My crush smokes weed?

[Anonymous]

So I've liked this guy forever, and I knew before that he drinks and smokes cigarettes but I never knew that he also smokes weed. I just found out about it on our class trip when him and his friends came back to the place we stayed at, and one of them was so high that the others had to carry him. You know, I just like him so much, and I really wanna help him, but I don't know what to do. I'm the kind of person that is usually against all kinds of drugs but I won't stop liking him just because of that. Especially because I knew him before he even started drinking, and I know that he's actually a good guy. What should I do?

Updates

+1 y

He's 17 and I'm 16 y/o

[existing_not_living]

I would just leave him be. I mean, I know you want to help and your intentions are good, but you sound ignorant right now. I drink and smoke weed, but I'm still a good person and I haven't changed. My boyfriend does the same stuff. I can understand being against cigarettes, but I don't see what the big deal is with alcohol and weed.

"You know, I just like him so much, and I really wanna help him, but I don't know what to do." - There's really nothing you can do. You say you like him, but he's not the same person you knew before (in your eyes). He's changed and he does things that don't match with what you believe in. You can't change him and if you feel like you have to and want to, then he's not the right guy for you.

"I'm the kind of person that is usually against all kinds of drugs but I won't stop liking him just because of that." - If you're against all these things, why would you want to be with him? All you want to do is change him and his ways. You want him to fit your mold and not be someone he isn't anymore.

"Especially because I knew him before he even started drinking,..." - Yes, you knew him before that, but you make it sound as if he's a bad guy now. There are plenty of people who knew me before I started drinking and smoking weed, but they accept me for who I am. My personality hasn't changed. I also have friends who are into the same stuff as me, but I have friends who aren't as well. They don't try to change me and tell me what to do.

I don't do all those things just because I'm trying to run away from my problems or because I'm falling apart on the inside. I do it because I find pleasure in it and it's fun for me. I don't need to be helped. Your crush may not need to be helped either. Just because someone does something that doesn't match with your beliefs doesn't mean that you need to "fix" them.

[Anonymous]

How young is he? Truthfully, your morals don't match up. Qs you have to ask yourself: Would you be uneasy hanging out with him, in fear of getting caught? What do you have in common? Do you mind the smell of weed? Would you be STRONG enough to say no to weed if he offered it to you? Weed makes people lazy. What do you think of that? Is being friends better? Why do you like him? Now... how do you feel?

[worldscolide]

To be honest, Weed is no worse than alcohol or smoking. If it was me, i would not be ok with any of it, smoking drinking or the weed, but that is because i dont do any of those things. If you're ok with the smoking and the alcohol, then it shouldn't matter of he smokes weed. If you're not ok with any of it, then tell him, if he doesn't quit then leave.

One thing i know for sure, you can't make anyone change. They have to want to change. I have personal experience on this, It took meeting my wife to actually make me want to become a better person, i wanted to be the man she deserved.

Hope this helps

[Aqesiro]

You say you want to help him, but does he want to helped? What if he just loves weed? Does it look like his suffering? Maybe he's happier that way.

The best I can recommend is for you to advise him, but you can't really make someone quit. They have to want quit themselves.

[Asker]

You're right, but I'm not even sure if he wants to get out of it, and I know how hard it is, because my older brother only quit a year ago after being in rehab. I know the consequences, and I'd love to help him, but as you said, he has to want it.

[GingerGuy]

You have to decide for yourself if it's something you can accept about him or not? I was in the same boat once, I really liked a girl but found out she smoked week and unfortunately it was a deal breaker for me. I can't stand the smell of it nor do I want it in my life in any way. I still really liked her and continued to remain friends but I couldn't take it further with her.

[Anonymous]

As much as you like him I would forget it to be honest. You're young and before too long he could be trying to talk you into smoking it yourself. Even for fun or to just try it. It happens.

[Anonymous]

Move on. Druggies are no good.