words during the whole service. After church, he tried to hug and kiss on me. He knows.

[Reeses-pieces777]

guys are stubborn and they're afraid of your reaction.

that's what stops them from apologizing.

they know they're wrong.

whether or not they'll learn from it, is a different story.

at least they know they did something wrong & they are sorry inside, even if it's a little sorry, they're still sorry.

[dollme777]

I mean it may sound like a lot but if he wants you back that bad to the point where he is storming around all grumpy he should fall into it nicely

[trinahar]

I agree. His roomate said that he (my ex ) is driving him crazy, and is the grumpiest, mopiest man on the planet right now. Of course that's exactly what I wanted to hear...lol.

[svon25]

Their pride and their ego are too big to allow them to admit when they have done something wrong like that.

[Anonymous]

pride before the fall..