My boyfriend wishes I were skinnier?

[darkskies1]

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost four months. And while I am a little chubby (I’m 5’5 and 200 pounds), I have been the same size since we met and have even lost some weight since then. However despite him constantly saying how he loves my body and how I don’t need to change and how I shouldn’t be self conscious... he recently told me that he wishes I were skinnier. We haven’t talked about it anymore since then but now I don’t know if I’m comfortable enough with my body around him anymore. How should I address this conversation and is it irrational of me to be upset about this?

[Philyouup]

First. Assholes here who don’t have to look you in the face get “balls” And will be disrespectful.

As for your weight. As
Long as you have a health BMI , you should be ok. But if not, just for your health alone, you should work towards a healthy goal.

Sex with some extra padding is attractive to some. But it is very much more enjoyable when people are closer to a healthy BMI. Not that sex is not enjoyable with some extra love padding, it absolutely is.

As for your boyfriend. I don’t know. Sometimes as guys we think we are helping , when really we are not. Perhaps he was thinking of the health aspects. Or jus desires a flat tummy but still likes you more than something superficial like a flat tummy, but his desires just slipped by his filters.

Bottom line, I don’t think he meant to be critical. He’s with you, so something you have has got him there with you. Allow for his one indiscretion , if becomes a regular thing, you need to find another man.

No one by you can make you ready to loose weight. And shaming or “ encouraging “ causes the opposite effect.

Good luck my dear.

[cavmanier]

I agree with @tyler00117 I think he likes you and is okay with your body but he was being honest that he would find you more attractive if you lost weight. A lot of people would prefer their partners body to be somewhat different.

I don't think it's a irrational to feel upset. I don't think your boyfriend did anything wrong though. He tried to be nice but in the end was honest. Real honesty is actually not that easy to come across. Everywhere you look in the world people, businesses and lots of places are lying to you.

You adjust the conversation by talking to him honestly.

[SarahsSummer]

it's not irrational if you are getting mixed messages from him of loving you the way you are AND wanting you to change. I would have a conversation with him. Try not to come across as hurt or saddened by his comments and rather try to understand where he is coming from and what has changed with HIM to suddenly feel this way about you.

[Annie12234]

Dump him and get a boyfriend who loves you as just the way you are and make you happy as long you stay health and watch out of your weight that all matter to stay alive 🤗🌸it’s you only who can decide to change your weight and your health. You do know what makes you feel comfortable then that’s okay. 😊

[bandito18]

I think he didn’t handle the situation right. Instead of saying “I wish you were skinnier”, he should have said something more nice and proactive like you guys losing weight together and eating healthier as a team. I don't know 🤷🏻‍♀️

[DanBell]

Perfectly rational for you to be upset, he should not have said that. You could simply break up with him for being an ass or if you value the relationship enough tell him that it was out of line. And ignore the hateful comments telling you this is okay or that you should change to appease him, that is all BS. You have a beautiful body that is far more attractive than the borderline anorexics that the establishment is trying to pass off as "models" these days and have no reason to change or be ashamed. Either your boyfriend or loves you for who you are or he is not the right one for you. And trust me, there are plenty of other guys out there that love chubby girls.

[Reaperbot666]

sounds like you might wanna find a new boyfriend. if he only recently is bring this up. sounds like he views you as a work in progress type woman.

however either way it would help you. to get to where you can like your body how it currently is or try to get your body to how you wish you looked. because if you don't like yourself how you are. then trying to be with someone else can be frustrating.

[cossidilla]

It's cool he said that you should be very comfortable around him. relationship is you being one with each other, u could do it for him if you don't want stay the same he don't care, but if it's a problem find someone else. I say do it it's better for your health, every one should exercise

[nerms123]

Sorry dear that’s more than a little chubby but regardless he shouldn’t date you to begin with if he’s not attracted and then complain and try to change you. You can either get a boyfriend who loves bigger women or lose weight to make yourself happy

[NearlyNapping]

He wants someone who is not suicidal. You aren't a little chubby, you are morbidly obese. You are taking decades off your life. You are literally killing yourself.

[TylerC137]

Make it something you both can do together. Workout partners can be fun even if he's not overweight, he could be more ripped and more appealing. When you accomplish gains, you will feel much better if he is making improvements as well.

[Harmseygrace]

That's not a healthy weight. For your sake, try to exercise and eat as healthy as possible. He may just be saying it because he wants you to healthier.

[NerdInDenial]

5’5 and 200 pounds is not a little chubby. You are obese. If you don’t want to change just ask him if he still finds you attractive. If he can’t answer, just leave.

[tyler00117]

To me it sounds like he loves you for you, and doesn't want you to feel uncomfortable about yourself. In my opinion i believe he might like to help you weigh a little less but another thing is don't forget to feel comfortable in yourself

[20yearsolder]

Dump his ass and find someone that wants to be with you exactly how you are. Don't let some guy make you feel insecure about yourself. Rock it girl

[luvstoned4him]

my boyfriend wished I was chubby

#issues

why do they get involved with you in the first place if they aren't happy with your looks? SMH

[October808]

You're overweight, not chubby. He's just saying now what he would have said later in a heated argument. I'm not trying to be cruel here.

[MannySimms]

A "little chubby", huh?

Sorry, but that's fat to me but it doesn't eliminate you from dating possibilities. He sounds like a mook.

[MrMilti]

So he loved you because of your personality and not your appearance and somehow that is a bad thing?

[Snakeyes7]

Why not diet and work out together? Those always make fun dates and you can both self improve

[Anonymous]

Wow nice built.
I am same height as you and am 125 pounds

[Iron_Man]

Start eating clean and get a lot of exercise