Is she just playing me or is she really scared?

[Anonymous]

I have been seeing this girl for about 4 months now and at first things were really good we hit it off well and we got along great we both act goofy around each other because we are comfortable well things escalated and we started kissing and eventually staying together and sleeping together (and I actually mean SLEEPING together) but she just got out of a relationship with a guy that cheated on her and treated her like crap so she's not ready for a commitment yet but she wants to be with me and I just needed to give her time well I was fine with that I didn't mind waiting as long as it eventually went somewhere and she reassured me it is going somewhere its just guna take time then finally the other day she told me she loved me I thought OK now we are getting somewhere but then she made a complete 360 she stopped wanting me to come see her she doesn't talk that much she doesn't tell me she misses me anymore but here's the thing normally I would just assume OK she's moved on or found someone else but if I ask her if she doesn't want to see me anymore she will argue me up and down that she does still want to see me so I'm confused people tell me what you think is she playing me or do you think that it scares her that she loves me because I don't think she ever meant to let it get this far this fast

[likewoahhh]

i think she's scared too..

i mean, if I was playing a game with a guy,

and I ended up ACTUALLY liking him, I would be scared too.

if you can't talk to her about it, wait for her to come to you.

[Asker]

We talked for a while last night and she said "your not going to lose me" I told her "you don't know how happy that makes me" she text me back a few min later and said "your never going to lose me :))" well this was at like 6 then 8 comes still haven't heard out of her I thought she might still be at work then 10 comes still nothing so I went to bed WTF! I woke up the next morning and she had left me a text that said she got sick and went to bed right after work what do you guys think about it?

[likewoahhh]

maybe she's telling the truth, maybe she's not.

women are mysteries..

if you REALLY like her, you have to wait for her to come around.

if you're not willing to do that, then move on.

[Asker]

Well I guess that is really all I can do ya know somedays are better than others she text me last night because she fell asleep early and was all mushy telling me she missed me and stuff and then other days I'm lucky if I talk to her at all

[likewoahhh]

well, do you like the way she's treating you?

[Asker]

I love the way she treats me when she acts like she cares but those instances are becoming few and far in between its been almost two weeks since we have stayed the night with each other and I know that sounds like not that long but we live and hour and 45 min apart so the only time we see each other is when we stay together so I haven't even seen her in 2 weeks she says she is busy at work because of the holiday but she cuts hair what does a hair cut have to do with thanksgiving

[camile113]

I THINKS SHES SCARED , BECAUSE OF HER PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIP

[Asker]

we just talked about it and we didn't really get anything solved all I know is that the distance is hard for her and she's busy but that I'm not going to lose her that's what she told me in a nutshell

[camile113]

AS LONG AS YOU KNO THAT SHE DEFINETLY WANTS TO BE WITH YOU , I THINK You SHOULD GO WITH THE FLOW BUT STILL LET HER KNOW WATS BOTHERING YOU

[Asker]

Well if I trust what she says then I know she wants to be with me and that I won't lose her I told her that I wanted her to take her time and just think about it because I didn't want to lose her and she said "your not going to lose me"

[camile113]

SO I DONT THINK YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO WORRY ABOUT

[Asker]

i know I sound like an over analyzing cry baby but I really like this girl and its so confusing to have someone to tell you they want to be with you and care for you and your never going to lose them but then 90% of the time its like you don't even exist to them I guess I should be honest with all of you trying to help me and say that this is the third time we have tried to date and also we have been at this for 4 months and we are still only "talking" her words not mine

[camile113]

so what are you getting fed up ?

[Asker]

Not really fed up just discouraged I guess would be the word I mean people can say anything they want like she's scared or getting bored etc and they might be right but honestly if you were to ask me right now on the spot what I think is up I think she doesn't want to be with me anymore but she doesn't want to tell me and hurt me because she already has twice before and she feels bad about it she only gets distant when I bring up stuff like hanging out or that I miss her other than that its fine