My boyfriend rated me a seven on a scale of ten?

Question

So I was sitting in the school cafeteria and this classmate of mine passes by when my boyfriend who was sitting besides me told me that she was a nine on the scale of ten. Then he turns around at me and tells me I am probably a 6 or a seven at most if I lose some weight (I am 5"2 and weight a 100 pounds but I have quite some belly fat that can be seen in the shirt). That really hurt me. I usually don't like comparison between two women but now I feel like I am not good enough. When I tell him he just laughs it off saying he was trying to make me jealous but he does this on several occasions where he compares me to other women. What should I do?
(I added the poll option by mistake)

Starshine85 · Accepted Answer

That's must feel awful. That is borderline underweight. I was recently rating women for a study and I thought to myself 'this woman is really pretty, definitely prettier than most and I rate her 7or8 out of 10? I ordinarily don't rate people but 10/10 just doesn't really happen in my mind and 9 out of 10 has to be pretty out of this world. 8 out of 10 is pretty amazing. I don't really like this culture wear rating people seems to be the thing. I think you can do better than him and you will do better than him. Saying this, he did choose you over other girls. I think this wasn't meant for your ears and sometimes it's better if we don't hear everything that people say about us. We just need to find inner confidence. Find some features of your body and your face that you DO like and focus on those. Plus remember it's about personality too. If you have other features like a great sense of humour or fun to be around that's more important in the end. It might not be to this guy. I don't know.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Don't worry about it! It's a real dick move to do something like that but I honestly think he may have just been trying to make you jealous, because my boyfriend does that to me. I mean what kind of guy would do that deliberately? Anyone can see how mean it comes across if it isn't meant as a joke. He makes it up in the end though, he always tells me nice things and I know he means them, and he tells me he was just teasing. Just make sure you're with a guy who you know wants to build you up too, who really does like you, because if he actually doesn't care if he makes you insecure and doesn't show his love, it's an unhealthy relationship!

Stille · Accepted Answer

If you asked him he is being honest. If he just says it over and over he is a jerk or dosn't understand how much hurt he is causing. If it is the latter guilt trip him and be passive aggressive. Make him semi miserable, once he gets passed off or asks you what's wrong tell him thats how you feel when he compares u to other women. If he is still a jerk afterwards I'm sorry to tell you he didn't value you and you need to dump him, because he is not worth of you. No woman deserves that.

PasticheGrizzly · Accepted Answer

Anyone who calls themselves your boyfriend should be aware of your feelings. There's a difference between playfully making a girl jealous and purposely being mean. He's probably indirectly telling you he'd like for you to lose some weight. If him saying how he'd like you to look doesn't hurt your feelings then that's by you. But personally I'd be hurt and feel gross.

VO1D_Entertainment · Accepted Answer

Crazy fucking people! What do I read here: "Dump him!!!" For what? Rating a girl 7 from 10, which is - guess what - objectively GOOD! In a perspective - 5 is average, 6 is above average, 7 is good, 8 is very good, 9 is excellent, 10 is perfect

So calling a girl "good" now warrants a man to be dumped? Holy crap! I never realized that this website has been infested by male feminists!

Back to the point - Original Poster, don't sweat it, you're over-analyzing stuff. And no man finds an insecure and naggy girl attractive. He didn't actually give you a reason to be insecure in the first place, he validated you and you try to translate it as a jab, with the help of the SJW follow-up choir here.
Also a note - your poll is broken. Both votes got no text, only random lines.

senor_bacon · Accepted Answer

You have to look in the mirror and judge for yourself wether or not you could lose some weight.

You might not be fat, you might be average. But losing some weight could take you from average to above average or even hot.

As for him, does he understand how that made you feel? What was his end-game what we're his intentions?

Also, are you open to honest criticism? Are you able to put your feelings aside for a moment to see the point someone is trying to make?

Just some things to think about.

Levin · Answer

Honestly, he's not a good guy.

He's trying to diminish your sense of self so he has more power over you - he's insecure, for whatever reason. When you question him about your legitimate feelings he underplays them and laughs them off in a puerile fashion.

Self respect is about saying you can do better, and not tolerating that kind of thing.

Cmasterson · Answer

What a douche bag first off i'm the same height as you and not 100 lbs but I also don't look fat or anything, commenting on someones weight is ridiculous. I would tell him that he hurt your feelings and the fact that he's your boyfriend it was a dick move.

TadCurious · Answer

Your boyfriend is an inconsiderate jerk. I'm really sorry he disrespected you like that. Only you can decide what to do about it.

SimonHall · Answer

If he truly loves you as a partner he will not compare you in a bad way to others. He's basically taking you for granted.

ThomasMM · Answer

If he is constantly comparing you to other women and rating you lower than them he might not be the one for you. It is normal for a man to look at other women sometimes it allows the man to appreciate the lady he is with much more. Always listen to your intuition and let it guide you.

Cait_Lyn · Answer

Well he either sounds like an idiot, an asshole or someone very out of depth with emotions. If he makes you feel bad he is not the boyfriend for a healthy relationship...
Best of luck and look out for yourself :)

fsu19 · Answer

My girlfriend said I was an 8/10. However, I feel like she undervalued me at the beginning of our relationship. It didn't bother me because I know my true worth. Do you?

Pomegranate139 · Answer

A 7 is not a bad score. But if he is making you feel insecure constantly then I suggest you either tell him to stop or threaten to leave.

ekc8295 · Answer

It's shitty to compare your SO to other people. That's not how you treat someone you supposedly care about.

Pink2000 · Answer

Well if he doesn't like you at the weight you are now , tell him to go find someone else cause you really don't need him.

Anon85 · Answer

It was pretty insensitive but I don't think his intention was to hurt you

Maxemeister · Answer

It would be quite different if you had asked him what you are, but if he did that out of the blue he's quite heartless

Brutal_Honesty · Answer

next time just say "i think you are confusing my rating with the length of your dick, and it's more like 9cm tbh"

Blitzkrieger · Answer

You value honesty and deal with this reality or you ask him to tell you sweet little lies about your pudgy little pooch and be done with it.

Anonymous · Answer

Be jealous, it seems to be your lot in life as a girl.

DrAwesome · Answer

Tell him that his dick is a five.

reptocarl · Answer

Tell him his dick and sex skills are only a five

Ranude2011 · Answer

He may have a point or he is encouraging you

TonyRyanAgain · Answer

Dump him. That's what you do.

UsernameMadness · Answer

Dump him, find a guy who is into you.

Mayu34 · Answer

Tell him that at sex he's a 3 or 4

Triggering · Answer

LMAOO

Humbledman74006 · Answer

He's an asshole

CT_CD · Answer

He's being honest

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