My girlfriend changed into a completely different person and dumped me?

[Anonymous]

I dated Caitlin for about 2 years. We were together and we were happy. When we first met she was insecure about herself because she was overweight, about 210 lbs, but I let it go because she was sweet, kind, and seemed intelligent.

After we had been dating a few months she started dieting and joined a gym, and lost all the weight. Now instead of being the 210 lb girl she used to be, she's a 120 lb goddess. At least, physically speaking. She's become quite unbearable to be around due to all the attention she's getting from guys now and the effect it's having on her ego.

Last month she dumped me for a guy who's built like a professional athlete with a movie star face who probably wouldn't even have looked at her before she lost the weight. I treated her like a queen for 2 years despite how she looked and then she turns around and dumps me for this guy who wouldn't have given her the time of day before? What the hell? Where is the sweet, intelligent, caring girl I fell for 2 years ago?

This isn't so much as a question as a rant, but I'm going to close it with a question. WHAT THE FUCK?

[Anonymous]

Had a similar story: Dated a girl when she was an undergrad, who had little (no) confidence in herself. I mean she was an academic champ, captain of her swim team, and had serious body confidence issues. I made her feel confident, sexy, and desirable - and then she started grad school. Oh, her parents seriously disliked me (I was partly at fault for this - full disclosure)

Once there (we were in a long distance relationship at that point) and she kept having affairs, trying to "trade up". The guys in her class used her and spit her out. I kept forgiving her. I finally had enough and told her to either get serious about us, stand up to her parents, and for us to move forward or to take a walk. She thought it over, and told me she was ready for that kind of commitment. This was during a visit at Thanksgiving.

I told my parents (her biggest cheerleaders and who treated her like a daughter) who told our family. This was after almost 3 years of relationship. My parents told their friends, family, and we planned on a spring engagement.

She came to visit at New Years (5 weeks later). She picked fights, pitted one family member against the other, and (I found out later) gave her NEW BOYFRIEND my MOTHER's phone number (she he'd feel better and secure). At one point, when he called my mother's house, my 8 year old sister picked up the phone - and at 8 years old, because it was so obvious, figured out what the story was. She went to my mother in tears.

Sure - we broke up - and that hurt, but she went out of her way to hurt my family and humiliate my parents. She pushed my buttons, manipulated me, used our friends, and treated my family like used tissue paper.

Brother - I know your pain - truly I do.

I am now married to a WONDERFUL woman. It took a few years to get my path in life set straight, and I certainly look back in disbelief in how stupid I was - but in the end I can concentrate on my past, or on my future. I'm picking my future. 7 months ago my wife and I bought a house, we've got 2 wonderful dogs, and in August we'll have been married 5 years. My wife is kind, she's giving, she's considerate, she's honest and I honestly enjoy her company.

I know you're feeling burned now - but it's better than finding out later bro. Best wishes.

[faberfan]

We can't hide our true colors. If this is who she is as a person, would you have rather married her and then see her true side? I guess it just took some weight loss to see her true side, a conceited using bitch. Which may be harsh, but it seems true.

You gave her the attention she wanted and longed for and she felt happy. You motivated her to look better for you, but along the way she decided she wanted something else. Maybe she wanted to date other guys purely because she hadn't had many partners do to her weight?

Whatever her reason is, she showed you her true, ugly side. I am sorry you spent 2 years with someone who would do this to you. I can imagine you feel enraged and betrayed, and it is best to just try and forget about her, which is impossible I know.

[Asker]

Enraged and betrayed is only the beginning of it. I really do feel like I wasted 2 years of my life and I can't understand how someone could turn their back on someone who was willing to care for them and be there for them when not many others would.

[faberfan]

Yea, I know enraged is only a slight truth, as the feeling is probably growing with each thought about her. I would say hatred and revenge is flowing through you, and I have been there my friend. I am still there. I could tell you she wasn't the one for you, but that is obvious. We never know who is right for us until they show us they are or aren't. I don't understand how people can be like that either, as my ex was cherished by me and she left me for her ex only 3 months ago.

[tami5]

=() WOW! man that sucks ass! usually in a girls life there's usually a point when they start to feel good about themselves, which tends to be when they get attention from guys, and they let it get to their heads and after being hurt a number of times they look for nice guys. well I'm assuming for your girlfriend that she was always fat so she never went through that so maybe now is her time. you definently should NOT wait for her cause you seem like a VERY nice guy but she just has to go through that stage and after shell realize that she made a huge mistake.

i am so sry tho. you are so nice there is definently a girl out there for you.

[jaylow]

Sounds like you wasted those two years on someone who didn't deserve you. Best moving on and forgeting all about her find a nice girl. The thing about this is she will wake up one day and realise what she's done and she will either try come back to you or she'll regret it the rest of her life. Either way don't ever take her back and remember not all girls are like that.

[swthrt1231]

Just now that she was not the person you thought she was. so just forget her (easier said than done) and find someone who respects you as the person you are.

[Anonymous]

I realize that this may be an old post, but I want to help people: when this first happened to me I too googled "my girlfriend's personality has changed" For a couple of months.
If you have experienced a sudden or gradual but noticable change in your partner's personality, and you will know because you will feel it in your gut, your heart, that something is wrong, just plain wrong with the picture, you can do no better than googling the following:

COVERT NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER

With all my love and compassion for your sorrow,
~sr

[ncstrike]

dude that's f***ed up. these things happen like I'm a good person and me looking at my self I think I'm not bad looking but I don't think girls think the same way and I guess if I did I would just be a dick to not much you can do as long as you know she is a selfish bitch then don't even go around her

[AJtogo]

Looks like she discovered her confidence in her new looks. The bitch was always beneath the surface of that sweet girl you once knew. I'll join you and all the guys here who answered and hope she gets an STD and rots in hell.

[gag10]

hey that totally sucks and is like every guy's nightmare.as the other posters said, take it like a man, know that you are totally in the right, and seriously, just laugh it off and go party.

we all deserve someone who honestly cares for us.until you find that, just try to do the best you can and enjoy the ride.

much support to you dude, and good luck.

[faberfan]

Take it like a man? This guy was dumped after 2 years. How do you expect him to take it like a man and just move on. Stuff like this isn't just easy to get over. Honestly, that saying makes it worse on people.

[mysteriousstranger]

yeah. my girlfriend use to be an artistic hippie and a free spirit. now she's hanging out with superficial people, and she dumped me for a dude who plans out his wardrobe for each occasion. she use to hate people like the person she's become. to make it worse, I've even changed a little to match, but now I realize who I really was.

All I can say is, spend time by yourself to regain who you were. eventually you'll meet someone that's your type again... I never thought we'd change like this. :(

[Just-A-Random-Guy]

Damn, dude. That's a sad tale, indeed. It really sucks when you see the true side of your girlfriend. We've all been there. Take your licks like a man and move on. Forget her, and if she ever comes crawling back throw it all in her face!

[whichplanetarewefrom]

if you or anyone can unlock the mystery that is a womans mind please for the love of god write a book and make your self rich. by the way if she was like that, to just dump you after getting fitter, she was obviously ALWAYS ugly inside. good luck

[vampirefreako]

she doesn't deserve you. your better off without her. you'll find someone who actually deserves you. that's all I've gotta say.

[slinky2000]

I'm the same mate, my girl completly changed over night and I found out she was dating this local football "hero"

bitch!

[aaronxbexhardcore]

dude what a bitch, that f***in sucks. keep your chin up and go party.

[BottomOfTheOcean]

she got all sexed up and moved on.

[lildessie3]

exactly what the other guy said sorry hun