What are the pros and cons of dating a married man?

Question

I'm dating married man and I know it's wrong but I just want to know the pros and cons of dating one? and also 2 weeks ago he told me he loves me and been saying it since do you think he means it?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

The person is cheating on someone for you, which makes you feel more desirable than being with someone who has nothing to lose by being with you.
Married men are likely older men. Older men are supposed to be better at sex.
Plus, secret sex is automatically elevated in terms of how turned on you are. There’s always an element of “we shouldn’t be doing this.”
There is no pressure in the relationship. You are fun. The relationship is fun. There’s no “where is this going” because it is, by definition, not going anywhere. No other kind of relationship has this “defined from the start” freedom to it.
It’s a concrete “fuck you” to the kind of Stepford life everyone is pressuring you to have.
You make him feel desirable, which is something you lose after being in a relationship for a long time, so it’s fun to make someone really happy.
They will compliment the shit out of you because you’re a novelty to them. You have all the things that seem awesome to them, only because they’ve forgotten what it’s like to be young and single.
Their male friends will love you, which is both creepy and fun.
Cons:
If people found out, most of them will hate you for it.
You will almost never be anything to him but someone to fuck.
You have to schedule around their “real” life.
It’s somewhat depressing to meet someone who seems really cool and relatable and then they are like “my wife hasn’t given me a blow job in two years” because that’s your future. The wife loves him, I’m sure she’s not an evil monster, but how does that happen? Am I really that much different that I won’t fall into whatever sleep she has? It’s a glimpse into what your future could be like, and it is not good.
Invariably, their loyalty is to their wife/family so you aren’t even on the top tier of things they care about. Which doesn’t feel great.
You have a moment in your life that you should look at your choices
If they do end up being with you, they will likely trade up from you later
Also
I consider people like you to have no moral compass
There are too many bad things about people like you that I would rather not encourage such behavior and request that you get the fuck out of that situation

Political_dude · Accepted Answer

Why the hell G@G is promoting such questions? Is so called content team out of its mind? Or you people are actually thinking like *those questions will definitely receive negative comments.. lets feature them*?
Show some quality mates.

Ps: I don't claim that my questions are better than this but I definitely know that there are much better questions asked on this site than this one and the recent one

lumos · Accepted Answer

Zero pros. Only cons.
Cons:
He has his cake and eats it too. Selfish.
He'll tell you whatever he can to get you to keep dating him. Even that he loves you.
He's a cheater so by definition he's not trustworthy or boyfriend material. Everything he tells you should be taken with a massive chunk of salt ("I love you" "I want to be with you" "I'm going to leave my wife for you")
He has a wife who's most likely heartbroken because her husband is acting cold and distant towards her because he's with you.
Maybe he even has a family and kids, or is about to have one with his wife. Messy.

You're not entirely to blame for this because he's a grown man and he's capable of making his own decisions. However, I'm not sure how you could be with him and have a healthy conscience at the same time. You're basically enabling him. Even though it would be someone else if it wasn't you, I'm not sure how you could live with knowing that you're helping someone else cheat.

loveisbeautiful · Accepted Answer

It's pretty simple
Con: He's married
Con: You're the other woman
Con: He tells you he loves you but then again he told his wife the same thing and look where that got her
Con: If he has kids you're playing a big role in helping there dad hurt them emotionally and tearing apart the family because, he just can't bother to get a divorce.

Pro: There is none. Not for you, not for him, not for his wife or kids (if he has any) There unfortunately is no positive for anyone because one way or another someone will get hurt and is being hurt now. So, there is no pros.

One day his wife will found out and then life will really be complicated for everyone.

Decemberbaby86 · Accepted Answer

I'm sure he says it to his wife too. Do you think he means it? What makes you think he wouldn't do that to you? There is no pro to dating a married man. He made vows and he's already breaking them. Being 19, you are young and naive. Do yourself a favor, take your dignity and have some self respect and stop talking to him. Or if you must, ask him to get a divorce. If he has any morals, he would be telling you that he needs to take care of his situation before starting anything with you.

Rei02 · Answer

There is a comic book call Broderies by Marjane Satrapi. There they put that being a lover or a mistress is about having fun, happiness, being like love doveys while being married is like hell. However, I can add that despite everything, the one who is going to win is the wife, either there is divorce or not.

Why?, because the real mission a mistress or lover has is to be beautiful, happy and give a lots of fun to the man no matter what, keep happy and joyful appearances, both have to be happy and acting like there are no problems in the world. However, that illusion can be very fragile, and if the illusion is broken or has any kind of crack, then everything goes to hell. To sum up, a relationship with a married man is false.

With the wife, meanwhile, yeah, there can be discussions, arguments, etc., but both spouses know how they are really each other, there is more honesty. Unfortunately, nowadays there are more separations and divorces for some reason.

hellionthesagereborn · Answer

What are the pros and cons? What are the pros? He is cheating on his wife with you, so he is clearly a disloyal piece of shit that has no problem fucking people over and destroying lives so why the fuck you would want to be with him to begin with is bizarre. So that's a con. He is essentially cheating on you with his wife and vice versa so theirs a con. Your destroying at least one persons life if not more if he has children (imagine what they will think of you, the woman that ruined their lives by enabling this piece of shit) so theirs a con. He does not give to fucks about you because of above reasons, so theirs a con. Affairs rarely become long term relationships, so theirs a con. If it does he will cheat on you because, why wouldn't he? Clearly he has no problem with it, theirs a con. Now, for the pros. . . oh yeah, their aren't any. Show some self respect and human decency and stop what your doing.

WalterRadio · Answer

It isn't wrong, it is just different.

If a married (or attached) guy is with another girl, then that means he is not getting everything he needs or wants from his wife/SO. That does not mean he doesn't love her or that he does not value what they do have.

I personally know people (both men and women) who are still married only because they have another sexual partner. Having the the other person is what enables them to stay married.

Polyamory is far more common than people like to admit. In times past, polygamy worked for people, but a long dead Pope declared it illegal. Since then, there have been mistresses.

If you value your independence, being a mistress can be great.

If you want to get married to him and have kids, then you have a problem.

may97 · Answer

There are lot of pros but the only two things you need to know are-
1. If he's unfaithful with her, he can do the same to you.
2. Anything that happens to his family because of his cheating, you have as much of a part to play in that as him... now ask yourself do you really want ro be such a person?

MScifiwriter · Answer

There are no pros. If you know it's wrong, why are you doing it? As it is you're helping to destroy a family. Think about his wife, what if he has children, what if his wife is pregnant?

Any person, man or woman who starts dating a married person, they are essentially only it it for themselves (the person who is the third wheel that it). It doesn't matter if the married person says he or she loves you, he or she should be reserving all their love for the partner they married. If you are a decent person, you will just leave the married man immediately and find someone who is single.

Think of his wife, not about yourself.

pleasestopthis · Answer

The chances that he just wants to have a side chick to have some variety is very high. Of course he's going to say he loves you, that's how he'll get to have sex with you and if you think he loves you, you'll stay.
I wouldn't trust a man who ruins his marriage for another woman.

So, here are the pros and cons.
Pros:
1.- You don't have to be with him everyday 24/7 while he's moody, tired or stressed. That's what his wife do.
2.- You only get to see him when he's romantic, sensual, and enchanting.
3.- You don't have to do housechores for him, because that's what his wife (probably) does.

Cons:

1.- Karma is a bitch. You'll definitely pay the price for being a homewrecker, sooner or later.
2.- You are with a disloyal man who can't be trusted.
3.- He probably won't leave his wife for you. Never.
4.- He probably just wants to have a side chick because that's an ego boost for him.
5.- You'll never be that important to him.

bomotion · Answer

The pros are he has a vested interest in making you happy so you don't tell his wife and he won't likely become a stalker if you leave him.
The cons are he is proven to be an unfaithful liar, is likely to be a shitstorm if you get pregnant, his spending on you has to be explainable to his wife.
Whether he means it or not shouldn't even be a concern for you since he probably told his wife he loves her to, and meant it.

Anonymous · Answer

Why are you seeing a married dude? He's already wrong to lead you on and say shit like he "loves" you. If he's legit about it, either he's got problems with his own wife and they might divorce soon, but it's still wrong, or he could be just faking it and trying to cheat on his wife to boost his own ego and take advantage of you. Either way stay away, tell him to only come back to you when he's no longer married and that if he's going through a divorce, it has to be finalized first before you would see him. Otherwise, I mean, there are risks, if you or him never get caught, sure, whatever. But if either or both of you got caught, it can get real ugly, since you don't know what kind of a person his wife really is or can be. You'd only be putting your own life and health at risk.

Anon-ymous1 · Answer

I think it's a more complex situation than some people here are saying, like "you're just a side piece" or some crap like that. He can love his wife, and also love you. This isn't that hard to understand; people are complicated and so are feelings, and sometimes people develop feelings for more than one person. Like, all the freaking time. It's normal.

Now, if you are somehow seeing yourself with some kind of future with him, then that is unlikely to happen. It DOES sometimes happen that a guy will leave his wife for another girl he meets, but it is not the norm. If that is what you want and expect from him, then just know that it is possible but not at all guaranteed.

potatoisme · Answer

If he loved u he would have gotten a divorce, so please stop fooling yourself. He's cheating on his wife which means he can also cheat on u (which he most likely will do or is already doing).

And pros? There is no such thing as pros in dating a married man

Anonskaterguy · Answer

I dated a married woman back in the day you are just his sex toy while the wife gets all the good stuff. you sit waiting for his text that may never come and your dates typically involve motel room most the time. HE says love because thats how he controls you

iron1414 · Answer

Nene, it may be exciting for you now but do you ever think that you are not being chosen first for Anything? You are the other woman. If his wife needs something she is always going to get the preference. he tells you that he lives you because what's sad is he may... but to him you're not worth splitting up for him.

Miristheiss · Answer

I don't care if he means it. The fact that you are willing to do this and even entertaining the thoughts that he "loves" you and will maybe ruin his marriage/family and leave them for you just shows what type of character you have.

normalice · Answer

I can only guess, based on what are probably best described as 'stereotypes,' but here it goes:

pros:
-better sex
-he's "housebroken," i. e. a gentleman
-isn't nervous about talking to women so he has an aura of confidence
-you could be saving a marriage

cons:
-he will never ever be serious about you, no matter what he says
-he knows how to manipulate women who are inexperienced with being manipulated by men
-you could be ruining a marriage

Carley99 · Answer

I may have cheated in my past and done some really awful things but who am I to ruin a family.
Cons. He doesn't really love you that's what he told his wife and now he's fucking you, you might make there kids lose a stable home even though you might not care, your 19 and your too old for all of that.

ImMackFreeze · Answer

That is cheating and is wrong, you are breaking a eternal vow both made a are breaking apart a family. You would be charged with deceiving the wife, theft of the husband and his loyalty to his wife, and committing adultery.

There are no pros, this is a very terrible thing you are doing and you can stop it by breaking up with him and telling his wife he was cheating. Yes it is still cheating if he dated you, or kissed you or anything. Tell his wife and leave him alone.

Anonymous · Answer

Eww, so he fucks you then goes home and fucks her too? Aren't you a little disgusted by that? What if she's pregnant or they're trying for a baby? No? Doesn't matter to you cause he "loves you"? He loves what you have between your legs but he isn't going to leave his wife for you. You are only 19 and already a home wrecker. Hope you don't end up pregnant cause you definetly won't be able to turn back.

thatguyfromtoronto · Answer

Seriously, if you know it's bad then why do it? Get out of this situation. What if the wife goes after you? Just unnecessary drama, I'm not trying to sound harsh but do you want to be the victim of a love triangle that ends badly? People can be fucked up these days. Just the fact that he's cheating on his wife is disgusting, revolting and shameful.

kitty71 · Answer

There are not one pro of dating a married man period. And all married men said the sme thing that they love you, blah blah blah, that is pure lie!!! He just wants to bang u plain and simple since you are just 19. How can he leaves his wife and his home for you, that you probably are still studying, he will have so financially support you Go meet guys in your age with no kind of attachment or committment to anyone else and it is completely FREE and single.

apple24 · Answer

Hahahaha... not only is it moral wrong it's naive. Look if your going to sleep with him make sure you get paid. That the only pro I can think of. You can't start a family or introduce him as your bf? You can't have his kids? Karma a B. If I were you I would be asking for 20,000$ and then leaving his sad life.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm sorry if I might offend you with my answer but I think you should stop it. The issue is not about his love for you but it is about you, him and his family. Dating him is already a big no because continuing this, you might destroy a family. Dating and having a relationship with him is like cheating and stealing him to his own family. Loving a person isn't bad, but loving the wrong person is bad.

chickenlikkle · Answer

no. he’s married and dating someone else. he’s obviously telling his wife he loves her and since he’s dating you he obviously doesn’t. how can you trust him. more importantly, how can you be dating someone who is married? if you know it’s wrong why do it?

PaulMarrow · Answer

LOL fuck no! He's a pile of human shit and he's using you for side pussy.

vishna · Answer

In general pro -if anyone ever called you slimy, selfish and horrible before, you can look back and know they were right about you con -if you live in NC, she can sue you and you will have to pay her!

Hannah31st · Answer

I sincerely and seriously hate such things. If u ask me, I’d ask u to give up on him. Just think about what his wife would feel if u were her. pls don’t do bad deeds to destroy other ppl’s families. I detest such things the most in this world.

Jaye234 · Answer

Girl, there are no pros to dating a married man.
IF he was done with his marriage he'd divorce his wife and be with you.
You're his side piece. You need to end things before you get pregnant and or broken hearted.

spiderweirdo · Answer

What type of man deceives a woman like that? Him saying he loves you, is not the conversation you need to hear from him... it would make me worry why that the conversation didn't play out like "here are my divorce papers"

Rick912 · Answer

How old is he? If he is much older than you, he is just using you. Have you seen the divorce paper yet? There are a lot of married men who want to have a young sweet thing to fuck. You are probably one of them.

AzureGirl · Answer

Pros: none. Cons: you’ll never get anything out of it. You’re just someone who will open your legs for him when he wants someone other than his wife. He’ll lie to keep you there too.

watisgoingon · Answer

nah he doesn't love you. its lust. he literally just loves your body and your fun parts (tits, pussy and all that). you need to get out of that shit before his wife cuts your throat

Eyes_On_Me · Answer

Pros: None
Cons: Well wtf? You know it's wrong, yet you're doing it. I have no words for you.
He said he loves you? He probably said the same thing to his wife, except he's actually married to his wife.

StupidGodDamnWomen · Answer

Great idea, you can get a better idea of their character through their wives gossip, cause any man who has a woman around, will have no secrets. Especially, if they share a room.

ciitruskiwi · Answer

Chances are he tells his wife he loves her and he's cheating on her. Do you really think he means it?

genericname85 · Answer

guess who's gonna date the next bitch once he's married to you. yeah that's right... he won't suddenly change once he's with you. always consider how your date treats others, cause he won't treat you differently.

stay away from that piece of shit.

Prettygurl12 · Answer

Pro? He'll likely pay for your abortions. Con? You're both pieces of garbage.

BrileyCat · Answer

pros . he's using you cons . you accept being used . being taken advantage of . believing a cheater .

jacquesvol · Answer

Bad idea. Unless there's something terribly wrong between that guy and his wife , he's likely to go back home in the long run.

slatyb · Answer

Who knows? He probably tells his wife he loves her too. You may not even be the only woman he is having an affair with.

Thebruja · Answer

Enjoy your sugar daddy while you are young. At thirty you'll wish those were around 😜

QueenofCups · Answer

This is a really bad idea which will probably end in heartbreak for you.

Jackblue · Answer

Don't buy that for a minute. He will never leave his wife. She might leave him and perhaps then he will want to be with you, but he will cheat on you too. It is in the nature of the cheater.

niDaye · Answer

His wife probably want to kill you. You just got yourself an enemy who really hates you. Not a smart decision. Then is it for love? There is a lot of good men around.

MikeC2020 · Answer

I bet he tells his wife that he loves her too, and yet he is cheating on her with you. I don't think he means it

Anonymous · Answer

Ahh yes, 19. I remember that age. But back to the question - An Extremely Bad Idea. Why you would want to do this it in the first place is beyond me. But very soon you'll find out about both the pros and the cons on your own.

greNader · Answer

Its the mans fault. If you aren't available hell just find someone else... However I would be warry of starting an actual relationship with him

Anonymous · Answer

Pro- His wife gets a few nights off because he is fucking a whore..

cpich7uj · Answer

I don't know, I wouldn't cheat and I also wouldn't date someone who's cheating.

Lumberman53 · Answer

There are only cons I'm not going to give any pros and I suggest you don't get involved with him

hypnotic_og · Answer

no if he's cheating on his wife with you... do you really think he love's you?

Anonymous · Answer

The biggest downside is that it makes you a despicable low life.

RastaMahn · Answer

Pro: You get treated nice and we get some strange pussy. Con: None.

Jok3r21 · Answer

If his wife finds out your f$kd

Anonymous · Answer

This can't end well. Run Now!

LifeInHarmony · Answer

That's cheating, period.

Anonymous · Answer

I think you shouldn't mess with married men.

2opaz · Answer

homewrecker

culinaryqueen · Answer

Not a good idea

Nachowedgie · Answer

Nothing

Anonymous · Answer

no pros only cons

Anonymous · Answer

How old is this guy?

What are the pros and cons of dating a married man?

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