My best friend and boyfriend have the same birthday weekend, what do I do?

[Anonymous]

My best friend is turning 21 this week and we have been talking about it for awhile now!

my boyfriends birthday is on Sunday and he will be turning 22. We have a long distance relationship and he wanted to come up to visit me, the same weekend as my best friends birthday weekend..

is it messed up to bring my boyfriend along to my friends birthday gathering? I don't want her to feel like I'm going to focus more on my boyfriend..

What should I say?

I also would need to ask her if my boyfriend can stay at her place too after we go to the bar..

[fauchelevent]

If there's absolutely no way you can do both, I would go with your friends'. Not only is she your best friend but it's also her 21st birthday which is a pretty big deal, right? Your boyfriend already had his 21st, so celebrating her landmark is more important than a 22nd birthday. You could ask to invite him too but it might make her feel like you're not focusing on her, so you'd need to explain the situation really well. Could he not come visit the next week?

[ambertaylor]

Friends before men! Girl code but I do see your dilemma. Focus on your girls birthday then see your man the following weekend or the next day, whatever is more possible. But your friend will always be there and you'll regret missing her big event somewhere down the line.