He insulted my body, should I stay with him?

[Anonymous]

Me and my boyfriend have been dating about 6 months and we had a pretty big fight and didn't talk for a few days. When we finally met up to talk he just looked me up and down and told me that I have no ass, and that I needed to do squats so "at least there'd be something there" (making a remark at my little boobs I guess)... The thing is, I'm very fit and I'm a runner, so I have a different body type but I've always felt confident about it. He told me now that he was just playing, but I'm kind of apauled that he even said that... Should I let it go or ditch him for good?

[zoezhart]

My mind is screaminggg no, if a guy wants to date you he should be loving of your body no matter what it looks like. "just playing" it's not a valid excuse. He should have even said that to you under anY circumstances. Don't let a guy disrespect you like that I promise there will be someone better. if you liked someone, their lack of ass would not be an issue. A person is much more than their physical apperance anyways. And if y'all had a fight and he waited days before talking to you and then the first thing he did was insult you he's definitely not worth it. Preserve your happiness and find a better man love

[lumos]

The fuck is wrong with him? He thinks it's tactful to say something like that after a fight? Dump his ass. I used to have a "friend" when I was like 10, who would say shit to my face and then claim she was "just joking" and that I "had no real reason to be upset". She was a bully and did stuff like that all the time so that she could get away with it. So yeah. He's on the same level as a girl who used to bully me when we were 10. Let that sink in for a while and then ask yourself if he's even worth it.

[btbc92]

That is very disrespectful I'm sure he wouldn't like it if somebody man fun of his penis size and how he needs to stretch it more to fit. I don't agree with premarital sex, but this is one of the reasons why I don't. I wouldn't even speak to him for a while before you make a decision to bounce. But if you really need to which I don't mind either way, then dump him. But understand also that at arguments are the heat of the moment. But him 'joking' is unacceptable.

[JuicyBrain]

Wow, he purposefully said that to hurt you. I am willing to bet he actually doesn't care. That was petty and mean for no reason. You could probably patch things up with him, but do you really want this? This is not the last time this is going to happen. It says a lot about who he is and personally, I don't like that.

[truthbeknown]

Well, he was obviously still angry or hurt from the fight and felt the need to hurt you back. If you think he could be sorry for what he did, or being angry was justified, then maybe you could work with him. If not, then this might be your sign to exit the relationship.

[Hopefuldreamer8]

Ditch him. I just think he's the type who will always find some way to insult you to make you feel insecure. If he does this after one fight, he might keep doing it. Either tell him that this is completely unacceptable and it had better not ever happen again, or dump him.

[Blonde401]

The person you're with should love you for who you are. You're fit and healthy and probably have a killer bod. Dump him and find someone who does appreciate what you have. Doesn't matter what you look like, nobody has the right to try and change anything about you.

[super147]

To say that when you're on good terms might be less of an issue, you could maybe take it as a joke. To say it after you've not talked for a few days because of a big fight is just downright stupid. I would be tempted to dump him for his lack of tact and basic intelligence as much as anything else.

[Elarra]

Well, you need to let him know that those comments are unwanted and not funny. I do actually think he was joking, though. A lot of people say that to each other in a joking manner, but still, if it bothered you then you need to lay down some ground rules.

[Levin]

Dude, madam, even people at the office, who I don't particularly like, wouldn't say something so horrible to me. And that's coming from someone who you're expecting to be intimate with? In my view, or for me in that situation, the relationship would be over. To look at you with disgust and to actively undermine your confidence. That's worst enemy territory...

[Levin]

Also, we can speculate that that would be something that extremely insecure and miserable people say, putting other people down and fucking up their confidence, in order to empower themselves. Not someone you should go within a mile of.

[dragonfly6516]

Six months is way past that "not my type" mark. He's not satisfied with you, and that's not at all your fault. He's trying to change you, and he waited until well after your feelings were invested and you two were established. That tells me that he's just a weak person who doesn't want to have to do any real work on himself. He thinks what he wants will come to him and be handed to him. He only apologized to keep you around so that he wouldn't have to be alone.

[HOAAH]

love doesn't keep a record of wrongs... so just forgive and forget BUT
love doesn't delight in evil so tell him that it hurt your feelings that he was so shallow and only focused on your appearance instead of your inner characteristics and how that made you feel. Tell him that you expect to NEVER hear that again from him, and you MEAN it by your TONE of voice. Then move on

[Idonthaveausername]

You should never be in a relationship with someone who insults you or puts you down. Love is when you do everything possible to bring someone up.

It doesn't matter if he was joking or not. He wouldn't have joked about it if he didn't see some truth in it. Dump him--you deserve better

[Mofunfour20]

he was playing? wtf, who jokes like that with their girl? Sounds like you're used to him speaking recklessly

[RicanEyes]

I agree with you @Mofunfour20

[Asker]

No he's never said anything remotely disprespetful or mean before, which is why it's hard for me to let it slide.

[Mofunfour20]

To some people six months can seem like a long time, just sounds complacent on his part. But if you don't see it within his character to do it again then let it go. Id say the same to my sister

[MarkRet]

You need to lay some ground rules with this guy, and tell him that if he wants to stick around, he is not to insult you like that again. If he can''t deal with it, he needs to go.

[RJGraveyTrain]

I would have told him to eat a bowl of shit for breakfast and ended it there, but I guess it depends on whether or not you can personally look past it.

[AriadneSky]

the fact he said it at all is low class. saying it bc you're fighting is pathetic. I don't know if you should dump him but my respect for him would severely plummet from this.

[SarahsSummer]

yeah, thats not funny or remotely "play"-ful. Time for someone who apreciates you for who you are and what you have.

[RicanEyes]

That was very rude of him and was trying to put you down. That's how some little boys act NOT a man. I would definitely leave him for good that's how it all starts.

[Puppylove94]

Lol @ how offended girls get about their bodies. This isn't about him... this is about your insecurities.

[AriadneSky]

there was no reason to say it. he was trying to insult her is the point. not bc its about her body.

[Puppylove94]

@AriadneSky that's not an insult, it's a joke.

[AriadneSky]

they were in a fight. why would he randomly joke about her body.

[dragonfly6516]

I'm over 200lbs, and even I have kind of a flat ass. I have fat thighs and hips, but still no ass. Fat deposits in your ass are just like fat deposits in your breasts. if she were to change her lifestyle for him just to gain some weight, she *might* get a bigger ass. So this is not something that she can control, ergo, not a self esteem issue. He's complaining about a physical trait that she cannot change, and trying to make her feel bad for it.

[archiz]

lmfao of course it hurts if your SO says you re fugly

[Puppylove94]

@archiz he didn't say she was ugly tho haha

[archiz]

He said he didn t like her body indirectly doesn t find her body good enough.
It s like if you say to the guy: huh your dick was too small anw

[Puppylove94]

@archiz he's not saying he didn't like it. He said she needs to improve it. All of us need improvements... I'd appreciate someone pointing that out. Plus he tried to say it in a joking way... he wasn't trying to be a dick

[dragonfly6516]

@puppylove94 are you him? Exactly how do you know what he actually meant?

[archiz]

He said it in an insulting way lol
Not joking at all.
"At least there would be smthng there" lol

[dragonfly6516]

@archiz Those same words can also be taken as snide and biting. And again, short of getting implants, there is no guaranteed way that she could do anything about getting a bigger ass on her own. Gaining weight MIGHT put fat on her ass, MIGHT, and would require her to change her lifestyle.

[Puppylove94]

@dragonfly6516 the way she described it, it made me think he was joking

@archiz eh I don't know.. my brother would say that to me so I don't think it's that insulting. I like people telling me what I could improve on. He didn't say she had a horrible body- he said she could improve one area with squats. So he even told her how to achieve it.

To each their own tho I guess

[archiz]

Sure sure to each their own
I don t have the patience to argue much on things that don t regard me.
But considering the context (fight)
Use of words: "you have no ass" like that s purely negative "have a least smthng" purely negative
Not constructive at all
Also, you re brother isn t your lover a person you get intimate with. My bro is usually an ass lol it s a different dynamic relationship.

[archiz]

Ok I am done now 😂

[Puppylove94]

@archiz haha well I'm really close to my brother... not to sound creepy but I'm looking for a guy to treat me the exact same as my brother. I love our dynamic cause it's like a best friend type thing.

[Puppylove94]

@archiz if I'm putting on weight in a marriage, I sure as hell would hope he would tell me haha

[laurapalmer]

I would dump him... a partner shouldn't slam your body.

[archiz]

I would ditch that would really upset me and I d feel really insecure with him after that

[bedroomdweller]

^This OP

[archiz]

@bedroomdweller thanks 😛

[MickyMouse1231]

I would dump him... Joke or not, that's NOT okay for your boyfriend to say

[anaspie]

Hmm Bye boy! That's just not right you don't need someone like that in your life at all!

[cheeseNwine]

i have a rule.

if its true, dont take offense to it but change it

[Asker]

Well it is true that I have small boobs (although I do have a good butt). But that's just my body type and nothing that I can, or would, change

[cheeseNwine]

boobs sboobs

[lumos]

Just because something is true, it doesn't mean it's ok to use it as an attack. Nothing is wrong with small boobs or a small butt, they don't have a negative impact on a person's health or life it's just another body type. He used it as a personal attack though by making it seem like something negative that she has to change about herself (why?). That's really petty and real fucking childish.

[pooper89]

He should have been glad to see you and afraid he might lose you. What he said speaks otherwise

[jacquesvol]

Tell him you're a package deal: "love it or leave it."

[babeeeone]

Don't stay with somebody that makes you feel less of yourself

[madhatters4]

no you shouldn't be with him.

[Jan1ssary_]

Lmao that grumpy foo' ..

[Anonymous]

no. leave him

[locathepug2]

You should leave him