For the last year my boyfriend has been having secret Facebook chats and long phone calls with an ex girlfriend who he went out with 25 years ago... yes TWENTY FIVE. I confronted him a couple of times about it and he just said that she has problems with drink after a divorce and he is just being supportive and compassionate, in his words 'something I would know nothing about' which was so defensive. He also promised that she was just 'some drunk woman' and that he wasn't interested in her and that he's only friends with her on Facebook because she's a friend of a friend. He promised he'd never contact her again after I became really upset.
Months later I've found he's still secretly talking to her and having long conversations, giving her advice on depression and help for drinking but denies it. This has put a massive strain on our relationship as you can imagine as it's been going on for a year and he doesn't know that I've been spying on his texts and Facebook messages which, yes, I know is wrong but if he didn't care about this woman why keep in touch? I found one Facebook message from him to a friend saying that he is trying to help an ex he used to love and still does, which is why 'it's so difficult. ' I don't know what that means. Another to her said he'd love to see her but 'it would make things difficult. ' I'm so upset to the point that I haven't been able to have sex with him for at least 4 months, particularly as they've made jokes/sexual compliments to each other as they remembered how they looked then (they hadn't seen each other in years. My boyfriend stayed over last night after visiting his parents at his hometown 40 miles away. He hasn't shaved his pubes for a few months as we haven't had sex but in bed when I reached down there he kept his hands down on his balls and wouldn't move his hands away. He didn't hold me from behind either in bed line he usually does. I could tell he was protecting himself and felt that he was smooth. Please help!
Months later I've found he's still secretly talking to her and having long conversations, giving her advice on depression and help for drinking but denies it. This has put a massive strain on our relationship as you can imagine as it's been going on for a year and he doesn't know that I've been spying on his texts and Facebook messages which, yes, I know is wrong but if he didn't care about this woman why keep in touch? I found one Facebook message from him to a friend saying that he is trying to help an ex he used to love and still does, which is why 'it's so difficult. ' I don't know what that means. Another to her said he'd love to see her but 'it would make things difficult. ' I'm so upset to the point that I haven't been able to have sex with him for at least 4 months, particularly as they've made jokes/sexual compliments to each other as they remembered how they looked then (they hadn't seen each other in years. My boyfriend stayed over last night after visiting his parents at his hometown 40 miles away. He hasn't shaved his pubes for a few months as we haven't had sex but in bed when I reached down there he kept his hands down on his balls and wouldn't move his hands away. He didn't hold me from behind either in bed line he usually does. I could tell he was protecting himself and felt that he was smooth. Please help!
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