Who says you have to choose just one? Why can't you have both, in this modern age of advanced sexuality, of open mindedness, of open relationships, of interracial marriages, understanding and caring partners?
You've got to talk clearly with them, by having them f2f, get them together, invite max and John individually by speaking at a separate time with each... tell them that this meeting is important for you to be able to make a good, honest, logical and sensible choice to move on with your life, leaving no regrets.
Be careful to choose a public place when they are either scared of someone or something and won't get into an argument or a fight, like the waiting room of a police station.
After they've arrived and you three begin discussion, you tell them you are in control of this meeting, you get to decide when to START/END/RESCHEDULE/POSTPONE/CONTINUE/DISCONTINUE this meeting, no one leaves or walks away or stops talking, if they disobey you, they are disrespecting you and choosing to leave you forever. Advise this as clearly as possible. And if they both do not shut up when you tell them to, and it makes you walk away, then good riddance, you don't deserve people like that in your life.
Tell them honestly what you feel for both of them face to face in front of the other, confront your fears and make your courage come from within, being with either of them is not so important as for you to have control of your life and ensure your own safety and happiness of your own life.
Tell them both that they're going to have to share you, you can't cut people off from you life when you care for them for someone else, and if someone wants you to get rid of another person in your life, you shouldn't accept it, as it shows that the other person want to alienate you and abuse you.
Get your head in the clear by digging into their minds, Or you could simply have a farewell dinner before leaving both of them to find someone more deserving of you by Arranging to have a private 3some party with just three of you, you tie both of them up to chairs facing each other, no blindfolds and you make max watch you have sex with John first and do vice versa.
It'll definitely make things absolutely clearer and bring you face to face with reality and introduce you to your actual real inner self. You'll have a better perspective of what your decision is going to be, who you are and which of them is worthy of you.
I’m kind of confused lol. So he made you choose between him and your bestfriend. Did you have feelings for your best friend? If you did, I can understand having to “choose” because I would not want to continue a relationship with someone who has feelings for another person. If you have feelings for someone else while you’re in a relationship, you might as well break up or cut contact with the bestfriend.
John my boyfriend doesn’t like max because max was trying to butt in the relationship. This was a romantic choice.. although not sure if it was the right one?
if my best friend made me choose... he/she would lose me as a friend
if my girlfriend made me choose... she would lose me as a boyfriend
the best thing here is that your friend seems to be very understanding of the situation, and they're not quitting on you... if that's the case then that's just great, what a true friend would do
You’re right. Max is a good person. But my boyfriend doesn’t have opposite sex friends. And I’m not sure I made the best decision, max still wants to be friends even though he has feelings for me
well... if you think about it, this decision brings a temporary commitment
if your boyfriend asked you to drop your friends then yes, that's not a good precedent... because it would imply that your boyfriend is either insecure, controlling or both, and he does not trust you first, so he "needs to be sure you avoid other men"
if this right for you or not, that's up to you, and for you to realize eventually... it might work for you or maybe it doesn't work... maybe your boyfriend will try to control you even more or dictate other aspects of your life, for example how you dress... or what do you do on your own time, who knows
but your friend is giving you that time and space, and make things easier for now...
although, that "has feelings for me" might be possibly problematic, or maybe you're over that already
Your best "friend" was almost your lover? You were emotionally cheating on your boyfriend. Your friend would always be a problem in any relationship you have because he wants you. Most guy "friends" are trying to get with you so you either get to have a good, happy, exclusive relationship WITHOUT guy friends, or you become a cheater where no good guy would want you. It is your decision how you live your life, but you are also the one that has to live with the consequences.
Hold up. No You don't have to choose. That's a red flag, ESPECIALLY if it was your boyfriend who said you have to choose. Remember abusive people tend to manipulate others to cut off their friends to keep them dependant on the abuser.
So got names mixed up, but same thing will still happen. You chose to dump a friend youve known 10 years for a controlling boyfriend who will either get more controlling and abusive, dump you or both. Then you'll have no boyfriend AND no friend. Good luck
Max and I agreed to stay friends I did not loose him. I didn’t choose him romantically is all. You fail to understand key concepts or grasp basic knowledge but whatever you’re a troll. And trolls are short and green and live under bridges, like hobos.
Yeah yeah, you wait and see. No troll, just telling you, he stuck by you because he likes you, you now turned him down, he'll go elsewhere, good for him.
Seems like either your bestie is trying to manipulate you so you have doubts and leave your boyfriend for him or we on here are missing something and he's genuinely concerned about you and this guy. Maybe things moved fast? Not sure
Damn that was my best friend.:. But he was trying to butt in on the relationship.. and apologized. I almost cheated... my boyfriend called my crying because I knew I had feelings for my best friend too
See it’s difficult. I have my whole life until I met my boyfriend written out... I knew my bestfriend for 10 years. We were just friends and kissed and I said love you. So I think he read my life story and he said love you always. Like what is this?
Max is my guy best friend and we were into each other the last 6 months. On October 9th 2021 we kissed for the first time after 10 years of being friends. He never asked me out though. My girl best friend Sarah set me up with her brother but didn’t think it would go any where. John and I had our first date New Year’s Eve and it was just so extravagant he took me on the gateway clipper we started dating. Max unfollows me on everything after this then comes back and tries to get me to go to him. But John called me crying after this and saying how embarrassed he was and as a man this hurt him. And then I deleted max off of everything and get this response
I think both guys are dumb. Both are being selfish. Neither are thinking about you, but about themselves. Both want you for themselves. I don't understand why is Max coming back to you when you already broke his trust by choosing another guy over him. You are also an interesting case where you've let your girl friend force her brother onto you, was swooned by money and pretty much left, some people would say, true love.
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