Why is my boyfriend protective of this girl?

[Anonymous]

I've been dating my boyfriend for 8 months. He is very protective and very serious in the relationship. (We're 16)

A few months ago though I found out he's been flirting with this girl a year younger than us often behind my back. They would go on each others' profile on facebook and write messages. For example, my boyfriend once went on her profile, when through her picture and wrote "I want to be with (his name) forever he is my best friend :D" in the caption. Even before I found that out, we went on a one week vacation together with our families. He prevented me as much as he could from texting while he did. When I looked at his phone he had been texting her saying things like "don't worry I got your back :)" ect.

I got REALLY angry at this and I took a break from him. He kept begging to get back with me and how he only wants to be with me. He told me he only wanted to help her with her boyfriend problems. So, she can get one of her girl friends to help her out, why does it have to be my boyfriend?

Today I noticed that he has messaged this guy telling him to **** off and not to talk to that girl like that ever again or he is going to beat him up. I guess that guy talked inappropriately to her? I'm not sure what happened, that's all I know. He asked the guy to fight him and encouraged the guy too.

Why is he being so protective of her?

[Addie13]

Well my ex girlfriend started flirting with this 40 year old (she's 22, I'm 25), through texts. When I caught wind of it, I confronted her about it. She said I was making a big deal over nothing cause he was in his 40's, just a friend, and a father figure to her. As much as I tried to accept it, it didn't feel right to the relationship. I could tell she had feelings for this guy, no matter how gross it is, because she was protective of their "friendship". After a month of trying to be accepting of their relationship, things just unravelled. We went on a "break" and she decided to use that time to hang out with him, rather than reflect on what could be done to save the relationship. One week later we broke up and she immediately started dating that "father figure".

I'm not saying your boyfriend does have those feelings for this girl. He could genuinely just want to help her out. But being in a relationship he needs to realize that lines need to be drawn with friends. If something is disrespectful to your relationship (i.e. flirting) he should not do it or even want to do it. Your relationship consists of you and him, that's it. Everything else takes a backseat and if you feel uncomfortable about something he should acknowledge it and act accordingly to what's best for the relationship. If he really cares about you. That's my opinion from personal experience. Hope it helps

[malekoniky]

He is protective because she needs it. When you need it, he will. It don't look like he is cheating on you so let him and be understanding. If that's the case, that he only want to help then you should be very happy that you have such a guy!

If you get in conflict with him for he doing good to others ... it'll put distance between you.

If he is flirting with her, wanting her, that is entirely different situation! But until you know that is so, you should let him doing what is right and even support him.