Guys - should I tell my boyfriend that my ex was abusive?

[Anonymous]

He used to hit me when he got angry, and it took me a good 6 months to realize that I deserved better.

I thought it was best to keep quiet - would you want to know something like that? I'm afraid that my boyfriend will go beat my ex up (and land behind bars or something worse.)

Thanks for your answers. please try to be respectful, it's still a really sensitive topic for me.

Updates

+1 y

My current boyfriend & I have been in a relationship for 8 months, he's a good student, going to college on a football scholarship (first-string linebacker), and anger management classes once a week. He knows my ex (and doesn't like him.)

Updates

+1 y

He's the kind of guy who fixes broken garbage disposals, paints houses, and if you call, comes at any hour of the night.

[preacherman]

Ok, just so you know, you are nowhere near the first girl who has had to go through that terrible kind of thing. Unfortunately. I have had tons of gf's who have gone through that kind of abuse, or worse. Its a tough call, to tell or not to tell. I am a mans man and every time a girl told me about their past, the things they went through, of which hitting was some of the easier stuff I have heard, compared to what some girls go through, like being forced to have sex with their bf's friends, for example. I would get really mad about it. I would grow upset if I ran into the guy. I am a trained fighter, tho, and can get into big trouble now days if I get into any street fight at all. I never beat anyone up over it, but wanted to. No matter what, I was always glad that they cared about me enough to trust me with telling me those sorts of things. If you are going to tell him, there is always the chance he will feel obligated to retaliate. Even, tho, its not his responsibility. It was all yours. I really don't know enough about what kind of guy your boyfriend is and how long you have been together, could you give me more details?

[Hercules]

There isn't a reason to tell your current boyfriend what happened unless you feel it interferes with your relationship. Well, I mean being honest, and sharing, and all that are reasons, but it doesn't seem like you want to tell him because of that.

Why do you want to tell him about what happened?

Also, does he know who your ex is?

[Hercules]

Yeah, if he goes to anger management classes, I'd be really careful what you tell him. Though I do find it weird that you'd go from an abusive boyfriend, to a boyfriend with anger problems.

[kkbabez]

okay, well if you ask me (remember you're asking me here lol) I would just be completely honest with him and tell him the whole story. Just ask him to understand that you don't want him to do anything. That it was just a relationship that you are glad not to be in. Ask him not to completely lose his composure. He should understand.

[Amandadawnkirby]

well you should let him know what happened in the passed. I was in a avusive relationship for 2 years and I got hit choked and so much more. and my boyfriend now we start to play fight and then I have aflash back of my ex beating me. see if you start to have flash backs then let your boyfriend know so that he will understand.

[pretty1]

i think you should tell him cause you shudnt hide it because de point of relationship is to open up and if you cnt open up about ur ex so ur not really tellin him of ur past

[preacherman]

Ok, he will probably beat the guy up, then. So, telling him is up to you. My guess, tho, is that he will kick the other guys ass.

[Tehlrov]

I wouldn't tell him, but if he asks, don't lie. Lying will only hurt more in the end.