My friends with benefits won't let me go but won't commit. Why is he doing this to me?

[Anonymous]

So, I've had the same friends with benefits for 2 and half years. At first it was just sex but now he knows I want more. He knows how I feel about him and what I want too. Every time I try to break things off with him or meet another guy I like he comes on stronger, is more affectionate, and always manages to get me to change my mind. But then reverts backs to his old ways once he knows I'm not going anywhere. We aren't on the same page but he won't let me go. I've told him I don't want to have sex with him anymore because it's keeping me from dating because I have feelings for him. But he refuses to let me go. I'm getting wipe lash from this. I don't get why he won't commit but won't let me go either. It's torture. What is his problem? Why is he doing this to me?

[Darkfairie17]

He's being selfish and manipulative. He's not in it for your best interest, only his. I would honestly stop seeing him. Cut your loses, this guy is not worth your time. It sounds to me like he only wants you on his terms and that is not fair to you at all.

You deserve to be happy in your situation and it sounds like you are not.

You may feel powerless in this situation, but you have power. You have the choice to leave. He can't make you stay. Though you may have feelings for him, he's not allowed to force you to stay. You can choose to see other guys and to refuse to sleep with him.

Try to keep busy, distance yourself from him. Its' going to be hard, but you can do it. Choose happiness. Don't let this guy use you anymore for his selfish game.

[Darkfairie17]

Thanks! :)

[Anonymous]

he's only using you for sex, thats the whole point. You need to stop talking to him and cut all ties with him. you're allowing him to disrespect you, and allowing him to keep you from getting someone who will love and treat you better. You dont want that.

[PrettyBama]

There's no such thing as a person refusing to let you go. You let him go. And be head strong enough to let him go for good. If he knows all he has to do is pretend to want you he's gonna keep doing that.

[pleasehelpmelol]

Obviously he has commitment issues. And also I'm pretty sure its that even though he doesn't want to commit to a relationship with you, he still gets jealous when you meet another guy and tries to come off affectionate obviously so you won't see anyone else. So you need to either try to talk to him one more time about what you want with him, or just break it off. Just let him go. Tell him your not gonna wait around for him. Because the one thing for sure is that HE HAS YOU ON A LEASH. Be stronger than that.

[pleasehelpmelol]

Thank you!

[Flurr]

What's your problem? He isn't the one preventing you from leaving, you are. You have to take responsibility for your life. I'm not trying to be rude, I'm just telling you the truth.

[Pooey]

I'm in exactly the same boat as you.
I'm resigning myself to letting it run it's course.
If your like me, I can feel trapped and I often delude myself to thinking he might feel the same about me, or maybe he's not ready to settle down etc...
I just date other people now, I try to be honest with them but also not see him while I'm dating other people (just to be fair).
I figure, the longer it goes on like this, the more I think he won't change and the less confident I feel about his attitude about 'us'.

[LifeEqualsLove]

He wants to have his cake and eat it too.

At the end of the day, you are allowing him to do this. Just cut him off completely.

[SarahsSummer]

Ignore his calls stay away and meet other guys. Begin dating. He won't change and is beyond selfish for keeping you from finding true happiness.

[Idontknowwhyy93]

It means he wants you around as a back up sex partner so he gives you fake signs of hope for commitment.

[RedInnocent69]

Because you let him. Why would he?