Why is my boyfriend so quiet lately? Please help?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend the past few weeks has been acting sort of emotionally distant. I feel as though we have not grown as a couple because he never shares important stuff with me. He's been stressed about certain things and whenever he gets stressed he shuts down and goes into his man cave. He still wants to see me all the time tells me he loves me so much and gives me tons of affection but lately sometimes we'll hangout and not have deep discussions or watch tv in silence. I feel like when I've tried to bring up that I feel I want to connect more instead of making me feel reassured he gets annoyed when I bring issues up. I don't know what to do? Any help would be greatly appreciated!

[AynonOMouse]

There are a few possibilities.
He could have done something wrong and he's afraid of how it will affect your relationship.
He could be working up the courage to ask you something important to him, but he is afraid of what you will think.
He could be dealing with something that is really difficult and it hurts too much to talk about it.

The best thing to do is tell him that if he needs to talk to you about something important he can and you will just listen if that is what he wants. Also hold his hand when you tell him this so it sounds genuine. Then don't ask again.

Just don't accuse him of being distant or doing something wrong unless you know for sure, because showing that you don't trust him can irrevocably and permanently damage your relationship and cause him to figure you don't really care about him so he may do things to purposely mess up the relationship if that happens.
I hope this helps.

[Kaylyne]

My own woman's intuition would be telling me that he's hiding something.
Perhaps a guilty conscience..

[Asker]

What makes you think that?

[Kaylyne]

Well it's apparent that there is very little, if any communication between the two of you.
And when there is he either clams up or gets extremely annoyed.
So by doing that he's hopeful that you won't ask him any awkward questions, or challenge his motives.

[Asker]

I don't know it's not the vibe I'm getting. I just feel like I've gotten mad at him a few times in the past and he is holding resentment. My woman intuition is usually good. However I don't know how to open up the gates of communication if when I bring it up I feel like I annoy him.

[Kaylyne]

You somehow need to find the time and the place (wherever that might be) to sit down quietly and rationally to try and open that communication door.
And the sooner the better, before this festers into something far worse.