How to deal with your boyfriend suddenly going cold on you?

[Anonymous]

Around a month or so ago I was on the phone to him having a late night conversation like we always used too, that was the last time we properly spoke. Since then he's been going through personal family issues, and went cold on me. He became impossible to get hold of, and when he did answer his phone he sounded short tempered or stessed. It upset me so much. I have anxiety and depression, so my head has been going around in circles trying to figure out what I did. Its confusing me because we were both happy. I keep thinking "surely this is just a temporary thing, and he'll call me soon, he can't just leave with no word". I haven't called him in around 2 weeks, I'm waiting until he contacts me. But I don't know how to accept the fact that he may never contact me again? I just don't understand...

[MissFizzy]

If he's going through family issues, that's probably why he's being so cold, but the fact that he hasn't messaged you in two weeks is wrong. Try not to blame yourself, the way he's reacting to you isn't your fault. Sometimes when people are stressed they take it out on the people around them.
Have you two been together long? I feel like it's a bad sign that he becomes closed of with you when problems arise, he could share them with you or at least tell you he needs time alone. Communication is key in a relationship.

If you want, I think you should message him one last time, with something along the lines of, "I'm really sorry that you are going through a hard time, but I just want to be there for you. I'd appreciate it if you could at least tell me why you won't talk to me"
If he still doesn't reply, I think you should start moving on, it's easier said than done but I think it'd be for the best.
Good luck, though, I hope you guys will work it out :)

[blunttalker]

2 weeks? i've always texted every single day with my boyfriend since we met. It's weird, it doesn't sound like a normal relationship, if he's having family issues he should be able to talk about it with you, he should be opened with you, you're supposed to be part of his family too, you need to be part of that. I know every single family issue my boyfriend has, because im his closest best friend, im the only one who he feels comfortable talking about anything, this should happenned to you to. I think you should call him. meet and break up with him, he doesn't want to be in this relationship probably. I'm very sorry, something like that happened to me too and i broke up with that guy.

[depeche2015]

I have anxiety and depression and well and I understand how you're feeling. I'd feel the same way too but don't worry too much give him time.. I know it's hard and easier said than done but put yourself in his shoes. If what he's going through is rough then he might need some time maybe he's going through a really low time in his life. As a boyfriend he should love you always and right now you should be in his heart and he does still love you. I think his family problems have probably been upsetting him and he has a lot to handle right now. Talk to him patiently about his problems maybe he needs someone to understand him and listen to him.

[popgreen]

2 weeks he has not called you? Are you serious? Do you want to be miserable? And for how long? If he is treating you this way, would you really be happy with him? Talk to your friends or whoever you are close to. Even if he is going through some problem how can he not at least call you once a day. 1 day has 24 hours and he cannot even call for 15 seconds?
Dont let anyone treat you like this. You are way better and deserve much better.
I know you want to help him, but 2 weeks is too long.
I am sorry, i sound harsh, but dont waste time. Time is the most important thing. Concentrate on your studies or job. Good luck.

[FemWorship]

He was fully loaded taking care of your problems but still afloat
now that higher priorities need his support, he has to jettison & stiff arm lesser ones... apparently, your maintenance is not as life threatening as his family's... there's only so much of him to go around.
If someone's in the hospital, all you have to do is show up and begin helping, running errands, etc. demonstrating that you can be a helper not just maintenance.

[jp612612]

Unfortunately, this happens a lot at your age. You're at an age when you both have more dating options than you'll ever have in your life. Because of that, relationships begin and end at a rapid rate. If you want to try to salvage things, then you're going to need to call him to try to get him to communicate but you need to be ready to accept that he's no longer interested and wants to move onto something else -- if he hasn't already.

[madhatters4]

a month of not talking to a partner is a long time unless something is specifically wrong between the two people other things shouldn't really keep you from corresponding with a bf/gf for a month

i'd call him and if he doesn't answer i'd text or email. at some point you sort of need to take a stand that you understand he's going through stuff but you can't simply alienate people especially people you care about

[Cosytoasty]

No contact in over 2 weeks? I don't think he's your boyfriend anymore lol. Text him saying it's over and go find other other men. You have to shock yourself out of this spiral of bad thoughts.

Trust me, once another guy gives you attention you'll soon forget.

[BrileyCat]

have you contacted a mutual friend or his family? Maybe someone can give you an idea what's going on with him.
since he hasn't called you or text you to say he's having personal / private problems
he doesn't want to share or discuss or discuss with, then immediately send him
that type of message to him, adding you understand and care,
but he needs let you know. if you don't hear back within a couple of days,
be brave and move on... and send him another message stating just that.

[Babybabe]

When he say family thing does it mean his kids and ex? And if so, you were being lied to and were a fun fuck. You got to clingy. And he really doesn't want that with you. Most likely he is not really single in the first place. And if his facebook say he is... It isn't true. He uses it as bait for stupid girl to believe his story... Makes it more believable.

[toast-is-nice]

It might not have anything to do with you. He might just be overwhelmed with his family issues. talk to him about it, but don't come from a place of judgment, come from a place of care. Act like you genuinely care about him and want to know if he's ok/ whats wrong. Don't be accusing, he is less likely to be honest that way

[225Taylor]

I don't think you should be waiting so long. If it's really family issues he's dealing with, you should try to be there for him. Show him that you care and that he can talk to you. Sounds like he needs a friend right now. Go to his house or something. He's going cold and you need to warm him up, that's what girlfriends are for, in my opinion.

[5amSunset]

Ugh. I'm really sorry - I can't imagine that.

I think you should text him and seriously see what's up. Tell him you've been patient but you guys are DATING or you're not. You need closure and let him know that you need to know what's going on. You deserve that. Clearly he's going through some issues and he's thinking it's okay to treat you like you aren't a girlfriend and never were. You deserve better. You deserve to at least know what's happening.

[little_bird1]

Well the same thing happened with my ex. I let him deal with his stuff, and then a week later he dumped me. Reason: "I just don't love you anymore". Why: "He was banging some other girl behind my back for 5 months".

[lilac_flowers]

Break up with him. If he does nothing to mend the relationship, you did the right thing. If he does try to fix things give him a chance. But please break up. Don't keep hanging around, it's desperate.

[MarianoVertiz]

He's probably in the same boat with you with the depression and anxiety. Family issues can be tough and I would say that it would be beneficial to meet up in person and talk about it. If that's not possible, Skype is the next best thing. Try calling him again, maybe his is more stable after a couple of weeks?

Anyways, he is in the wrong, and you should not blame yourself for this. Good luck!

[Cady_19]

He's probably going through something. Try to talk to him and make sure he knows you're here for him

[Anonymous]

Break up with him. I'm waiting for any excuse to break up with mine now.

[JustCallMeLeon]

2 weeks is a LONG time. Call him. Something is definitelywrong here. Talk more.

[blondfrog]

Maybe he went to a cold play concert or he finds you annoying.

[Anonymous]

do him a huge favor and dump him... he's fallen prey enough times to your drama and cunning manipulation

[GoldCobra]

Like madhatters4 said, call him and see if he responds. He maybe going through stuff.

[Anonymous]

Keep Calm, and Give Time

[bcromartie]

Murder him.