When should you give an ex another chance?

Question

When is it worth giving an ex another chance? And when is it definitely not worth it?

lumos · Accepted Answer

Only under some very specific circumstances would I say that it's worth it. Rarely do you break up with someone and then end up in a place later where you can make it work. Oftentimes a breakup happens because of issues or differences that don't just go away very easily.
In your case I would say that it's only ok to give him a second chance if/when he has worked on his confidence and personal issues, to the point where he's ready and mature enough for a relationship. And that doesn't happen in just a week or month. Usually that sort of self-care and character development happens over the span of a couple of years, with ups and downs here and there.
It's definitely not worth it when those issues are still there and the reasons why you broke up haven't gone anywhere.

Crystal28 · Accepted Answer

If they are physically abusive or constantly cheat, I would never give them another chance. If you two had a misunderstanding or it is something simple that could be resolved through better communication, I’d give it another shot. But ONLY if they proved to me that they’re willing to change and make an effort to better the relationship. If once I give them another chance, they decide to go against their word and take 3 steps back and stop improving for the sake of our relationship, then it’s goodbye.

Blahla · Accepted Answer

It depends on what your deal breakers and feelings are. Everybody is different and even though he wasn’t cheating , that isn’t the only unhealthy thing or cause to ending relationships. But I personally believe ex’s should stay in the past. I’ve been single for some months and neither one of us cheated , but that didn’t make everything good.

Browneye57 · Accepted Answer

Getting back with an ex is like rooting through a dumpster. You might find something you like but it's still trash.

Whatever the problem was before will still be there. It will simply be a repeat performance.

And you're not even 18? Then you're still a child and not even ready for real dating, so all of this is moot. What, you're now ready to marry? Or why are you dating in the first place? Just for entertainment? If so, then it really doesn't matter anyway, does it?

Don't you keep asking this same question in a different way, over and over here? Or do all you kids just have the same problem?

Anon-ymous1 · Accepted Answer

"In cases where cheating occurred it is obviously never ok"

Nothing is obvious, and everything in this life is subjective. The Term "Cheating" Is Erroneous and Foolish, and No One Should Use It ↗
If people decide to stay together for whatever reason, that's perfectly "okay" and none of anyone else's business.

ragequeen · Answer

If you were young and the breakup was not due to serious reasons like cheating or violence (both verbal and physical)

MaximusxXx · Answer

I usually never give or accecpt being givn a second chance.

However, If the relationship was obviously toxic and the two ends don't have a common ground, and very bad communication, then definitely let it go and no second chnaces.

A second chance should only be given when you feel that the relationship has a chance in the future and that you both are welling to change for the better and grow with it.

Wammu · Answer

I honestly think you should just move on. The only time I'd ever see an ex is for sexual reasons and even with THAT I'm on guard.

Look, we split up for a reason. . . We couldn't stay together spiritually. Spirituality comes from people bonding with people, it doesn't come from god and it doesn't come from religion. That's huge, alright? That is INCREDIBLY huge.

Josh49 · Answer

When the person accepts the mistake by himself and he tends not to do it in near future, watch his actions and not his words

YourSweetLifeSaver · Answer

Any reason for the break up is a simple exception that can be overcomed if invested on long enough but I personally believe no relationship should ever be repared if it involed cheating or some type of betrayal

Anonymous · Answer

I think it’s kinda hard to define all the signs at once. It COMPLETLEY depends on context.

But I’d give a chance if they’re willing to change and they follow through with their word.

I won’t ever give a chance if they continue to lie or hide things.

It just depends on their character and how they present themselves.

JackJPershing · Answer

It could be okay when the breakup was about issues beyond your control. You are listed as under 18. Suppose your SO moved away with family. When you are both older it would be fine to reconnect. And there could be other situations. When I was active duty, things could end simply because I was reassigned to a base thousands of miles away or on a different continent.

Now, if it was because the other person cheated or stole or betrayed, then the answer is "Never."

Ayer93 · Answer

If they cheat, there should be no second chance. If they left because they were having personal issues, then giving them a second chance is definitely no harm.

Toldol2 · Answer

Cheating is not the ultimate dealbreaker in itself. It is not worst than having a distant boyfriend.
I think you should only give a second chance to someone who chose to evolve through therapy and Self-Devpt sessions.

emmily2396 · Answer

If the break up was not intentional. Ex: you broke up because you were young and went to college in different cities/ countries or you parents forbid you.
Or if you think they changed as a person and deserve it

Ninetales101 · Answer

Not worth it if they cheat or are abusive. Worth it if they hear why I dumped them or why I feel it won’t work out and they put in effort to show me that is going to change. Then i will give them a chance

MikkiM · Answer

I dont think we should. You know like, you could look for other greater guy than him/her Why waste time with a person whom you know it wouldn't work

Mikayla3 · Answer

Never!!! An ex is an ex for a reason. If you go back. You are asking for more heartache. I'm so sorry but it has always been true for most. Rarely, does it end in a happy ending!

tartaarsaus · Answer

I have a cousin who had a relationship, ended it, got back together and now they are married for over 14 years. It can be worth it

AxisDeer · Answer

Giving a Chance, is like Forgiving. Ideally, when somebody hurts you, you need to forgive them.

In Reality, the 2nd time is Ok. The 3rd++ times,, repeating the same mistakes, is not Ok. You need to move on to the next relationship.

Factshurt90 · Answer

Almost never, unless the split was based on a misunderstanding.

TheWalkingDuck · Answer

I hurt my girl so fucking bad, I did an awful act that I deeply regret. Everybody deserves a fucking second chance, so yes forgive your fucking partner.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

When the break up was due to circumstances eg distance, a misunderstanding, needing to grow up etc rather than personality issues eg one partner is mean, cheating etc.

lilykirkpatrick · Answer

I am 14, I gave my ex a second chance. We have been going strong for almost a month now.

Mihai_I_Daniel · Answer

It's worth it when you still love him, and he still loves you, and his mistake is one that he regrets and isn't in his character. It isn't worth it when he tried to get another girl and he failed and he wants to come back to you.

red_knight · Answer

Anything is debatable except cheating... We're humans that can talk anything out...

HereIbe · Answer

When she, of her own will and unprompted, comes crawling to me with PROOF of extensive therapy and a complete written plan for how she intends to not be a batshit crazy bitch to me.

Sujin95 · Answer

girl, you are not a recycling machine. why would you give another chance to a douchebag?

WeirdoWerdo · Answer

When you thought he cheated on you but he actually didn't..

Cookie8888 · Answer

It should always be judged on a case to case basis.

xEmmorixX · Answer

When someone is ignoring you for days, weeks, and months. Every time you give it another try it's just the same.

TomD1996 · Answer

Hell no. My ex played me so many times behind my back it still impacts me now in my current relationship.

Fukaroo · Answer

The picture has both parties looking at each others dicks.

Ghostwalker · Answer

At your age, second chances can be like first chances. You’re still growing emotionally and learning what you like. And so is he.

Jakeenzo · Answer

I gave my ex a second chance 2 weeks after she cheated on me. A month later she dropped me for my at the time best mate. Not worth it.

Anonymous · Answer

Another chance? If it's about them cheating you, then, hell no.

Anonymous · Answer

According to your update I Think you should give him Another chance

Daniel3035 · Answer

Never. If she’s an ex there’s a reason and that 1% will cone back.

xBuddyLovex · Answer

Depends On a lot of things the answer to this question can't be easy answer so simply

MidnightCerise · Answer

It depends on the situation surrounding the breakup, and if the person regrets their actions and is willing to change.

thrasherdoom · Answer

xes are xes for a reason... think about this analogy... would you take a shit then, fish it out and re-insert it? no? same idea, move on

Anonymous · Answer

If you know that neither of you have any issues with Each other "bottled up". I mean if you still genuinely love radiotherapy aren't mad over the breakup, then it's fine

McKellar · Answer

I don't know,... none of my ex girlfriends ever spoke to me about this.

Anonymous · Answer

my girlfriend broke up with me for all of about a day and then we got back together so id say if you never wanted the breakup to happen in the first place then that is a good time to

KimmyWhimmy · Answer

When you know for sure that things are going to be different. Otherwise just MoveOn

Silver158 · Answer

never, don't even give ex friends another chance. there's a reason it ended.

paw111 · Answer

dont I've gave my ex a chance and she took advantage of it

skoozi · Answer

If she did something incredibly bad then no chance, but if she made a minor inconvienience i definitely would give her a chance

Anonymous · Answer

The picture... another privileged black man with white women drooling over him and society pampering him. I hate being alive so much.

Anonymous · Answer

Cheating or physical abuse should be automatic dealbreakers. No closure, ghost em.  But you are just a kid. It might work.

ivanhunterjo · Answer

Trust is like glass. Once broken it can't be repaired, in short No

Anonymous · Answer

When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.

melanieeeB · Answer

Depends on the situation and the whys

Kestied · Answer

I think it it better not to do so...

Alice2398 · Answer

Still figuring that one out myself

CINDY16 · Answer

Its not worth it if he cheated on you

11dog22 · Answer

Years to decades later and the famous never

lacey_1348 · Answer

I wouldn't give them another chance

Gottabsavagee · Answer

About never.  No excuses

Anonymous · Answer

When they're of the same race.

Pejtu · Answer

U dont give them a change thats all

Rangers · Answer

I don't, simple as that

A_Gem · Answer

In most cases, never. It has a reason it ended, so

Ecco939 · Answer

Nope this will just keep reoccurring.

Wifflesnoofer63 · Answer

That picture is disgusting.

When should you give an ex another chance?

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