I miss my ex & he misses me too, how do I go back to how we were?

[Anonymous]

Okay so my ex goes around saying he still likes me but he doesn't tell me straight up. Sometimes he flirts and I do too but I don't want to be so obvious about it. I like him too and I miss him. We really loved each other. I guess you can say we still have those feelings. I want to go back to how we were and somehow lead up to me and him getting back together but how? I know this may take some times & I'm all up for that.

We broke up like 8 months ago.

And we recently started talking again after a huge fight like a month ago. How do I get him back to wanting to get back with me and tell me whether he likes me or not?

[TheCheshireCat]

1. Consider why it is you broke up in the first place. Do you just want him back just because you feel that you can't have him? Or maybe you just like the idea of having a boyfriend? Were one (or both) of you abusive, controlling, mean, or possessive? Did one (or both) cheat? If any of these things happened, you'll want to think long and hard about going back to that kind of relationship.

2. Be the person he fell in love with. He was attracted to you because he felt good with you, and you were fulfilling his emotional needs. How have you changed? Correct bad habits and mistakes, if any. Be positive around him. Laugh and smile. Always stay positive to feel good about yourself and make friends around you.

3. The first thing that you say to your ex boyfriend is extremely important. If you say the wrong words, you will lose the chance to get your ex boyfriend back. Do not respond to your ex request for a breakup by crying and begging him to come back. This will not work. You are just going to make him feel more irritated and drive him further away. You need to understand that even though he initiates the breakup, there is a good chance that he still harbors good feelings for you.

4. Use the past to your advantage. If he's ever complimented your outfit, wear it again. Or, share a light-hearted memory with him. If you have a chance to meet him, do it at a familiar place you used to hang out together.

5. Listen carefully to his choice of words. If he ever uses an unusual or uncommon word, casually slip it into the conversation again. This subconsciously tells him that he and you are similar due to exclusive and similar ways of talking.

6. Casually ask if he'd like to do something non-committal, like have a drink with friends, play miniature golf, play tennis, etc. Something friends and first dates alike can do. And whatever it is, keep it fun. Skip out on the serious talks for now. You'll have plenty of time to talk about that later. That's very threatening to a lot of guys. If he initiates it, follow his lead. But don't go heavy.

7. Let him know you were thinking about him. Remember that one time you two went to dinner at that great new restaurant and had a fabulous time? Leave him a short email telling him you ate there recently and thought of him. And, by the way, how is he doing? This is a non-threatening way to have a light conversation, and also, a small request for a reply back

8. Invite him to talk to you. Express regret things weren't working out between you and ask if you can talk about it now that you have some perspective. Ask if what went wrong was related to what you've been working on. Your ex may have a different perspective!

9. Pay a little attention to your appearance if you have been neglecting yourself in that department.

10. If you just broke up (less than a couple weeks) completely ignore him. He will call you if he likes you. If he doesn't then nothing you say or wear will change that.

[TheCheshireCat]

11. Remember, no situation is hopeless. Every day, couples get back together regardless of the situation.

12. Agree with the break-up . The most important thing you can do is agree with the break-up because as long as you're fighting against his decision you won't be able to work towards getting him back.

13. Find other things to focus on. If you focus your attention on a new activity, you will have less time to miss your ex boyfriend. You feel stronger and more in control of your life.

[hollidolli]

Spend some time with him... do things that you two used to do when you were dating... BUT before jumping into things you should look back on why you two split... IF you got back together how would things be different from the last time? Just work your way back to being close and eventually bring up getting back together.

[natashka1889]

honestly after a break up things don't go back the way they were, there's always something missing and this space. it really hurts both people, but it just doesn't fix it self, maybe you guys could try and start over, from the basics and go from there

[Ryder213man]

wow k so basicly you lhe likes you straight up but you like him and miss him too. k it kinda obivous you guys want each other back like this is just me he still luvs you because you ment something for him maybe it because you and him were great togethor. life is a hard game to play you need the right charachters but if it is worth it then go for it

[2Hunts160]

Find him when he's alone and just ask him if you can ask him a serious question. Then ask him if he wants to get back together because you kind of want to. And since he misses you he'll take you back.

[ikarus]

the best example I can give is...think of a relationship like a stick. once it is broken...no amount of super glue, tape or staples can ever make it ONE piece again. so if you're asking how to make things go back to how they were? it cannot happen...it will always be different the second time around. not necessarily for the worst...but its difficult to have an even BETTER relationship the second time around...

[Anonymous]

It would be good to take a look at why and how you guys had the fight with a very honest mind. If what happened back then is something still contribute to reoccuring bickering, fighting etc., maybe it's better of you guys don't get together. Have a good evaluation on what both of you been through. Then make a judgement whether it's a good idea to get back with him before deciding how to get him back ;) x

[DirtyDlish]

you cant...things change and this are different try working with what you have...only time can do