It took me 2 hours to get ready for coffee and he refused to go out when I was ready?

[flower92]

So, me and my boyfriend were at my house and I said that we should go for a coffee but I first needed to take a bath and get ready. All this process took me 2 hours and at that time he was still in bed looking at his phone and hasn't dressed yet. When I got ready to go I asked him to get ready too but he refused and said that 2 hours have passed and he didn't want to go out. I was pissed because when i finally got ready completely then he told me that he didn't want to go out. So I end up going for coffee alone. I said that we didn't have a date and haven't discussed on the time, and it was not like I stood him up somewhere out, he was still at bed playing on his phone. I would wait for him in a similar situation I don't understand why he would make time such a big matter. What you guys think?

[TouchMyMind]

Honestly? Two hours is excessive for almost any occasion, but just getting coffee... that’s extreme. If I was just one of your fiends (not ur bf) and you took that long to get ready for coffee, I’d be so freaking pissed off. His behavior is perfectly normal. He wants coffee now. Not two hours later. Also, expecting anyone to wait that long, is not respectful of their time.

[flower92]

I think that at least 1-1.30 is normal. I always take that time to get ready. I am a slow person in every day life, i take about an hour to take a shower and dry my hair and about an hour to get ready. All my friends know that and my boyfriend knows that. When I plan for coffee I plan about 2-3 hours ahead when I have to take a bath and about an hour when I need to get dressed only. I don't mind waiting in my life, I would find something else to do while waiting plus he was in the house playing and he hasn't started getting dressed he seemed cool

[TouchMyMind]

Perhaps try changing some behaviors. One thing I do to save time getting ready, is I shower the night before. That way I wake up and my hair is dry. Which is also less damaging to your hair as well. Think of things u could do to save time. In the end... life is short. They say we spend about 1/3 of our lives sleeping. Do you want to spend the 2/3 getting ready everyday? Or actually do something with the 2/3 you are given.

[Daniela1982]

You were just going for coffee, not dinner at the Ritz. You didn't need to get that dolled up for coffee in my opinion and I guess your boyfriend didn't think so either.

[flower92]

I didn't dressed up or something, it just took me about an hour to take a bath and dry my hair and about an hour to pick my eyebrows, put make up and get dressed with jeans and a t shirt. He was just sitting on the bed playing with his cell phone and didn't say anything, I thought he didn't have a problem

[FakeName123]

Take a shower, dry your hair, get dressed. It's not rocket science. If your self-esteem is so low that you can't possibly ever go out in public without plastering your face with makeup, then thats on you.

[flower92]

Taking a shower and dry hair takes about an hour. I didn't do any make up, just applied foundation and put on jeans t shirt and sneakers. And yes that takes for me 2 hours

[Anonymous]

I think it's something small and you both should get over it.

[NearlyNapping]

You've got five minutes to get ready. (and that's being generous)
Anything longer and I'll have to decide if I still want to go.

There is no way in hell I'd wait two hours to get ready for anything, let alone going out for coffee. I don't even see how that's possible.

[abc3643]

I think you are going to have a lot of problems with men going forward unless you have your shit together when it's time to go.

[flower92]

Well he was just there playing on his phone so I thought he would mind that it took me long

[abc3643]

He's playing on his phone because you weren't ready.

Guy's attitudes about doing things like going out are like erections.
If you don't take advantage of them right away, they don't last.

[Landshrk0068]

2 hours to get ready to go for coffee? You're fucking kidding right? For me and my girl to get ready for a formal charity event put on by the Prime Minister and the first lady, took an hour for my girlfriend and about 40 minutes for me.

2 fucking hours is entirely too long to get ready for anything.

[Jaffacakemucher]

Try doing something he'd like to do where you would have to wait a long time. Like wait with him while he has a haircut. Then later go take your time to get ready for coffee. Now you have waited a long time for him so now when he waits for you he should be more patient.
Give it a give if you want and private message me how it goes im genuinely interested about it.
Good luck!

[nathanp97]

You can't expect someone to wait that long for you. I would possibly do the same thing. It also sounds like you getting ready was something you were going to do anyways, so why would you be mad?

[flower92]

I think my time is normal. I wasn't stressed to do it fast because he didn't seem to care so I enjoyed my bath and took my time to get dressed. I am not a person that wants people to be sharp on time, actually I hate that because it is too stressful, when my friends are late I don't mind, I always give people extra time to get ready because I think it is normal. Coffee or going for a drink is about having fun, I can wait, plus watching someone getting ready makes me feel at ease because I think that I have time to do it myself

[nathanp97]

If I'm in the mood to do a specific thing in two hours I likely won't be. Maybe next time get ready and part way through ask if he wants to do something, or give him an exact time and be ready by then, even if it is longer than you need so you can relax.

Additionally, to me an many others not being punctual is a sign of disrespect. It shows that you don't value their time as much as yours. If someone is late every once in a while or always a few minutes I don't really care, but if it is more than that I just get annoyed. You can always give yourself extra time to get ready so that you aren't late and can relax. People shouldn't have to wait for you.

[CoffeeWC]

You took too long. If I were him I would probably do the same thing. 2 hours is a long time time for just coffee. No need to get all dolled up for just coffee. That's excessive even for an official date.

[Kru2020]

Time management is a nifty thing

[flower92]

Well I am really bad at this and he knows it. And he was just sitting on the bed and playing games so I thought he wouldn't have a problem

[Kru2020]

Time management is important in career setting as well. If your boss expects you to show up to a place a 8 sharp and you stumble in around 8:26 is that acceptable? What I would say is get ready first and then plan your time accordingly.

[brandito1st]

Did he want to go before hand?

[flower92]

Yes he did

[brandito1st]

Okay. He might have bean expecting to go soon after you asked. Then 2 hours go and he loses intrest because you obviously (in his mind) don't really care to go or his time isn't important to you so why shoukd yours be too him.

[flower92]

He was there watching me getting ready, he didn't say anything. If I was in his position I would just wait till he gets ready nomatter

[brandito1st]

And that's nice of you but if he took 2 hours you would have bean annoyed

[Anonymous]

What a horrible boyfriend. Get a real man!