I have to pick between my friends and my boyfriend. What do I do?

[Anonymous]

I have to pick between my boyfriend or my friends. My boyfriend lives overseas and is a little older. I however am just finishing high school and applying for universities. He wants me to move to him. I'm happy to do that. But it is difficult to get citizenship where he is. I also don't have the type of money to attend the universities there. I was thinking of attending university of where I am from and visiting him on all my breaks. And he'll be able to see me whenever he would like. I'll visit him all the time. However, he doesn't want me away from him. The longest he wants to be apart after I visit him is three months. And even then, it is really pulling the string for that long. I'm at a loss. I love this man. But it is so difficult to get citizenship there or be sponsored by a job because I don't have a degree. My friends and I are planning to move away from family so we can attend university together. I'm really stuck and don't know what to do. I love him with all my heart. Please help.

[WindAtMyBack]

Pros:
You love him

Cons:
Everything else

My very strong advice is to not rush into this. If you are serious about this, take your time, make very very sure he is right for you, check into the legalities (there is a lot more to it than citizenship), and get your finances in a better place.

Go to university while you can. He is rushing you into doing something that is probably not in your best interests.

Why can't he move to where you are? This whole thing sounds so one-sided. He wants you to sacrifice everything, but doesn't seem to be sacrificing anything himself.

You are sacrificing too much. Don't rush into something you may regret the rest of your life. Try to put your emotions to the side for a while and think about this as rationally as you can. Don't believe the saying that "love conquers all". It might sound romantic, but it's not true. Any good relationship must have some good and take. It can't be one-sided. Any good relationship has a practical side out of necessity. In other words it's not just about love, so you MUST consider the practical aspects of this.

Then there is always the legal issue. You say it's hard to get citizenship where he lives. What about permanent residency status? If you can't gain legal status, then you have no choice, you can't do it. You can't even think seriously about this until you KNOW how this will work legally.

Stop letting him call all the shots. If you ever got in a more serious relationship with him or got married, then this will likely get worse. This relationship is far too one-sided. You are young and starry eyed. I think you are letting that get in the way of sound reasoning.

Pull yourself from the brink and think about what you are doing.

[Wise4myage]

Stay where you are and get yourself an education you can afford.

[LazerBean]

Don't make any life changes for someone who is just a boyfriend.