My boyfriend pins me down when he's angry, what to do?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend is a really nice guy - polite, kind, caring, liked by everyone - but lately he's been a bit rough with me.

I don't know if it's because he feels more comfortable with me now that we've been going out for about 2 years but all of a sudden he seems to think it's OK to pin me down when he gets angry and shout in my face... he holds my arms really tight and it really hurts plus he looks so angry it's a bit scary... and it's not even a fight about something major.

I need some advice, how do I get him to go back to how he was in the early stages of our relationship?

[bd181992]

I have been through this many times in the same period of dating my guy.

He is a nice guy like you say yours is but hees the deal.

Shouting in your face or holding you down against our will is

NOT OK. Here are some questions for you, have YOU ever hit him?

and Do you call hm names, or lash out?

My guy claims he pins me down in attempt to keep me

from hitting him (I have before) that doesn't mean it should be

ok either but ask your guy this. He seems to have anger issues as well

has he suffered or yourself any type of abuse in the past?

Those who are abused have a tendency to abuse.

You could talk to him about it calmly and tell him how he makes you

feel. Politely question him on his actions and explain to him you both need to seek help

even if only one of you is abusive. If he loves you he will do anythng to help your relationship.

My relationship isn't easy we both have problems like this because we both were abused.

There is a chance you can make this work if you both take the right steps but it won't be easy.

This isn't a guarantee it will work out either it could get worse if he refuses to seek help.

If the abuse doesn't stop even after you have tried to talk to him or fix it with a counselor you may

need to seek a different relationship. It takes two to make something work and you can't do it alone.

[MzConfused]

From experience, my ex he was like that he was so awesome at first he got along with my parents. since then I thought he was going to be the one that I would be with for life. but over time his true personality came out.

It started with what you are going through now. I thought it wasn't a big deal and I thought it was just a little out burst but it continued then things had gotten worse. Its a good thing your asking for advice before things get major. I didnt.

The best thing to do is leave him now, it will be hard especially if you love the guy, and he will say He will change but don't fall for it. Because after a few days or weeks that you may think things are just the same when you were first together. once your guard is down, it may to turn again. trust it will happen..

i should of paid attention to the verbal abuse. I now learned that about 80% of verbal abuse can lead to physical abuse. I hope this little story and somewhat advice can help you.

[moaterboat]

Get out now. He won't go back. He has learned that he can't reveal his true self at the beginning of the relationship. He knows he has to wait until you are attached to him. But, what you are seeing now isn't a phase or a sudden change. His nice guy mask has come off and he has now shown himself to be an abuser. It will only get worse.

[Prof_Don]

Listen to the rest of these people, Ms. Anonym. This guy is definitely abusive. The scenario you described to us isn't just a burst of anger.

Get away from this dude before things escalate. :-X

[ThatBritishLad]

Grab his Apple of Adam then leg it! He's being the classic abusive bloke: Nice at start to draw in the fish, then wham! Slavery!

[lananoel]

Uh leave him. These are signs of future abuse.

[hasrett]

Better run while you still can.

[Dog19]

Red flags, red flags! Red flags