I accused my boyfriend of cheating and he said this to me?

[Anonymous]

This morning i checked my bf's fb and i saw that he's recently friends with this girl overseas
Im not sure if he added her or she added him
Usually his fb friends contains people that he knows
So i called him straight away and said "are u cheating? Do u have another girl?"
And then he said "what? No.. why?"
And i replied "coz i think u added a girl on fb"
And he said "which girl? I didn't add any girl. I have girls on my fb but i didn't add any girl?"
Then i said "are u sure u dont have any other girl?"
And he said "omg.. seriously babe.. look i dont have any other girl. If i did, i wouldn't be with you. I would dump you. I would be having sex with her and not with you.. sorry to say that but you made me say it.. and i would be spending time with her instead of you.. i would be calling her everyday instead of you.. if you are still doubting, you can check my messages, facebook messenger, evrything on my phone.. you know all my passwords to my phone and laptop. Geez"
Do u think what my boyfriend is saying is legit?
Im 23 and he's 28
We have been together 1 year and 2 months
My ex cheated on me and i know i still have trust issues but that whole facebook thing with him got me suss so i confronted him
Or am i just being a paranoid bitch?

Wtf.. you're being paranoid! He seems legit

you're right about being paranoid.. it seems suss.. he doesn't seem legit

[Missdent]

I know how you feel because I felt the same way when I was still with my ex boyfriend. I used to check his phone when it rings, check his facebook when someone chatted and tell him that he's flirting with a girl when he added some girls on fb. So he stopped adding girls even if they're his co worker because he was scared that i will get mad. I have his facebook acct logged into my phone as well and he got suffocated by it. I mean anyone will. It always started a fight just because I always think that he will cheat on me bec of past experience but to tell you this, HE IS WITH YOU BEC HE LOVES YOU. HE LET YOU KNOW HIS PASSWORDS BECAUSE HE HAS NOTHING TO HIDE. I know it's hard to just say oh okay i'll trust him it's just a newly added friend on facebook, but you have to try hun. I just realized this by now but adding someone on fb doesn't mean that he likes her.

[Belgie]

Just a guess - he dumped you?

[Missdent]

@Belgie No. i broke up with him because i we always fought due to my insecurities but he still wanna make things work and now he's mad at me

[Belgie]

That makes no sense. You know you fought because of YOUR insecurities, he wants to make things work, so you dump him?

If true, that's the most fucked up self-sabotaging I've seen... this year?

[Missdent]

@Belgie there are some things in life that no matter how hard you try it will never work out. We fought a lot of times, we are both getting stressed. Our relationship isn't healthy anymore that's why i broke up with him.

[AzureGirl]

You need to cool down and learn to trust your boyfriend more. Even if he did friend her, she's from overseas. It's not like he's going to hop onto the next plane to go hook up with her or something. And for all you know it could be someone he knows from school or a job or something who moved.

[Asker]

Yeh true.. I don't know i just started thinking they are talking and flirtng and all.. coz my ex used to start friending a lot of girls on fb and then caught him cheating so i thought my boyfriend was doing same thing..

[AzureGirl]

You have to remember that your boyfriend is not your ex.

[laurenbby]

honestly i'm paranoid too, and i doubt it's anything. my ex cheated too and when i accused him he'd make up excuses, not try to reassure me. so don't lose your trust for him because if he cares enough to think of reasons why it makes sense to be with you and not her, it shouldn't be cheating.

[Asker]

So my boyfriend was trying to reassure me?

[laurenbby]

yeah by telling you that by doing all of those things there's no way he would be able to even cheat on you without you already knowing.

[Oarmuk]

What I've learned from past experiences is if the trust issues can't be worked out, the relationship won't really work out. Trust is such a huge part of any couple. Checking their phone, Facebook, or etc and jumping to the worst possible thought is going to only drive you two apart. He'll get tired of being accused and feeling like he has to walk on egg shells. You said he knows about your past, just sit down with him, talk everything over in detail and take baby steps to work on your personal trust issues. The last thing you want to do is let a good one get away because of something that happened in the past. The past is suppose to teach us, but on the other hand it's the past for a reason and needs to stay in the past. Everyone is different and needs a fresh chance.

[madhatters4]

well a simple analysis would ask how is he cheating on you with a girl who lives overseas and he's only fb friends with?

i'm not going to say he's cheating and his denial is what a person would say if they weren't cheating and most likely if they were.

i don't think he's cheating. i tend to think that this is more the insecurity from being cheated on in the past playing out... but the content of those messages with this girl would be the ultimate proof

[1truekhaleesi]

This is level 5 crazy. You think he's cheating because he added some girl on Facebook? Where is the logic in that? I add people I don't know all the time. Apologize to your boyfriend and do some trust exercises or whatever because you seem very insecure and have a lack of trust.

[GD247]

You're overreacting.

Unless he's commenting flirty stuff you have no reason to worry

A previous bad relationship isn't an excuse to not trust. Girl let go of the past and learn from it. But not trusting or being paranoid in a relationship isn't healthy. Be smart but not paranoid.

[oliboyboxer]

Paranoid.. And unnecessarily so.

I was cheated on, doesn't mean that in my relationships after that I suspect my new partners of cheating, especially with someone from abroad.

In my opinion you owe your guy an apology. And need to get over your past, because it will only negatively effect your current relationship.

[This_is_my_username]

He's a awesome dude. Don't lose him because of your self esteem issues. And your cheating suspiciouns.

[DriverSolus]

You are going to have to deal with your trust issues. It's not something easy to overcome. The best thing you can do, if you really like this guy, is explain why you get upset and hope he works with you on it.

[Asker]

Yeh i know i have to overcome it.. its so difficult :( i am trying to trust my boyfriend more and he knows about my past anyay

[Asker]

Anyway*

[Cosytoasty]

Right, so explain to me where his logic is wrong... if he had another girl he would be with her and you would spend less time with him.

[Robsinsf53]

Let me say your boyfriend sounds like me and I've been saying this for a long time. There's no need to ever cheat, break up with the person and have a little respect for that person.

[Anonymous]

You're crazy. Don't use your ex as an excuse. And so what if he added a girl? You're allowed to have friends even when you're in a relationship.

[Izumiblu]

I don't see how you get from there's a girl on his th account to he's cheating. If that's all you've got then you... are in the wrong here.

[Scamps16]

Sounds like you need to work on you before getting in a relationship honestly.

[WildBill6976]

If being friends with someone that you're not in direct contact with counts as cheating... then we're all cheaters...

[Anonymous]

You sound paranoid. Don't let your baggage ruin your relationship

[Chuck332]

Every excuse he gave you as to why you should know he isn't cheating is crap. We will find away to get what we want then lie right to your face thinking we are doing you a favor by not being honest. Take him up on his offer. Check his stuff. Only do it when you choose to, not when he offers. Better yet, check his google account history and apps.

[Asker]

Lmao you fuckin troll. Thats like invading his privacy. I wouldn't want him to check my stuff without my consent. Thats fuckin overboard mate

[Chuck332]

If she truly doubts what he is saying, then if she took him up on his offer only after he has had the chance to delete and hid whatever it is he's hiding would make it pointless. Catch him off guard. If your looking to find something you want to have it all, not just the bits and pieces he has willingly handed over.

[Chuck332]

Usually someone's gut feeling is usually the right feeling. Gotta go with it

[fauchelevent]

You definitely seem paranoid.

[thisguy24]

I think you are acting a level 5 craziness

[Asker]

How am i acting crazy? I was just abit paranoid coz of what happened in my past.

[thisguy24]

But it's a random girl overseas. Unless your boyfriend travels internationally how will it happen for him to cheat. Your boyfriend made very valid and concise points

[Asker]

Why would he accept her tho? And no he hardly travels overseas

[thisguy24]

Maybe she is a friend of a friend, or maybe they both like watching manatees. I don't know. It's just Facebook, not the end of the world. What you both have together physically, mentally, and emotionally is all that matters

[alice55]

Wtf.. you're being paranoid! He seems legit

[boochie0]

Paranoid