Prenups Yay or Nay?

Question

I recently responded to a similar question asking people if they believed in Prenups. My response was;
I have no problems with them. Marriage isn’t supposed to be about money. A prenup only comes into play If one person in the relationship thinks it is.
For some reason a bunch of guys down-voted my opinion. So I'm doing my own poll to see if that's really the case for the majority of people or just that guys on the last question can't read. What do you think?

BlueCoyote · Accepted Answer

I think there's nothing wrong with prenups but in most cases, people don't actually need them. Especially if they get married at a young age.

In my country, we don't have prenups. Instead, the option of a prenup is already included in the official contract you must sign. When my wife and I prepared to get married and went to our local civil registry office, the lady there explained everything to us. In the marriage contract that we were required to sign, there were three options from which we had to pick one:
Option 1: Assets remain completely split. In the case of a divorce, both parties walk away with whatever belongs to them.
Option 2: All assets that were acquired DURING the marriage will be split 50-50. All assets that the two parties acquired BEFORE the marriage will be split according to ownership.
Option 3: ALL assets, both from before and during the marriage will be split 50-50.

My wife and I chose option 2. However, we could have easily chosen option 3 as well. Neither of us entered this marriage with any significant amount of money/wealth. I had my old furniture, books, a computer and a few other things. My wife had even less since she came to live with me from another country.
In our situation - and in most people's situation - it makes sense to split assets 50-50 in the case of a divorce because a marriage is kind of like a joint venture. So, even if I end up earning more money than my wife or vice versa, it doesn't really matter. We view our relationship as a quasi-communist union: from each according to his (her) ability to each according to his (her) needs. The wealth we acquire is a common good that we throw into one big pot. And all big financial decisions are naturally made together.

So, the ONLY case where a prenup (or option 1 in my country) seems necessary to me is if you marry someone and your financial situation is VASTLY different from that of your spouse. Without trying to sound mean... in most cases these are rich, horny old dudes who marry some 20-year old chick and are scared about their wealth being "stolen" from them in the case of a divorce.

I believe the world would be a better place if couples put as much energy into maintaining a happy, respectful and fair relationship as they put into worrying over their money IF perhaps one day the relationship won't work out.
To use an analogy: it's good to have health insurance because you're scared of a heart attack... but it makes even more sense to live a healthy lifestyle.

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

I have the unique perspective of having advised clients on prenuptial agreements.

Prenuptial agreements are usually pushed by the parents of one of the partners who are getting married. They are concerned that the other one may try to take advantage of their adult child. It seems to me that if someone stays in a marriage only because they don't know the financial consequences of a divorce and they fear the worst. . . do you really want that person to stay with you if that is their motivation?

CarpetDenim · Accepted Answer

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with getting a prenup, but I think it *may* be indicative of trust issues, and I also think it *may* give couples an “easy way out” so to speak. I think marriages that aren’t accompanied by a prenup are more likely to last longer because the couple is more willing to settle differences, make compromises, and resolve problems in order to avoid the financial and emotional strain that a divorce will bring them. Prenups take away a lot of the financial strain that a divorce can bring, and thus make divorce an easier option. But yeah, that’s just speculation. I personally don’t want a prenup but if my husband-to-be was adamant about getting one then I would accept.

pooper89 · Accepted Answer

It’s wrong. You’re doing it because you believe the marriage will fail at some point. Wouldn’t want to marry someone who felt that way

Logorithim · Answer

If @QueenofCups says you should have one, I take her word for it. Might not apply to all countries, though.

BillieJean1070 · Answer

Prenups are good for couples that aren't starting out on an equal footing. Say one has been married before and may have children or one has significant more financial wealth or even if one is just older than the other. In those cases I can understand that it may have some necessity.

thisGUYknows · Answer

everyone thinks they've married the perfect person. until they realize they didn't. Prenup, Prenup, Prenup, Prenup, Prenup, Prenup, Prenup.

you still gotta look out for yourself. when you're married you become two. but make that prenup just in case you end up a one again. you would wanna leave with what you came in with at the very least.

your perfect person would see it the same

madhatters4 · Answer

i think if you have significant assets going into a relationship and feel like you want to protect them or want to plan terms for the potential dissolution of the relationship then yes get a prenuptial agreement.

i support people's ability to get them if they want

dm23chan · Answer

I have one. Not just for money. It is also important to have all things considered, like unplugging after x time in coma, who gets the children in case of divorce, what constitutes cheating, etc

It amuses me that so many are against a prenup but they still are in favour of signing a contract to remain together (aka marriage).

Both are important together

QueenofCups · Answer

I voted A. I went to law school with a lawyer who writes prenups for her clients as a matter of course.

chrisbigman · Answer

I personally think that if you have to get a prenup, then you shouldn't get married to begin with. If you can't trust the person that you are planning to marry, then don't marry them. Not everyone is to marry. That's why everyone marrying these days is a joke. And they wonder why they got cheated on or robbed from. If you have ANY doubt at all that this marriage will be successful, then don't marry.

handyman129 · Answer

You should go into a marriage thinking and believing this if for life and that i won't ever leave this person. If you sign a prenup your basically saying i dont believe we are making this work for life. I only care about protecting myself aftee we divorce. If you need a prenup you shouldn't be getting married

AydenHazor · Answer

Before my first marriage I would have said that if you live someone enough to Bay them your should trust them enough to not worry about a prenup, but she was not worthy of the trust I put in her. Now, I'm not sure if I'd ask for one if I were to remarry, but I can understand them better.

pierre7i · Answer

I would be ok with that as long as it included things that weren't just money & possessions related - for example, shared custody and/or full access to children we might have

Unit1 · Answer

However I'm not marriage material😎  Those downvoters are haters. Forget their existence and you're good to go.

MyExperience · Answer

It should just be another thing couples sign when plannung their marriage. I really dont understand the argument that its unromantic or indicating trust issues. thats bs

LuvMeSomeBoys · Answer

Look at prenups as a way to resolve disputes before they arise, and to protect assets one or both bring into the marriage.

ChronicThinker · Answer

I'd have one. I offered my man one, he's the one who refused.

desidoll · Answer

A. My boyfriend and I both agree we should have it. I understand because he is rich.

Dchrls78104 · Answer

Ideally there shouldn't be any prenups. They should not be necessary.

ZanyInternetName · Answer

I would want one. Realistically the relationship won't last forever, so better safe than sorry.

Philyouup · Answer

After my marriage ended spectacularly horrible, I will never enter any significant relationship with out some sort of break up plan, where property and finances are concerned

stf75013 · Answer

We are living in à time where 'forever' means something like '8 years' so à prenup is the only smart and wise thing to do.

jacquesvol · Answer

I think there is nothing wrong with having a prenuptial agreement if one of both has much more assets than the other.

Prenups Yay or Nay?

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