When people say they "don't want any drama" - What are the various ways that is meant to be understood?

[Anonymous]

In the context of relationships, dating, crushes - anything attraction based acquaintance.

[anonymousforever]

The power struggle for the upper hand in a relationship when the woman is trying to manipulate the man via mind games. Playing hard to get/flaking out. Playing jealousy games to find out how much he likes her, get confirmation of admiration, trigger a competition response, or just being cruel. When you try to see what you can get away with to see if you can walk all over our spine or if we don't let you walk on our spine will we react harshly and expecting us to walk a perfect line on your tightrope. Asking us stupid questions that are only meant to test us, our taste, or willingness to do things for you, how much we like you, yada, yada, yada. Asking about old relationships to test how we handled things with other girls, where things got messed up and trying to place blame. Sexual teasing. Watching the rumor mill run rampant around us as you talk about us good or bad behind our backs to your friends and then their friends to random strangers until you see it on everyone face. Should I go on or is that enough to give you an idea of how messed up you girls can be some times and why we feel like we are on an episode of Jerry Springer.

[Asker]

7 GUYS do not do this?

I did not realize it was a gender specific question.

& If I ask about a past relationship AFTER a guy has just told me about one, it is ON;Y because I want to know how he relates to people in that situation, since I don't know him very well & I don't want to get played.

I think what you are saying is probably VERY common, however I am SURE that guys do those too.

Do you think it is drama to ignore a girlfriend/boyfriend assuming^ they lost interest, while you know you like them?

[anonymousforever]

I didn't say it was gender specific. You are a girl asking. I am a guy answering. I'm giving you my honest perspective. The only thing on that list that I partake in is the power struggle when it is forced upon me and I only fight battles I know I can win. Honestly I like to avoid it all because eventually it just becomes a battle rather then a partnership and feels like a huge waste of time. If a girl plays games too many games I know I can't trust her so what's the point.

[Asker]

Yeah ok. I just was not asking specifically about girls & if you are a guy you may dare girls but you have closer access to guy behavior... I appreciate your list - it was helpful..



My thoughts on my own I have a vague sense of someone being melodramatic, whining or blaming other people for everything.

in part/ I was asking was cause this guy asked me why I never asked him about how I felt about him & I said cause I thought I knew & he said HE could not ask me cause he did not want DRAMA ??

[soslin711]

A lot of that is true, however.. the whole testing you, asking how much you like us, getting confirmation.. we do that because men aren't as verbal as we are. Women need more confirmation than men do, and since you guys usually show your affection through actions rather than verbally telling us, yeah, sometimes we'll fish for a compliment or two. Sorry, we want to hear you say nice things about us. :)

[Asker]

People take adavntage of the fact they are not expected to be very verbal & they keep things ambiguous on purpose cause it is fun to watch a person try 2 figure out, & even better if they get to complain to there friends...

"So&so is making such a big deal out of everything & they won't let it go they keep asking me what I mean..."

If you wnat someone to stop asking you to clarify then BE CLEAR - common knowledge.

I personally do not want to hear NICE things I just want to hear CLEAR/ direct

[WeaponZero]

when a guy says it, there's really only one thing it means--that they won't put up with a girl who will introduce any stress into their lives, and that they don't have the patience to deal with a girl who is possessive, argumentative, clingy, jealous, controlling, high maintenance, demanding, or is in any way overemotional. that is its one, single, solitary meaning.

when two people are in a relationship they have a responsibility to one another to lessen the stresses of daily life for each other. when one of them starts adding to the problem and bringing more stress in than theyre helping with, theyre not doing their job. and most guys won't have any problem cutting them loose without giving them a second chance, because the problem at that point isn't with some specific thing they did but with rather the kind of person they are.

[Asker]

A guy once asked me why I did not ask ihm how felt about ihm if I dubted is feelings for me... I had stopped talking to hi because I thought he had a lot f work to do & I hada lot of work to do & I was leaving soon anyways &things just started to seem al around awkward... So I stopped talking as a strange way of respecting both of us lol

But I did no doubt his feelings it had nothing to do with that.

I asked him why he did not ask me, if he thought it was so reasonable to ask that of some-

[Asker]

-(Which btw I do not think it is reasonable, to ask that of anyone- they would let you know if they wanted you to... Is how I see it.)

Anyways I asked ihm why, & he said he did othave time ( which is what I had just said) then he said he did not want to play games& he did not want Drama.

I may not have acted entirely comprehensible , but I fail to see ow Drama fits in there anywhere at all.

btw : What does it mean if a guy is being a dramatic?

:-)

[DIPEPDINGOLD]

It means a lot...you wouldn't want to date a guy with drama! Believe me...there are all sorts a drama that NOT only dating relationships can have but friendships, and family drama also. But in general dating/relationship drama can be baby mama drama : which means for example: a guy could be dating a girl who has a child and a crazy baby dady..along with the package. The guy wants you NOT the extra stuff. Or a girl can be dating a guy who is antisocial: which means he crazyy ass hell.

BASICALLY, you don't want any relationship with too MUCH drama...I say too much because having a little makes life interesting but having too much is a no-no. But we have to face it...anyone who we allow in our lives have issues and drama whether we like it or not.

[Asker]

Can be dating a guy who is antisocial: which means he crazyy ass hell. " how does thatone manifest its self? ?

Thank you by the way, for the extended response.

[DIPEPDINGOLD]

Ok, you must not understand my point. A person can be anti social which means --has sudden mood swings, gets paranoid when you don't call, goes into a rage when you don't help hide the bodies...so yea... therefore bringing drama into your life. Get it now??

[Asker]

Yes I did not get it , which is why I asked you to clarify - thanks for the clarification- I get it now^ ^

;-)

[DIPEPDINGOLD]

Super !

[Anonymous]

When young guys have said this to me and I started to date them, I finally concluded it meant that they liked dating someone who did not give them any grief when they were flaky and jerks. And I didn't, I just dropped them like a bad habit. Young girls wouldn't drop them, they would try to nag them to change and they did not like that, lol.

[Asker]

Haha Yeah, I think in my case it meant that he did not want anyone else's drama- & or to call him on HIS drama ^ ^

It may be that as he did not know me very well, he assumed that what I was doing was gong to turn into drama.. ,But as an end discussion comment, it is rediculous, because we barely talked the whole time.

He was mad because I did not talk to him, but he wanted to know what was going on.

I said nothing because-i thought - I knew-

If he knew he did nt kow he should'da spoke up^

[Opinion Owner]

People definitely have different meanings for "drama". What one person considers drama, another doesn't. Or they just don't want your opinions but have no problem giving you theirs.

[Asker]

Yeah pretty much thanks lol

Actually I think by definition drama IS what one person considers to be someone else oppressing them in one way or another. lol

[Reeses-pieces777]

drama means baggage from previous relationships, annoying friends who talk behind your back, people who slander you, cheating bf/ girlfriend scenarios, constant fighting etc. Those are things I Would define as drama

[Asker]

Ok thanks!

[MIsterDomino]

For guys: "I don't want any drama" = My last girlfriend was a clingy, passive-aggressive, crazy, controlling bitch, so I'm just looking for a no-strings-attached situation right now.

[Asker]

A guy once asked me why I did not ask ihm how felt about ihm if I dubted is feelings for me... I had stopped talking to hi because I thought he had a lot f work to do & I hada lot of work to do & I was leaving soon anyways &things just started to seem al around awkward... So I stopped talking as a strange way of respecting both of us lol

But I did no doubt his feelings it had nothing to do with that.

I asked ihm why he did not ask me if he thought it was so reasonable to ask that of some-

[Asker]

Which btw I do not think it is reasonable, to ask that of anyone- they would let you know if they wanted to is how I see it.

Anyways I asked ihm why, & he said he did othave time ( which is what I had just said) then he said he did not want to play games& he did not want Drama.

I may not have acted entirely comprehensible , but I fail to see ow Drama fits in there anywhere at all.

btw : What does it mean if a guy is being a dramatic?

[luciaa]

if you give him any problems, you are history. Listen to him, he is telling you something about himself here. I DONT CARE.

[Asker]

Yeah, that about sums it up.

I got REALLY busy with work,for a while & I wasn't really talking to him as much & I did t do a good job of explaining that to him, & he thought I was not interested in him (we just started dating) & later on w were talking about it & he wanted to ow why I did ask him.

him how he felt & I said I thought I knew & he said he didn't ask me cause he did not have time & he did not want to play games... That he did not need any drama.

Who knew? lol

[76blh]

Ask him. It probably means that he didn't want big deep discussions where he might be asked awkward questions but to keep things light and fun.

[Asker]

Well he said that he thought I was ignoring him & that I should have asked him how he felt about me. I said I am not used to talking about feelings & anyways I thought I knew.

I asked him why he did not ask ME & he said that he did not have time & he did not want to play games & no drama.

So I don't know if he meant he thought I was ACTING that way,or just that he did not want it - but I was not trying to play games, I like straightforwardness

btw- He does not like things to be light ^ ^

[76blh]

Imho he sounds more trouble than he's worth. I also like straightforwardness. Should've, could've conversations frustrate me. If you want to know something then ask.. If he wants you to know how he feels then why isn't he telling you, instead of asking why you didn't ask. I think I'm getting confused somewhere, don't take any notice of me if I'm not making any sense! Sounds to me like he is playing games though.

[Asker]

Haha I'll except that, but what would YOU mean by Drama - his behavior is sort of secondary.. I was mostly curious about what OTHER people mean by DRAMA

[Anonymous]

Drama seems to be something that everyone wants (look at all those people who are using that word and those that are attracted to those drama filled reality shows), but no one want to admit that it is what they are looking for.

[Asker]

Good point.

Yeah I agree- Especially since I am in theatre... Tho, I get to work all that out on stage & I stay relatively RATIONAL in real life - people often think Actors are drama queens, but there are other ways to look at it.

I was curious about what people who ACCUSE people of it mean.. In my experience, MELO - DRAMATIC people usually accuse others of causing DRAMA cause the melo's have no other way of looking a anything lololol

[133mike]

It's one thing to look at the drama in other people's lifes, and it's a completely different thing to deal with it in your everyday life. You are not stressed out or emotionally drained after an argument you have seen on tv. I think that what people who are attracted to those reallity shows really want is excitement but the tv producers realised that that easiest way to bring excitement is to bring drama. why do you think that they always make sure to have opposite personalities in those shows?

[Asker]

You are not stressed out or emotionally drained after an argument you have seen on hahaha I am if it reminds me of something someone said to me, or rather bS that someone tried to project onto or blame on me.

I really wanted to know what people think of drama how they define it,in the context of relationships, & such things.

[Opinion Owner]

In the context of relationships, drama to me is a lot of unnecessary stuff, like

did he cheat?

why is that girl texting him?

where was he last friday when he didin't pick up when I called?

his ex is back in town and he's going to have dinner with her?

I guess it all leads back to a lack of trust

[McDonald]

well in my opinion that means the don't want you, or their taken

[Asker]

Someone would say they don't want any Drama, when they do not want you, rather then saying they do not want you?

isn't that sort of - creating Drama?