Should I walk away to make him realize he wants to be with me?

[Nadzya]

Me and this guy have been seeing each other now for 10 months or so. We've done a lot of relationship-y stuff together (go on vacations, spend valentines together, plan future vacations, plus all day to day couple stuff) but we are still not "together". I'm getting worried. He told me that he's scared to be with me because every other girlfriend he's had before he saw an "out". As in, if it didn't end up working out, he in some sense knew from the start. He says he's scared because he feels vulnerable around me. He know how much I care for him and don't want to be with anyone else, but he still can't seem to commit to being with me... after all this time. He says that he knows if ever I'd walk away, it would be easy for him to make that decision, to be with me. He says he needs to be scared to loose me... how do I do that? I know walking away is obviously how... but I can't do it because I'm scared he'll figure out he's happier without me.

[Anonymous]

He is just not ready to commit so maybe it is best to just back off a lil. Do less of what you did with him before and don't pressure time with him because its obviously too much for him. he is really askin for some space but don't completely walk away. Just be less around and try focusin on somethin else, If it is meant to be, yall will be but right now chill a bit. I'm not sayin wait around forever for him because guys tend to move at a very slow pace when it comes to getting serious. I would date someone jsut to see if your feelings for him are genuine or not and also it will be a way of not waiting for him while he does his thing cause he may move on and there you are waiting for nothin so since he is sayin yall are not exclusive, you have every right to see others. I know it will be hard because you want him but hon he does not want you the way yo want him now and you'll just be torturing yourself emotionally hopin he'll change.

[Nadzya]

Yeah I suggested a break about 5 days ago. Which right away seemed to help things. But I just can't seem to stick to it.

[Opinion Owner]

You can you just have to just do it accept what is. You need to be able to tell the difference between how you feel and reality.

[Anonymous]

So what if he figures out he's happier without you? If that is true, he is going to figure it out sooner or later. Ten months and you still are not his girlfriend, you never will be at this rate.

I have been through this before and it is not worth it. When a guy wants something, he will find a way to make it his. This usually involves giving you the "girlfriend" title at the smallest amount of pressure that you may see someone else. If he's not doing that, he doesn't really want to be with you. PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT HE DOES, NOT WHAT HE SAYS!

Walk away and find a guy that wants you and doesn't string you along for ten months wondering. Or tell him that you will continue to date him casually, but since you are not in a relationship, you would like to see other people too. If he still doesn't offer you the title, just move on.

[Nadzya]

He acts same way he speaks. That's why its so hard. He's always there for me. Always doing super sweet stuff. I just feel it doesn't add up.

[EmpressTMR]

Hello bella, you haven't mentioned if he is seeing anyone else. If he isn't then don't worry about the title. Just enjoy your time together. Besides, something will come up soon enough to test the strength of your relationship so don't pressure him. You may find you are the one walking away because you find his fear of commitment unappealing.

Besides, I always say if you have to walk out to make someone realize your special then don't go back because they don't deserve you anyway.

[Nadzya]

No he isn't seeing anyone else. It does feel like a real relationship minus the title.

I hope it doesn't come to walking out. Thanks for the advice.