Do you think this is a reasonable request from an obese or fat person?
I don’t consider someone 15-30 pounds fat, either. But say for example a man who is 250 when they’re supposed to be 190 (ideally) wants an average sized woman. Is that fair?
Also, for the purpose of this question, healthy does not necessarily mean ‘fit’ or ‘muscular’. Healthy could also mean ‘average’ as a healthy weight varies from person to person.
Yes, it’s perfectly reasonable
It’s only reasonable if the obese person is a man
It’s only reasonable if the obese person is a woman
It’s only reasonable if the obese person is trying to lose weight
It’s only reasonable as a preference but not as a requirement
No, this is not reasonable at all
Other
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Is it reasonable for overweight or fat people to require their partner to be a healthy weight?
I err on the side of "yes" or at least "not no". I mean I'd consider it idealistic if we apply similar standards to ourselves as what we want in others. When it comes to health, that's someone everyone should ideally be concerned about for themselves first and foremost.
But there are endless dimensions to people. It's like a woman who is not very strong might want her man to be strong. A man who isn't very nurturing might want a woman who is. I don't always think it's as simple as hypocrisy here in all cases since we all have very strengths and weaknesses and different things to offer in a relationship.
Of course, it might backfire. If someone in poor health wants a partner in excellent health, they might not have the highest chance of finding or keeping such a partner. But the onus is on them as I see it to figure out what's practical and attainable.
In my opinion, if the obese person is in the process of losing weight and is very serious about it, then it makes sense that (s) he requires his/her partner to maintain healthy weight. It may serve as a huge motivation when it comes to weight loss, and also show justifiable concern for the well-being of the partner due to personal experience with being overweight and all the related health issues.
What is not reasonable is for the obese person to require his/her partner to maintain healthy weight while not undertaking any kind of serious attempt to deal with their own obesity. You can look at it any way you want and even say that the obese man/woman is trying to protect their loved one, but it is still extremely egoistic since the concerns of the partner vis-à-vis the fat person are not taken into consideration.
I don't think weight should make or break love for someone in general, whether the person with the requirement is obese or not. Weight is something that can change so easily. Someone could be obese, then a year later, super slim and vice versa. It's of course one thing to encourage health (if someone has heart disease and they've rapidly put on weight from certain eating habits and you don't want them to die), but if its just for aesthetics then it's not love in my opinion. That's just my two cents though and I hope not to offend anyone! <3
I think anyone is allowed to want whatever they want in a partner. Even if it is hypocrtical. At the end of the day, that has nothing to do with anyone else and if a overweight person wants someone fit, it is on them and between them and the person they want. It does not mean however it will be easy to find someone the opposite of you, it will be challenging but if that is what someone wants, it is the trade off that they have to make.
Is it reasonable to 'require' a person to be a healthy weight if you're fat yourself? No. Is it reasonable for a fat person to be attracted to healthy weight people and try to go after them? Yes. The word 'require' suggests that a fat person would reject a man/woman if they weren't a healthy weight and would only go out with people who were a healthy weight. This is ridiculous because such a person would be comparing others to a standard they aren't meeting their self. It's like a smoker saying they would only go out with non-smokers. The logic in that doesn't compute.
Anyone can date anyone they want to. It is weird to me that this question exists when polarity or difference or opposites attracting is so common in any other trait. If you're not into bigger people, thats fine. dont date them. they may not be into you either.
but is it reasonable for tall men to only want short women? Or short women to only want taller men? Or is it unreasonable if someone has a preference for people of another race? Is it unreasonable to want people who are very muscular if you have very little muscle? Is it unreasonable to want a blonde if you're a brunette?
People want all kinds of things that are the opposites of themselves physically and in terms of personality. I dont see an issue on this as rule, though some preferences I think need to be considered internally
I don't think it's reasonable to require qualities, traits, abilities or standards that you yourself do not possess. Whether it's weight, fitness, fashion taste, appearance, height, income, intelligence, education or sexual preferences and history.
If another person does not mind your shortcomings and accepts you regardless, that's fine. But you really shouldn't expect that people are going to be ok with you essentially demanding a potential partner to be a better catch than you are. What's in it for the other person?
Require? No. But I think it's reasonable to pursue somebody who is at a healthy weight if you're not. My view is Don't decide who to date solely based on how they look. This is often taken to mean "date somebody who is less attractive than you if you like them" but I think it also applies to situations where you like somebody who is *more* attractive. I don't think you should dismiss them just because they're out of your league. It's not fair to reject somebody just because they are *too* good looking.
As long as two couples love one another that's all matters it doesn't matter whether the Woman is heavier or the Man is heavier it doesn't matter ones skinny and the other is heavy vise versa the only thing matters is real love that exist between the two.
I personally had a girlfriend who was a little bit overweight (I have an athletic build). I just had that preference that I like a girl thats a little bit thicker. In the end though it was never a deal breaker for me that she had to be a certain way, it was more of the fact that I loved her for who she was. shouldn't be required for someone to be a certain way, should just be preference.
I know of a 450 pound woman demanding her S/O to lose 35 to 45 pounds when he already was like 150 pounds. She wanted to gain more weight and eventually lost S/O because she didn't feel she had to lose weight. I think if you demsnding soneone to lose weight you should also.
I think it's reasonable as a preference. People end up in all different kinds of life situations for all different kinds of reasons. Just because they're fat doesn't mean they're proud of it and they could be trying to change that. If you find a partner who already has a good handle on managing their weight that's a healthy step in the right direction too.
It's reasonable as a preference, in the sense that I find normal that an obese person could fin more attractive an prefer a not obese partner than an obese one. However I see unreasonable for someone to expect their partner to be or keep fit if they aren't fit.
I think no one should expect from others more than what they can give.
Anyone can make any request that they want. There is no moral grounds do disqualify someone's preferences or ask-for's so don't let yourself be shamed on the grounds of 'reciprocity' or "you're fat so you can't ask that yourself". You can negotiate anything.
The real question is: Would anyone accept that trade?
I know that "chubby chasers" exist, so the answer is "yes, somebody out there would make that trade".
Yes. If that’s what they’re attracted to, how can they be faulted? What they should understand is that other people might not be attracted to their weight since it could be one of their requirements. There are sites for chubby chasers and I know some women who like heftier men so I don’t think these people are at a loss
I don't consider it reasonable at all. If you don't like the other person the way they are, leave them alone. Wether a person is overweight, normal weight or skinny they are not entitled to demand anything from their partner's weight. It's completely different if your partner tells you they want to lose weight and want your support
I seriously don't understand people's crusade against overweight people... Can everyone please fucking S T O P T H I S?
Everyone would like a healthy partner regardless of their own level of health and fitness. It's normal. These questions make me want to finally get my one-way ticket to Mars.
You should never demand something you can't fullfill yourself, but that doesn't stop you from getting it. If you're fat and can get a thinner person go for it, but if you have a hard time doing so you should not reject fat men that are still thinner then you.
Mix of D and E. Regardless of your weight, you have a right (arguably a duty) to require your partner to try and maintain a healthy weight, along with other healthy behaviors. But only if you also abide by that requirement. This means not requiring results, but insisting on similar goals and reasonable effort.
To each their own, it becomes unreasonable when one person body shames another. If the overweight person is trying to make the average person overweight (or vice versa) then it is an unreasonable situation. If the person WANTS to lose or gain weight to accommodate their partner that is totally fine but it has to come from their own personal desire not from the partners
If your a fat person that can only get turned on by skinny and healthy person that your a hypocrite. If you have no intention on getting healthy your self then you are not in the right to demand that your partner is skinny and healthy. You give what you get.
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