Should I tell my boyfriend that my ex was sexually abusive?

[Anonymous]

Just FYI I’m a virgin, but had phone sex with my ex. He was very pushy, coercive, manipulative, controlling etc and truth be told, I was depressed when we began dating, insecure and had weak boundaries. My ex was into all sorts of weird things (like listening to me pee) and I went along with it because yes, I was hanging onto his approval + was suicidal and was very naive/inexperienced back then. At some point I told him to stop, that his sex was weird, that I’m not sure I really loved him, that I am losing attraction to him etc and he would psychologically manipulate me in my depressive state, neg me, etc. I take blame for being weak and pitiful back then too. I ended up cheating on him by sexting someone else out of spite. I was traumatized and emotionally damaged, but have since resolved my childhood trauma, am a lot more confident yet pleasant to be around, more mature emotionally and sociable etc. I’m now dating someone new, am still a virgin technically but I’m wondering if I should tell him about the stuff before him to be honest and transparent, or to only bring it up if he asks, or what. Thank u

[DaySpring]

I can't say I have the most premium opinion on the matter but
I personally think you should let sleeping dogs lie. Let the dead bury the dead.

The past is the past. If you have truly moved forward,
I personally don't see any point in telling your boyfriend about it.

But umm, try to think about why it would be good to tell him.
Then you can weigh both sides and determine which is best.

[Asker]

We aren’t official yet, we’re still in the “talking” phase.

Yeah you’re right, maybe I should look more into why it is I feel the need to tell him. I guess he’s religious and it could matter to him. I don’t know.

[summiter]

I think it is always best to be honest... if your boyfriend cares about you he will understand.

[Anonymous]

I see nothing wrong with telling him about this.