Is being a bad speller a turn off for you?

[Alice2398]

Is being a bad speller a turn off for you?

Im not gonna sit and pretend like im spelling champ 2019 but my boyfriend is just terrible at spelling and it really annoys me. He's not stupid he knows how to make money, he's independent and runs his own business whilst also being a carer for his uncle and does lots of charity work as well but to put it nicely he's a simple guy, he doesn't care to much for being formal which sometimes i really like about him.

But im the one with dyslexia and the man can't even spell "sure" properly he spells it "shaw" who spells like that? Today we couldn't meet up as his little cousin broke her arm and he had to take her hospital and i couldn't make out a word he wrote at first. I understand he may have been in a rush or a panic but it's not just in these scenarios he doesn't make a effort to use his brain, sometimes I'm talking to him and i use a word like " intolerable" and he doesn't understand what it means.

In the kindest way i could put it he's illiterate out of his own fault, i think he could be dyslexic himself but he says he's done the tests and they came back negative. I really like him but i dont like but he doesn't make a effort to better himself with his spelling and doesn't care

[UnknownReflection]

One of the important factors of a successful relationship is Mutual communication, Understanding and Agreement plus sacrificing.

With that said, you have two option here:

1. Express your feelings and communicate with him about everything you've mentioned here. Politely ask him that you really desire to see an effort toward an improvement process on this matter. But also make sure to seek out to see how he also feels about your request and your expectations as well as what he thinks about his situation that you are referring at. You need to put an effort to establish a better understanding but also assuring him that you care about his feelings too and you have no intention of changing him selfishly. It's important for him to sense that in order to not become defensive.

2. Sacrifice this subject for the greater good. If he couldn't change or it turned out a very tough task to handle, you might want to sacrifice this matter on your own in order to keep the relationship going if you really would want to. It's whether you or him that needs to make a sacrifice for a change. Whether he's going to change himself or you are going to change your view. The decision is there between you two to make.

If you ask for my personal view; i would say you are totally overreacting. What you are speaking doesn't make sense to me. Who cares about spelling? let the man talk the way he wants. The way you point out he doesn't know the meaning of a certain word, so what? majority of people have low intelligence on vocabulary, you can not expect people to know all kind of words when you speak to them. In my eyes, your expectations and proposal is utterly illogical and oversensitive. You can easily ignore and let everything be. To me it appears that your views on this subject are way too restricted than it should be.

Anyways, i hope you can find the right way to compromise through this and settle it down safely.

[AtramentalIvory]

Intelligence and grammar are more important to me than spelling, as long as the sentence is coherent otherwise.

[AtramentalIvory]

My mistake, meant to post this as an individual comment and not a reply.

[Knighted2170]

He’s made it this far, and probably see’s no need to change. It would make him more successful though.

I never learned proper grammar. I’m self taught, and it barely passes. I taught myself because I started writing movie scripts. Proper spelling and grammar are required if you want to make money doing that.

He may just need a reason he considers as valid to make the improvement.

[Billie_]

When people use the wrong “your” damnit annoys me so much

[Steve37]

Your over-reacting.

Sorry, I couldn't resist

[Alice2398]

@Steve37 i said im no spelling champ but at least i can't get the right letters

[PrincessGrail]

Don’t flip out over it. You guys are a good couple.

[KaliMe]

Ask anyone who has read my post! Lol I have many misspelled words, typos and grammatical errors. It is my speak and spell app and disabled hands. Something else I should mention is your boyfriend sounds just like me in smarts as for you my wife was dyslexic. Don't let this little thing hinder your relatioship if you know he truly loves you. It ruined ours with her attitude even though I was slowly bettering myself. She now lives in poverty and has been through 6 husbands.

[Jan_Classic]

Spelling doesn't feed the poor or save lives. In most of the cases. Bad documenting of activities may cause some reel weird disasters like Paper Alpha though.

You shouldn't focus on small things like that and build it into something negative. If you keep doing that any relationships will be terrible for you. So it's your perception, not his fault.

[lightbulb27]

haha, communication is important. I guess as long as you don't write to each other. that would trouble me.
I've met a very dyslexic but also very wealthy man. sometimes, it may be an asset as he learns to work around it, and perservere.

what's the cause of that... though... some trauma?

[madgoat]

It's very unprofessional on official literature. I question the validity of companies that make such mistakes.
Socially it's not good but most people use phones that encourage all sorts of nonsense. God only knows why.

[ChiTown33]

Depends how bad. I don't think i'm as bad of speller as some of the typo's i make ( big fingers small keypad). But i've seen some people on here whose posts are flat out painful to read. As long as you can form a coherent thought it's ok.

[Jjpayne]

Google is my friend whenever I'm writing a paper, Google helps with words Microsoft word can't

[worldscolide]

It's a mistake to judge someone on their spelling ability. If you like him, that one little thing you need to simply let go of.

[Guanfei]

A little mistake here and there isn't a problem, but if she writes like a 3yo kid, it might be.
But the worse would be if she knows she's bad, and doesn't care or doesn't want to change.

[Mexicoman101]

Kind of, depends on how defensive they are about being corrected.

[Evil_Chuck]

Yes. It is a turn-off. I am particular about writing. Even when I text, I type out whole words with very few abbreviations.

[pizzalovershouse]

not most people spell every thing right no not really in my answer

[TallAnon]

I really wouldn't care. It doesn't change the person's personality or anything.

[GreenGold1992]

big turn off for me

I'm a writer, so I expect words to be spelled correct most times.

[Reddwolf]

You need to tell him to slow down and no it's not a turn off

[AndrewMG]

yess itt reely anoys mee!

[Secret6620]

No it's not a turn off for me 💗

[ZeussLightningBolt]

Eye onestly dont no. Eyme nutral on the madder.

[daniel_shalome]

Yeah Been There! it annoys me too.

[Iron_Man]

Well it's not a turn on

[Thatswhyimhere]

Depends on the person.