How come men are sweet only at the start of a relationship?

[helpmeeee]

Well, my boyfriend used to be soooooooo sweet to me but after awhile, he changed. I felt bad because I wanted a sweet guy who always made me special so I asked him why he was like that. He said that he was running out of sweet things to say. So I told him that it's okay if he repeats some of the sweet things that he tells me. So what we did was, he sent me a goodnight text every night and tells me sweet things :) This went on for a month but he hasn't sent me anything for the last 4 days.

I just want a happy relationship with him and I'm afraid that if we stop being sweet with each other, we might get bored with each other! I don't want that to happen :(

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And I also feel like I'm too clingy. we talk everyday but every time he's busy with school, he becomes boring to talk to. It's his exam week in the university and he's busy. Me on the other hand, doesn't have anything to do because school is over :D

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Yeah and I feel neglected when he's busy. I'm shy to demand that he should tell me "I LOVE YOU" all the time (cuz it makes me feel better) so I kind of pout when he's paying more attention to his work. I understand that he's busy but I really miss him :(

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Thanks so much for your answers! :)

[Darkfaith]

I tell a lot of people the same things, but it's 90% true for all their relationships, you both have to work on the relationship for it to work. You can't just say to him "sent me sweet texts all the time" and expect him to do it, if you want sweet things, you have to return the favour. In you favour though, men are creatures of simple pleasures and sex is generally all they need, but if you don't want to give that to him, try doing something he likes i.e watching his favorite movies or at least trying to play his video games (you don't have to get addicted or anthing, just show an interest in his life) and generally guys learn. Girl's seem to think that just because they are in a relationship all this love and affection is going to charge them from their boyfriends, and guys seem to think that once in a relationship they're gonna get as much sex as their hearts desire, but neither views work.

A sad truth is though, when you get married, you won't wan't to have sex with him, or rarely at least, and he is gonna want it like he did when he was a kid, and this pushed guys away and makes them begin to hate their lives and want to cheat on you. Men and women truly are animals who hope their happyness comes without trything. If he doesn't respond in kind though, then he seems pretty slack and worth dumping.

Seriously though, try giving as much as you would like to recieve, it is truly a 50-50 relationship, you can't get without giving. As much as I despise people and their love lives, because I can't be in one myself, I wish all the relationships would come crashing down in the world, but that's not within my power, so I may as well make people as happy as I wish I was, so go, be happy with your friends and your boyfriend, but don't give him more power in the relationship than you have, or it will be one sided, and end up bad for one of you.

[themastaplan]

if people worked as hard at their relationships as tehy do at their jobs there would be a lot less of a divorse rate...everyone is plagued by these "romatic" movies that make it seem like nothing takes work...its too bad people are like that now adays

[Darkfaith]

Yeah, think that they can do it with little effort on their part, but this is the joining of two people, that's not an easy task, two separate upbringings, two separate sets of rules, morals and values.

[craig_lyon80]

At the start of a relationship men are trying to impress you and get you to notice them and want them. It is natural for them to spoil you a bit and make an effort to keep you interested. Once the relationship develops you are more used to each other, you will have seen each others' bad habits, as well as good ones. You willl know what each other looks like first thing in the morning and your likes and dislikes.

They care about you more but appreciate you less. You are taken for granted as the relationship becomes predictable and the excitement and newness of everything is gone and so therefore the need to impress so often goes with it.

For example, when you invite someone new to your home or an old friend you haven't seen in years, you make an effort to make sure the house is clean and tidy and that you have quality refreshments on offer. If it is your best friend or sister, then you will make less effort as they know you well and know what to expect. It is not that you don't care about them or think they are not worth it, but there is less need for it so it isn't done. That is the same with a relationship and anything else in life.

What you must do is keep the relationship fresh, try new things, do things you did when you first met that you enjoyed together. Often if you are married, working and having your own life and especially if you have kids, then the opportunity to do all those things you did at the start has gone as there are more responsibilites to take up your time.

[Sapphires4Life]

Wow, I know how you feel. Okay, I don't mean to be prying here but, have you two done the deed yet? Sometimes after you sleep with a guy, they tend to seem more distant than they did in the beginning, and sometimes they take you for granted. I had the same issue with an ex-boyfriend, who I broke up with about two months ago. After we did the deed I felt like I had become clingy, and he was always too busy for me. I'm hoping the next guy I get into a serious relationship with won't be like that.

If you're worried you might seem clingy, try giving each other a two day no talking policy. Sometimes guys become worried when we fall out of our patterns to call THEM, so they take the initiative. As far as the sweet talk goes, try acting casually, and try to act sweet to HIM, and see if he does the same in return. If not, try talking about it again. :)

[helpmeeee]

nope we didn't do IT yet haha

thanks I'll try what you said :) we've actually done that once but I missed him too much :<

[Anonymous]

hahaha..welcome to the club my dear :) Guys tend to become comfortable once they have you. Does that mean he doesn't love you? No..does that mean he doesn't feel it? No again. But I like the fact that he's trying to please you..once you've said tell me sweet things again, he kept sending you night messages. He's a very sweet guy actually :)

I believe that girls should direct guys to how to be romantic as you just did. It's so normal my dear & he seems like a good guy :)

About not texting you for four days, I'm sure he's busy or smth came up. Be patient, don't panic and play it cool. Don't rely on him for the happinness in your life. call your girlfriends and go to the movies and do whatever makes you happy. That's something I've learned when dealing with my boyfriend ;)

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks for the best answer! :)

[themastaplan]

this is by far the best answer...i wish more girls saw things this way...esp with being busy, sometimes people just forget, its always good for girls to have a girls night and guys to have a guys night...

[Rique]

took the words right out of my mouth...

[WonderingNomad]

this is such good advice! I too used to think (like many girls) that "if I have to ask, it doesn't count." then I realized that life's not perfect and that I could either ask and get what I wanted/needed, or not ask, and not get it. so, I chose the first option. it has made SUCH a difference not only in my relationships, but also in terms of my personal happiness.

[MrReal]

BRAVO BRAVO Perfect answer

[AlbinoBunny]

Ok my answer was removed as spam 'Nothing's forever'.

I'll explain. People are like that, maybe it's just to attract other people. People get comfortable with each other and people's lives change. People's relationships will probably change.

So yeah, nothing's forever.

[arubian06]

i was sweet for the whole 2 years with my girlfriend, work and all. she still dumped me. and to answer your question, some men get over the honeymoon phase faster than their girl.

[DocClassic]

same reason women put out more at the beginning of the relationship?

[themastaplan]

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

[xxxgrenadexxx]

HAHAHA such a win

[Anonymous]

Relationships go through a phase where you first meet the person and your trying to impress them. After around two years in a relationship this "phase" wears off and the person becomes comfortable. You start to see the things you see now. To spice it up a little, mix things up when you can. Where you go, who you go with, dress up for sex. The purpose is get out of the same old same old. You'll be surprised how much this spices it up and keeps him interested.

[summerjatt]

because they are honey about you when you first start to go out with you. after they f*** you they they wnt to move on to next chick

[Raven93]

Yes, men are dogs.

[Anonymous]

Are you doing anything for him?

[helpmeeee]

yes. well, it feels weird because he used to be the sweet one and now that he's not, I'm the one who's beginning to be sweet to him. I'm not used to this and I feel like I'm the only one interested in him because I pay more attention to him.

Is it normal to feel that way, or am I just insecure?

[Opinion Owner]

Well my point is that you should have the equal amount of attention. If he does something sweet then you have to do something that he likes too. It's kind of selfish for him to be thinking about you and only pleasing you at all times. I think you're being insecure. Just because he isn't being sweet doesn't mean he loves you any less. You should keep the romance alive every once in a while, but don't force it because then it becomes a burden.

[helpmeeee]

Yeah I show affection but he shows more of it than I do. I don't want to look to desperate or anything.

[Raven93]

Because men are dogs