Do you think the longer you stay single, the harder to get in a relationship?

Question

This is one of my shower thoughts. As a man, If i were to remain single for a really long time of period, i get a feeling is going to be harder to get a girl to date. reason is that girls are going to dating someone else already, some are already married, some do want experience men either that they know how dating works or how to work around under the sheets. it maybe also goes the same way for women as well. one of the minor/major things i think off. i just hope im not too late

MusicMayhem · Accepted Answer

Absolutely. I'm 29 and only started dating a few years ago due to having depression and social anxiety before then. To get a second date I have to significantly lower my standards. And even after that they usually left me for not being good at sex. And they'd constantly question why I'd never had a girlfriend before, making me feel like shit. I reckon I've been on about 60 first dates in that time and only 5 have gone to date 2. One was a massive slut, one was super shy and controlled by her parents, one had cerebral palsy and was really insecure and needy, one hasn't kissed a guy before and again was really insecure, and the other one was just a girl I had 2 hookups with that doesn't really count. Oh and she was massively obese. So yeah never was really happy with most of those. I should shall mention I've put f***ing HEAPS of work into my dating life, did a course on attraction and dating so I know a lot, but they won't put up with me thinking I'm too fucked up.

truthbeknown · Accepted Answer

The longer you are single you become automatically socially labeled as someone with a problem, something is wrong with you or for some reason you are defective as a person and no body wants you for a partner. So there is a risk of this if you stay single for too long. Also, dating and having relationships does take experience to do properly. There is a learning curve and many people are just terrible at it without any practice. So purposely staying single can be counter productive in that regard because you may meet a wonderful person one day but have no social skills and may end up ruining any chance with them.

tbaby8533 · Accepted Answer

So I'm a single mom and that already makes it harder today for me personally I do like older men because a lot of men my age don't really Act like an adult at all like I don't mind being with someone who is a smartass goofy funny you know but if you can't be serious at times like in the bedroom, in certain conversations, and aren't able to act like an adult throughout the day but still have your goofy/smartass side its a turn off for me, But to answer your question I think the longer you're single the more perspective you get and it might be harder to get into a relationship so you might lose some confidence to be able to ask a woman out but in the long run I think being single longer helps you being a better relationship later

LittleSally · Accepted Answer

Kind of seems like it...
Although, m thing is - the longer you wait you get to know people, what they're truly like, and you end up having less and less patience for the stupid things a lot of people do and/or say... and you stop excusing idiotic behaviour - hence your pool of eligible people for yourself gets smaller and smaller each passing day.

I think that might be why it's harder to get an SO with time.
People get smarter with experience so they aren't willing to take as much crap as they were when they were younger.

Idada · Accepted Answer

No, I rather be single than involved with someone that I will not be really happy with. When I do meet someone compatible it just flows easily because being single doesn't mean you cut all relationships, you still know how to be a friend, daughter, co-worker, neighbor etc even in your circles you have interactions with the opposite gender whether at work or family. All, it means you have to make the effort and time to invest compassionately with the one you are interested in.

passinby · Answer

Yes it will be harder. But I don't think it will be because it is harder to find a date, that will remain as it is or get easier as we get older. The thing that will be harder is that we will be so used to being single and setting our ways that we will simply no longer be compatible with the idea of a long term SO. I used to play house for a year with an ex and now I really enjoy being alone again; I don't even have a place anymore because I travel all the time and stay in hotels mostly. I have my occasional gfs that want some once in awhile and really that is all I want or need. I think this lifestyle is going to become common. There is never going to be a shortage of willing women.

lyannamormont · Answer

It doesn't get harder because of the length of single time you have spent since your last relationship. It rather gets harder because you age, and your standards gets higher for a potential partner, and you are more inclined to disqualify anyone you meet. And this leaves you single even longer.

rjroy3 · Answer

All depends on how you change over time. In my experience, when I don't give a fuck is when I meet my next girlfriend. Like I'll still see girls here and there, but when I could take it or leave it I'll just meet this amazing girl that makes me reconsider. Plus I think it gets easier as you get older. In general your place in life improves over time. Younger girls tend to be attracted to older guys. Then there's also that whole as girls get closer to 30 the more paranoid they get about not being in a relationship. So those girls are looking too.

But if you're a prick, then it really don't matter how long you're single. It will always be hard. Lol who you are is more important than how long you've been single.

Ljd213 · Answer

I believe the longer you stay single, the more you have to compromise in your boundary if you want to date someone.

Like for an example, 5 or 6 years from now, when you are like my age now, the high potential of women who are very dateable would either have children, have destroyed themselves, became golddiggers, developed personality disorders, or etc. The longer you wait to find a date, the more outside baggage you would have to put up with if you are willing to commit to loving someone.

That is why people say dreamy relationships doesn't exist because if you believe if you keep ditching these various girls with tons of baggage and waiting for the perfect women.. you better keep dreaming buddy!

That is why you have men in their 40s/50s trying to date 18-year-old- 24-year-old women. It's due to most them having a lesser type of baggage than the people around their age. However, they had to compromise their boundaries in dating people who were babies in their 20s or 30s.

whyisitso · Answer

Yeah. I have never been in a relationship and I am almost 24. I don't know if it is harder to get to a relationship, but at least it feels less necessary and maybe a little bit of a challenge. I think it feels like that because you get more picky and picky the longer you are alone. Even though you would crave for a partner, you still feel so comfortable with being alone you aren't ready to risk it just for anyone.

loveisbeautiful · Answer

I don't think being single long is the problem, people are the problem. Most people nowadays have this extensive list of rules, regulations and things they want. Which in turn, makes dating hard. Nobody is open minded or willing to go with their heart, they follow with logic and a list instead. Keep in mind, this is just my opinion and I may very well be wrong.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't know. I know it's been really tough for me. Each time, the time I have been single has gotten longer. I'm looking at a decade next month.

But, a lot of stuff has happened in my life (for a long time) to make it tougher to get into solid relationships. Stuff that makes it tougher already to find relationships, period.

I doubt if it's because I'm getting more desperate each year, or I'm becoming less appealing each year (both are possible, I guess).

Maybe it's getting harder to find single women.

or life is becoming tougher to get out (also true)...

It could be people are busier doing "couples dates" so I'm doing less as the third (or fifth wheel).

Some are suddenly moving out of town, getting new jobs that upend their schedules, getting houses or suddenly moving because of divorce or breakup... My social calender is kind of wonky.

It's a lot of things, not even necessarily relating to who I am (any faults, etc).

SaltyBooze · Answer

not really. what happens is you start stressing over it, and thinking too much over it, and that makes it harder for you to find another partner. if you didn't stress over it, or thought too much about it, it would not make a single diference, and you could actually be enjoying your moments while single.

FatherJack · Answer

If you are male , mostly yes , as per @truthbeknown , you will be viewed with suspicion , or believed to be defective. Most single women = single by choice , a large percentage of single men = single not by choice. Pre -selection plays a part , a man that receives female attention , or is already taken , is much more attractive to a woman in most cases.

Reenal · Answer

My boss is 51, and he has an adopted child. He has never married and feels like he does not need to. He studies for a docterate degree and still attract women around his age.

I feel it is only hard, if you are looking for a relationship. Otherwise, you can attract people at any age.

CubsterShura · Answer

I don't. The more you get into relationships with people, the less you become able to get into a long-term relationship.

Kabluie · Answer

I don't think so, I went a few years after previous breakups that were really serious (year or more). Look at it this way, with the in-between time you can become a smarter, stronger, and even more experienced-in-life person. We are always self-learning, and experiencing new things, think of that as an advantage.

You also won't be bringing in emotional baggage, or thoughts of a recent relationship too.

It's not a bad thing, the sun rises every day.

WhistleForTheChoir · Answer

Yeah, I don't know about the women's side of things, but I think this is true for men, as women like men who have a lot of experience. Women also tend to think if a man is chronically single that there is something wrong or broken with him. And since loneliness causes people to go crazy, this is kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Half of the reason people pick mates is for social status and so that other people will be jealous. If you're not a hot commodity people aren't interest.

intothewild92 · Answer

No, I think when it fits it fits... I usually meet someone new in those least expected moments in my life and then I am still open for it... But I have to admit, the more I stay single, never had a real relationship, the more I feel independent and it might make somebody feel unworthy. I enjoy my me time so much at the moment, there has to be someone special to change it.

Bandit74 · Answer

I think that is true. The longer you remain single the further behind you fall in terms of dating/sexual experience compared to the girls in your age bracket. That and you become more locked into your comfort zone which makes it harder to break out.

Eusoj712 · Answer

Been single for about 1 - 2 years now... I've had like 2 things with 2 girls, but none turned into a relationship, so yeah, I don't really count those, but in case you do, I'd say it had been like 6 - 7 months since my last date... So yeah, I guess it's kinda hard sincw I keep expecting something "beautiful & unique"...

JSmuve · Answer

Probably ya. The longer I wait, the more I figure out what I want in a relationship and the more I realize there are a lot of women incapable of meeting those standards.

Lance1965 · Answer

I think the longer you stay single the more dating just seems like a risk and a hassle so you tend to give up on the idea.

Hurlyburly · Answer

I do not think that it really gets harder to get in one, but it may be harder to maintain since you get used to freedom.

One_J_Boi · Answer

Nope not at all, I've always been single because: 1 why would anyone like me (and don't say that there's someone for everyone)
2 I got used to being alone
3 even if someone liked me, they'd only be disappointed

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah, I've been single for like 5 years and it just keep getting weirder around guys that show any interest in me. It really sucks. And it seems like the ones that are easy to talk to all have kids and that isn't something I wanna take on at 23.

fuzzyllama · Answer

Yep, a lot of flakes/timewasters in this day and age of online dating

Loser94 · Answer

Yeah it is really hard cause you get so used to just being by yourself that once you try to get in a relationship its really weird and awkward cause you dont know how to act once a relationship looks like its starting.

Anonymous · Answer

I've been single for almost 21 years, I've never dated someone. It's true that I flirt sometimes but it stops there.
For those who may ask why I haven't dated anyone, firstly it's because of my religion, and secondly and to be honest I haven't been attracted by guys around me :D.
Now, I think that it may be hard for me to be engaged to someone because I've been single and independant for too long.

summiter · Answer

I never really thought about it but I think you are right.

britpop · Answer

I think that the longer you stay single the harder it is to accept other people in your life because it breaks your routine

adamjanovic · Answer

If it’s what you get used to, then yeah, I can see why it would be hard to want to get into a relationship.

pman24 · Answer

No. It won't impact your social skills unless you don't talk to anybody. Then it will. Just being single for a few years doesn't make you less likely to find a relashionship.

NoToriousROB · Answer

I could care less of being single as a man. Being single as a man makes you more masculine. It shows people that you don’t need validation from women to make you feel good.

Anonymous · Answer

I think so. I’ve been single 5 years and am starting to love it.

BigRob420 · Answer

You're experiencing irrational fears. Just go ask one out.

Anonymous · Answer

totally. socialisation is a skill. flirting and escalating is a skill. relationships are a skill too, but need lots of patience too.

pebson111 · Answer

I've been single for 12 years. It was okay at first but now I'd like to be in a relationship. I'm actually wondering myself if I should be on dating sites. Or am I too old to even get back in the game. Even though it's not a game.

Nomadic1973 · Answer

Yes. I've only dated one girl on the 5 years I've been divorced. Dating has changed. Drastically

TheViscoKid · Answer

At this point, I'll probably die alone. Most likely from suicide. Existence is pain. I'm Mr. MeSeeks! Look at me!

fierypoos · Answer

I've never had one , I'm finding it impossible to find a nice guy to possibly date

Fuentes · Answer

I been single for 6 years lol it's hella easy to get back into a realtionship but every girl i run into is just on some bs lol

TheBigGiantHead900 · Answer

I think the older a person gets it becomes harder more for men then women to find someone. Women in their early 20's to mid 30's shouldn't have a problem finding someone unlike men of the same age.

Lyuben97 · Answer

Yeah defo... been single for about 2 years now and I've basically given up on trying to do anything about it and I'm just focused on myself and grinding my way to a better life

Anonymous · Answer

It's never too late but when you're single for a long time you get used to it.. it wouldn't be easy to get into a realtionship ana give up most of the things that makes you happy as a man

Lovvyyy · Answer

Yeah, I've been single for like 6 months now and I already feel I can't take it anymore.

SamXIII · Answer

that's actually a good question and I want answers too 😂

Adamg365 · Answer

I think the longer your single, the more you get used to keeping things to yourself and not sharing feelings/thoughts as openly as maybe one should

mgood73 · Answer

yes you get set in your ways and it's harder to break the comfortableness

Anonymous · Answer

bro there are so many people who never even been in a relationship once , by choice too.

Honglitha · Answer

Nooo, that's not true

Logan27 · Answer

Yup. It's like breaking silence. Very hard.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes. As l fall in love with being single.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes yes and yes all the way. Im an example of it

juhqbubbeli · Answer

Its not too late mate, im 26 trust me on this one

Pocahontas2000 · Answer

Yep.

UglyGameReviewer · Answer

Yeah i think so

Thatcher · Answer

Absolutely

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