My boyfriend proposed, I said no, now what?

[Anonymous]

Like can we move past this? What should I say to him when we start speaking again. He's asked for some time alone since I turned him down, which I understand. I'm a bit worried that he's going to break up with me, but that's my problem I guess. Anyways, if you have any tips or words of advice I would appreciate it. Thanks.

[mermaid175]

if you want this to continue you need clear, slid reasoning as to why you said no was because of you and not because of him. the minute you ask him to change is the minute you lose him for good.
he will ask for a timeline of when you will be ready, and if you can't see yourself being ready by a reasonable amount of time then set him free to find his happiness and so you can find your own

[Anonymous]

You're screwed. Don't be surprised if he breaks with you. His heart is probably in a million pieces rn and I don't think he'll see you the same way again.
You can try texting him and explaining the reasons why you said no, but also try and reassure him that you love him and want to be with him.

[Wonderer89]

Is it really something you can come back from? I personally couldn't.
I'd just give him some time. After a day or two send him a text that you're thinking of him but leave it at that without pressuring him to deal with more.

[madhatters4]

i guess the first thing i would do is tell him why you said no and explain it thoroughly.

is that you don't want to marry him OR aren't ready to marry him now? based on that answer that's how your conversation with him should sort of go

[Asker]

Ok. That makes sense.

[madhatters4]

like if you want to marry him but are not ready. then you can just say you aren't ready yet and maybe give him a timeline for when you may be ready and explain that you love him and want to be with him and hope he is willing to be patient

if you don't want to marry him then you have to find some way to convey that. then it's on him to decide if he is ok being in a relationship where marriage isn't a consideration

[madhatters4]

thanks for MHO

[torken]

Well, personally I wouldn't see any way back from that, unless you had a pretty good reason to say no.
If you don't see marriage with him, and he does, thats kinda an issue right?

[Asker]

I'm not sure if I want to marry him yet, that's all. I'm not really saying no, just "not right now".

[torken]

how long into the relationship are yall?

[Asker]

2 years

[torken]

I can't imagine it would get much better, right? 2 years is a long time

[Asker]

It's not that long.

[torken]

thats what she said :(

[BornIntoThis]

Then tell him exactly that. "No." and "I don't know about later, but not now" are two very different answers.

[Belgie]

You could move past it if he was mature enough to think that a no now, didn't necessarily mean a no a year from now.

But if you meant no, never... then you probably can't.