Can serial cheaters still love their partners?

Question

Luckily I've never been cheated on but this makes me wonder. If someone cheats on their partner (whether in a relationship or marriage) with 2 or more people can they still love their partner in their own way? Even if it's a distorted manner.

I've know two married men who have cheated multiple times but claimed to still love their wives and were devastated when the wife found out and nearly file for divorce.
My female best friend cheated on a previous boyfriend with 3 guys and according to her there was nothing wrong in the relationship. Like the men, she also couldn't explain why she cheated and claimed to still love her boyfriend and that it was just sex with the other guys.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

For a long time, I thought that if you truly loved your partner and are a strong person, then you will not cheat. I've been cheated on and it was devastating. In my case, my ex really didn't love me and made it clear to me when I found out he cheated.

Though I had a series of long talks with an older guy friend of mine who regularly cheated on his girlfriend for like 5 months straight. The perspective I achieved is from a guy's POV:

My friend really loved his girlfriend. They lived together, both went to school full time, and she worked part time while he worked in the medical field (so never part time lol). Their lives were so interwoven, it was crazy. They were both on student government with me. My friend wanted to marry her. However, he started cheating on her for 5 months until one day when she decided to go through his phone. They broke up, and he banged the other girl a few more times and then cut off communication.

According to my friend, he was madly in love his girlfriend but needed some more physical needs met. He was a wreck when she kicked him out and he couched surfed for a couple months until school ended. This was a yeah ago, and he's still not over her. He goes to see her once in awhile (a 2.5 hour drive from where my friend and I currently go to school, they have sex, and then she tells him what a piece of shit he is and doesn't deserve to be loved.

Honestly, I don't condone cheating, but I never really liked her anyways. She was always either telling me how pretty I am or telling me I'm immature.

Long story short, my friend loves her, but he cheated because he claimed he was needing more physically. The weird thing is, he described the girl he cheated on his girlfriend with as, "ugly, dumb, and mean. but willing to bang."

Razzle-Bedazzle · Accepted Answer

Yes, I believe some people who are in love are still capable of cheating. If you assume they wouldn't or couldn't , then you'd have to also assume those who aren't in love will cheat. Which is totally unfounded. I'd never cheat regardlesss if I was in love or not

People cheat because they lack willpower. They have no self- control over their desires and emotions. So when they are faced with a weak moment.. they'll cheat. They may love their SO and be full of remorse after the fact, and vow to never cheat again, but if they are ever in a vulnerable position again.. opportunity will control their loyalty. They are weak people , and once a person cheats that will always be their potential

jemjem2017 · Accepted Answer

its 50-50 some dump them right away some they give them a chance to change, but sometimes cheating is a choice, you choose to cheat with the person you love. and your female best friend is right she can't explain why? when you bit that sinful apple, its like a weed or a drug inside your body. no matter what you do or you promise to change, for awhile yes but you will still do it because of that sinful apple

jestingdemon · Accepted Answer

I think it's few and far between but my best friend is a married woman who has children I know she loves them a lot but she cheats on a regular basis almost anytime she's vulnerable or insecure. However in her case she became damaged due to some really bad events that happened to her much earlier on.

Superlolp · Accepted Answer

yes, but it will probably hurt the relationship. if the partner is understanding, however unlikely that is, it could work out, though.

caligirl03 · Answer

Love is selfless, and cheating is one of the most selfish acts a person can engage in, placing the two concepts at direct odds with one another. Unless of course the partner is aware of the situation and ok with it; however, that's an entirely different scenario...

MargaritaPeach · Answer

Some people choose not to practice self-control. It's a matter of choice. They don't exercise self-discipline, and let their desires and/or emotions rule their lives and dictate their actions. But I don't know that this means they can't love. They clearly just have a distorted view of what true love is. Maybe they are just selfish?

BrittBratt2416 · Answer

No, thats contradicting to me. If you claim to love someone then you don't go and betray that person by cheating on them. You can't have your cat and eat it to.. you either love that person or you don't.. actions speak louder than words. And those two men obviously don't love their wives as much they think or say other wise they wouldn't be cheating.

sailorjupiter · Answer

my boyfriend had a cheater ex girlfriend before this, she was married to other man while he's away at work, but she was still date him when he's come back from his work, until her husband confronted him about his wife. it was a bad experience for him, they broke up and the girl is still cheating her husband with other men. so yeah, a cheater can always being a cheater, even in a marriage.

samhradh_leannan · Answer

The ability to feel love isn't the same as the ability to be faithful. For a healthy and happy relationship, you need both. But they can exist separately.

That doesn't necessarily mean that your female friend loves her partners, but it's possible that she does.

BeautifulPromisesx · Answer

Hell no.. If you are willing to hurt the person you "love" just for a moment of pleasure and break their trust not to mention break their heart, then you are definitely NOT in love.

Luci92 · Answer

Yes, they can. Generally it means they're either  a) not getting enough attention/whatever out of their relationship or b) are just a cheating piece of shit asshole

lostgirl_searching · Answer

My dad friend was crazy about his wife. He literally did everything for her.  He cheated on her because he likes sex. When his wife left town for a month, that's when he cheated.

WhateverMayBeWillBe · Answer

I misread the title as serial killers... so disappointed :(

normalice · Answer

yes, in much the same way farmers can love their livestock - until it's time to visit the slaughterhouse.

vonasaurus · Answer

love implies trust and respect, two things a serial cheater cannot give his or her partner; therefore, no.

Turquoise46 · Answer

People who do this learn to compartmentalize their feelings for their SO as separate from their extracurricular activities.

Sapioit · Answer

Yes, but I'd still dump her on the spot. Or, if I'm living with her, when I have everything packed...

Sara413 · Answer

You can't love someone that you don't respect... and you can't cheat on someone who you respect... so no.

lumos · Answer

I would say no. You don't love a person if you're capable of hurting them like that.

Ahsain · Answer

If they change their ways then yes, but if they're still doing it then I would say no

Prof_Don · Answer

Yes they can. Just because said person isn't built for monogamy doesn't mean he/she doesn't love that person.

SirRexington · Answer

They can but their relationship won't last or else the victim of the slut/man whore will become a serial killer...

douride2 · Answer

I can't believe how many delusional people are out there.

HarrisonWells · Answer

No they can't if they truly loved them they wouldn't cheat.

amorpheus69 · Answer

Yeah, but a cheater will always be a cheater given the opportunity.

ToruMatsuda · Answer

They only love the fact that someone will wait for them at home while they go slut around elsewhere

YHL6965 · Answer

Compulsive cheating can come from mental disorders : the guy loves you but he can't stop cheating.

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah surely they can!! I have a question, do you like when guys shave their whole body including legs over very hairy man?

kemalim13 · Answer

of course they can still love.. if both of them cheat other, they love too much

Anonymous · Answer

You female friend is a piece of shit... huh

yotes-of-472 · Answer

Yes, they can.

Anonymous · Answer

i don't think so

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