My girlfriend isn't who I thought she was?

[FrankDiamond]

So my girlfriend and I have been together for a year and a half. I love her, I do, but the longer we're together the more I find out that the things she said we had in common we actually don't. She lied about our favourite types of music, films and other basic interests you have with someone when you get to know them. I'm starting to realise that were not actually a good fit for each other and I'm starting to have thoughts of breaking up. I've never broken up with someone before and the more I think about doing it the more I feel like an asshole. I don't know what to do because I know she depends on me and is way more into me than I her. I need some advice on what I should do be it giving it more time or just pulling the plug. Anyone with experience in this please share your thoughts! Thank you in advance.

[Sabsies]

Just because two people have different interests, it doesn't mean they can't be together. It just comes down to how you deal with them or really how big of a deal they are. If you really think you can't be with her anymore, don't. You're doing yourself and her a huge injustice. You can be friends and support her and it's horribly unfair to stay with someone out of guilt. Just let her go and allow her to find someone else she's more compatible with, in turn allowing you to do the same.

[dogbert444]

I won't write my own opinion. You have said it all.

[Sabsies]

Haha, thanks. I forgot to mention that a person's hobbies and interests don't necessarily have an impact on their personality, so she very well could still be the same person, just with different interests. But, maybe I'm going too far now haha :P

[dogbert444]

No, you are right. Peoples hobbies and interests do change. Still the same people, though. Sometimes, it is better to like different things. Otherwise life can become a competition.

[Sabsies]

And having different interests and hobbies gives you more exposure to different things to expand on your own interests and hobbies.

[dogbert444]

Very true again.

[FrankDiamond]

It's not just that. obviously two people can be very happy with each other and have a healthy and happy relationship. The thing that gets me is she's not being her own person and rather pretending to be someone she isn't in order to be loved or to stay in the relationship. I agree with some things you have said however

[SmartButBroke]

In addition to this, too... my thinking is if the dude breaks up with her, it needs to be because she lied to him a LOT, apparently, and he's not that into her... NOT because they don't like the same things. I mean... it's funny, I just answered another question about compatibility and common interests saying it kills me how people emphasize that over values. I mean, seriously...[weighing] lying... common interests... lying... common interests... oh, let me dump you because we don't have the same music in common. I mean, WTF?

I know he might not mean it that way, but still, lol... it can be interpreted that way.

[Sabsies]

So is she lying about more than just what she likes, or do you mean she just does stuff so you'll be more attracted to her? In any case, just call her out on what she's doing and tell her that she needs to be honest and to just be herself. You might as well come clean about how you feel right now too because it's pretty important. It might make her realise how her behaviour is effecting you and change.

[dogbert444]

Does she actually love YOU? Is she a good gf? You could do a lot worse by walking away.

Your call...

[GingerSnap111]

you can't put yourself in a bad relationship because you're too afraid to break up with her. the longer you wait, the more it's gonna hurt her. just say and get it over with.

[Anonymous]

Explain how you feel and end the relationship. She shall live, I swear.

[FrankDiamond]

Thanks for your input! I appreciate it.