My husband is begging me not to divorce him?

Question

So my husband and I have been separated for a year... which means I can file for a divorce soon. But lately he's been trying to "work things out" with me. Sending flowers, asking if we can go to lunch, even asking if I'd "come home" and spend the night with him. He says he's willing to do whatever it takes to prove to me that he's changed, including going to therapy/counseling and swears I'm the only woman that's right for him. He's really hurt me in the past (not physically) and I'm just not sure if I can trust him again. I thought for sure we'd divorce and go our separate ways but now I'm not sure? What do you think?

Levin · Accepted Answer

I think you could go for a chat on neutral ground, to get a sense of where you both are and how you feel about each other, whether you realistically see any future.

Any promises he makes are a nonsense. As are all the gimmicks including flowers if there's an overall *communication breakdown*. If he saw the truth of change, he'd be undertaking the work right now, or within the past year. He wouldn't promise it in the future. If I were you, I'd be sceptical. If you were unhappy in the marriage, and have been happier alone, with the potentiality of new horizons, then what does that tell you?

madhatters4 · Accepted Answer

i think that if you consider getting back together with him you probably should go to therapy to make sure that the issues that were present have worked themselves out.

if you still have feelings for him it may be worth it exploring if things have changed enough that you can repair your relationship. however if you don't have those feelings for him then you probably just need to continue to move on

RJGraveyTrain · Accepted Answer

Honestly, what I think is you have to do what feels right to you.

If you're only considering going forward because of the spectacle he's putting on, even though you know in your heart you can't trust him - do not waste either of your time. Sometimes we try to make things work hoping they'll be as they were, but as time goes on they rarely stay that way, especially if there's been hurt or mistrust.

If you want to work it out because YOU WANT TO BE WITH HIM, AND LOVE HIM, NOT HIS GRAND EFFORT, then work it out. Otherwise you're going to be repeating the same cycle.

miamigirl1970 · Accepted Answer

I think you have to listen with your heart, but weigh things out with your head. Only you know if he has changed. People can change, but they change when they are ready, if they try to change for other people, it is usually only temporary before they go back to their old ways. If you love him and want to be with him, go to counseling, take it slow, and see if there is a way back. Either way, don't live with regrets, do what you think is best for you! Best of Luck

Izumiblu · Accepted Answer

Go see a couples counselor and have a talk about whether staying together is what you both want. Really, it's not an easy question to answer and it will take some time and effort on your part to figure it out for yourself.

LoveHolyGod · Accepted Answer

Please try to find it in your heart to forgive him, to work on things. God can heal all things.

thetundrawolf · Answer

So when you gave your oath to him, for better or for worse, you were lying?

Women who get one divorce are many more times likely to get another, and another, my own mother proof of that. He's willino to try again. At one point you loved him. Life isn't easy, in fact it's hard, it's painful, and it sucks. Are yout willing to continue to work at it and get stronger?

FLOGrown93 · Answer

I recently broke the trust of the woman who is soul mate, truly believe she is

I'm working with getting the trust back

All I can say is, we're all human and we make mistakes. The key is that we learn from them.

Look into this person and give them a chance

If you see change and nothing but dedication for you then go with it and don't be so guarded you talk yourself out of it

Just let him know there's a certain number of strikes to go before you're gone for good

Anonymous · Answer

Tell him that you'll come home if you get to be in control from now on. He has to ask your permission to go anywhere and stuff like that. Maybe that will help.
If you have kids together you should try to work it out, but if not, then it depends on how good your relationship used to be for if it is worth it.

bizzz · Answer

Maybe the realization that you're leaving changed him. If he's doing all that for you, he's 100% sure about you and he cares. I'd give him 1 more chance to see if he truly is a man of his word

SarahsSummer · Answer

If you just separated without first exploring councelling, I'd go to councelling with him. How did he hurt you? what caused the separation?

skeptic002 · Answer

Divorce is a huge issue Hun and very risky some guys kill for it I suggest you be cautious of your decision remember you do it and he has all the right to kill you

ACrazyHaggis · Answer

That's between you and him. All I can suggest is think it over totally make a decision and stick with it no matter the outcome if yo feel it's the best choice to make

Tarnygosh · Answer

Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me. That's all I'll say

disgustingweebtrash · Answer

You could divorce him, but it does sound like he's trying to change.

Anonymous · Answer

Cheating, is physically hurting you, he had sex with another woman, that's "being physical"

Cosytoasty · Answer

Lol he just wants to keep the house he paid for.

CisScum · Answer

What were your guys's problems may I ask?

Anonymous · Answer

Give it more time til your sure

Jan1ssary_ · Answer

Dump him already for swallowing his pride.

My husband is begging me not to divorce him?

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