My boyfriend is making me choose between my best friend and him. What do I do?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have had a big fight recently from this problem. my best friend has a boyfriend who is friendly with my boyfriend. My friend told her boyfriend a while ago that my number of people I've been with is 8, and that she thought I went off with this other guy a while back. Neither of these are true. My boyfriend got very angry when my friends boyfriend told him this because he thought I was lying to him. When we sorted it out and revealed it wansnt true, my boyfriend was angry at my best friend for making it up. He now think she I shouldn't talk to her again for this and I have to choose between him and her. I love both of them and want them both in my life and I don't know what to say or do to fix this? He said he isn't gone if I still want to be her friend

[truthbeknown]

Like others are kind of saying, he doesn't see your friend as someone who is worthy to be in your life because of the drama she has caused. It is pretty low of her to make stuff up like that and a good friend would never do that. Ultimately, at the end of the day, it is your boyfriend you spend your life with, cuddle up to at night, have sex with, get married to and have a family with, not your friend. Therefore your boyfriend should always rank higher than even your best friend. Right now, you should be showing that he means more to you than she does. I don't think you have to cut her out of your life. I think just a cool down period is needed and things can return to normal.

[Nostradamus]

"He said he isn't gone if I still want to be her friend". So, do you have the option of keeping your best friend and him, or will he break up with you if you choose to keep your best friend? I'm slightly confused. Why would your friend make that up? Did she want to get you into trouble with your boyfriend? Sounds like some friend to me. But anyway, if you truly think she's a good friend after all, the choice is already made: the one that threatens to leave will leave; you won't break up with anybody, so you can have a clean conscience.

[Asker]

Sorry I meant to say he I is gone if I'm still her friend

[Asker]

I don't think she wanted me in trouble but raised my number so hers wouldn't t look so bad

[Nostradamus]

So your friend was asked about her past, and she brought you into it so as to look better in her boyfriend's eyes? If that's the case, it's a very lousy move by her, but I guess I can understand it. Well, like I said, the easiest way out of it is to tell your boyfriend you are not going to break up with anybody: if he leaves, it's his choice, at least you won't be dumping your friend just because somebody else wants her out of the picture.

[Anonymous]

And you don't see the guy getting mad about a fucking number a red flag? The fact that she is lying also indicates she not your friend. Your boyfriend is immature. Drop the so called friend. There are people who are honest and trustworthy and good to their friends out there you don't need toxic people in your life. If you boyfriend gives you another red flag you need to decide if you're willing tolerate it or drop him before it becomes more serious.

[Asker]

Yea the number has been a big problem in our relationship. Because his is 0. And he doesn't like my past. He has realised most girls are the same but he has cause lots of arguments over this and made me feel shameful for my past

[Asker]

His was 0 before we met

[Opinion Owner]

So? He shouldn't make you feel bad about what you have done. His is not a higher being that is better than u. I feel it isn't the number it would be something else.

[Elastephen]

Be careful of the decision you end up making. Partners that ask their SO to pick between him/her or their friends are control freaks. This usually happens if the said friends can spot their bullcrap then they want that person gone.

[Chanel1981]

Sisters before misters, if you are truly close friends let him go and talk it out with her. Have you spoken to her about this directory?

[Asker]

NO I haven't talked to her yet I was thinking of letting my boyfriend cool down and maybe say he never has to see her but I still want to

[Chanel1981]

If she is truly your friend I think you owe it to her to explain the situation. Communication is key in any situation. Best of luck

[R2REAPER22]

Oke, i got it

lets see
your boyfriends is mad at your best friend
best thing is to got to a cafe and talk it out
I don't know how your boyfriend is or your best friend
so like if they are both old let them become great friend
bc she is your best friend and has a boyfriend you should not care about her taking away your boyfriend but as i said best thing to do if they mad go talk it out ik they may not in the mood for it but it really depends of how old they are
if they above 14-15 it could work and if not i guess u should choose who you like better. ik how he is feeling but still he should not say thing like that
its your life girl so you choose.

[MazeOfLove]

From a relationship coaching lens: Regardless of circumstance, don't ever stay with someone who gives you an ultimatum. It sets the wrong, controlling tone for the relationship.

Now, I do wonder why you'd want to stay with a best friend who spread that?

[ObedientMalee]

1) Why are you friends with someone who makes stuff up?
2) Why is she talking about you in a bad way behind your back?

Is that a type of friend you want?

In normal circumstances i'd say that he shouldn't have asked you to pick but she doesn't seem like a good friend.

[Asker]

i dont know what to say to her. He shouldn't ask me to pick between them because I wouldn't like to spend time iwotj them both

[Exterminatore]

I don't tolerate any ultimatums from a girl I'm dating. If I'm issued an ultimatum color me gone.

From what you stated this guy sounds like a dousche bag. Drop him.

Bfs come and go, but true friends always stay. Bros before hos, or in this case gal pals right?

[Exterminatore]

One more thing. Why did your friend say that? Was she just trying to get a rise out of him or was this intentionally telling a lie to make you look bad and interfere with your relationship. If it's the later, dump your friend on her ass and stay with your boyfriend.

[Asker]

I don't know why she's lied I don't think it was to try make me look bad. I think she said it to her boyfriend so her past wouldn't look so bad. I don't think she realised it wouldn't interfere with my relationship

[sadaf_bin_ahmed]

Stick to your best friend in this case. She knows a whole lot story about you and blabbed being in friendship, imagine what else would she spread if you're not friends anymore.
And you're a woman, you can get back with your man in no time. Chill :D

[Kuraj]

I understand him completely.
And why exactly do you still love someone who has clearly been lying about you behind your back?

[Asker]

She said she wasn't sure. I don't know what to believe. I want to believe her but I can't

[ThornCL]

Your friend isn't a very good friend then. I'd say stay with your boyfriend, but tell him no more ultimatums. They do more harm then good.

[Anonymous]

She doesn't sound like a good friend... in this case, I'd dump her.

[Dim1213]

Well wait for it to blow over or side with your best friend. Never chooses guys over best friends.

[willwhitez]

He's saying choose who is more important to you decide which you want in your life

[lord_chilled]

Your boyfriend may have a point. That girl seems to be a troublemaker

[Baldy1967]

Tell him that you tossed a coin and bad luck he lost, and your breaking up. Sounds ridiculous doesn't it but its no where near as cold hearted as what he's asking you to do.

[Unit1]

You choose your best friend... because no true friend makes you choose like that. Mark my words!

[Unit1]

OK, after actually reading the description - ditch them both.
Despite your boyfriend wanting to preserve you from your fake friend, that ultimatum is still unhealthy.

They aren't your friends. They are backstabbers. Clean the house now.

[Anonymous]

Just continue fucking them both while ignoring the situation. It'll go away on it's own.

[lil_Wítch]

A real friend wouldn't lie to you.

[Asker]

That's true. She said to me that she wasn't sure was my number was and said 7/8 even tho that wasn't true. Maybe she wasn't sure? She thought I did stuff with a guy and I didn't. She wasn't sure but said it to her boyfriend. It's just hard for me to block her out of my life forever but I want to make the right decision

[lil_Wítch]

She's talking bad about you behind your back.

[jitender2312]

choose your best friend

[Anonymous]

Wow what a friend spreading lies about you

[Anonymous]

chose whomever you love the most

[Asker]

That's so hard I have been friend with Thisbe girl for 7 years but I love my boyfriend