Why do men act so good at the beginning of relationships and then stop putting in effort?

Question

Why do they stop doing the little things and doing those things that made their partner fall in love with them in the first place? We can’t be surprised women are the main ones filing for divorce when most men are getting too lax and complacent in their relationships. I think a man deserves to get divorced if he’s not doing those things that make his partner feel desired anymore.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Because you girls have very high expectations that nothing he does is good enough , if he is going to work all week and busting his ass to provide he is human as well and has good and bad days as well just like You do when it comes to him finally having a day off from work and wants to sit down and unwind and have a few beers a girl will have a shit about it like he isn’t suppose to be able to relax and she will bitch and nag that he didn’t do certain things that she spotted in the house , Now if he is coming home everyday after work doing absolutely nothing to help around the house or help with chores then yes you can bitch at him for not helping, But Little do you women realize it doesn’t take much to please a man , so if he isn’t helping you around the house and just sitting on his ass after work then there is something you aren’t doing as well, Stop pointing fingers at him and start pointing fingers at yourself , Cuz I got news for you girls , A man isn’t going to bust his ass around the house and cater to a girl if you aren’t catering to him , Most girls use sex as a weapon, like it’s a bargaining agreement , little does she realize she is destroying that marriage by doing that , a man shows his love to his girl by intimacy and affection , when a husband isn’t getting intimacy and affection from his wife and she makes him feel like he has to earn it , that’s makes him feel unloved and unappreciated and pushing him to be open to accepting another girl that wishes she had what you had , A guy needs to feel loved and wanted and respected and appreciated from his wife , If she isn’t keeping up on her end of the agreement he isn’t going to bend over backwards for her , If you want your husband to be the man you fell in love with then you have to stop being a nagging bitch and stop comparing your husband to other guys especially your toxic girlfriends that love drama and stirring shit up in your life making you feel like you deserve a better man, so put your toxic friends aside your friends won’t be with you until you die but your husband will be if you make him feel loved and appreciated so let your husband know that you love and value him , make him a priority , let him know your heart beats for him , Surprise him with an amazing blow job or wear a sexy lingerie and fuck his brains out and then tell him to do the things you want done around the house , I guarantee he does it because now you showed him that you appreciate and respect him, like you first did when you met him The number 1 thing girls do that end a relationship with a man is her not being able to remove selfishness, and comparing her life to shit she c’s and heard from lifetime movies and shit her

Toxic girlfriends feed her head with , If you can’t prioritize your man over all those things then you will never last in a marriage because you are a selfish person that only cares about themselves, No relationship is perfect but when you remove selfishness and prioritize your partner and show love and respect and compliment them and appreciate them they will do the same for you , Pull out your knee pads and get sucking

DaveJord · Accepted Answer

HOLD up, put the brakes on here, please?

First off, when you first start dating someone you go through what is call the honeymoon period, this when everything is peaches and cream with rainbows and unicorns... you can't imagine ever arguing or being angry with this person.

Then you go through what is call the cooling off period, this when the relationship starts to settle back to earth. You start to really get to know the other person and expectations start to fall into place. Because realistically initially dating is all about impressing the other person, and then as the relationship progress it's about developing realistic expectations, because obviously you cannot maintain the same pace for ever.

After the cooling off period, you get into a sustainable relationship, or the relationship naturally fizzles out.

But only the naive would believe men are the only ones, who stop doing things. Women stop doing things as well, they stop trying as hard as they used to. Actually, it's more like women start doing things they never did while dating, like complaining about everything that they never mentioned one time before. Then they start to withdraw from the relationship, because they blame the man for not doing something, when the man only stopped because she stopped doing things to. The chicken before the egg argument ensues.

So obviously if you find yourself in a relationship that does not make you happy then you need to get out of it. For sure, I totally agree with you on that fact. But I resent your inherently sexist perspective that it is all about the man, and what he stops or is not doing.

Let me tell you Hunny, most these women that think that way, are not all that they have built themselve out to be, either.

Aggon1998 · Answer

It is because relationships work in phases.

1. The first phase is the romantic, lovely phase that thrives and bursts of love and affection.
2. Later on this fades away and you'll see the things that you don't like about this partner. You'll go through obstacles together. When you've overcome that, it'll prove that you two are capable.
3. This brings you to the third phase where the romance fades further, but gets replaced with trust. Trust is the building stone of every relationship. It will get less likely for either side to commit any form of cheating.

The reason why people cheat is because of that first phase. You see all the good things that your partner doesn't have (anymore)

My advice is to wait with sexual interaction until you've reached phase 3 or preferably until marriage. This will increase the odds of having an great and strong marriage with your SO

Anonymous · Answer

Because for some damn reason women grow up w this mentality that that’s what men are supposed to do. Maybe BS movies like the ones Disney put out. As much as you’d like to think men are naturally that way we aren’t. I show my love by taking care of the family, working my ass off, making sure we have a place to live, bills paid, food, etc. Women do the same thing as well, pretending to like sports. Pretending like they love to cook, both males as well as females do it. Women file for divorce cause once they get what they want then they want something else. They’re not happy.

Anonymous · Answer

Payback.

Guys have to do a little dance. Move heaven and earth just to win her over to begin with. It's not fun. Especially when she disrespect you repeatedly. Finally one day you win her over. She stabilizes a bond with you. Her feeling grow overtime. Now guys know this. Ya should've made it easier for him. Because now we know you're hooked. We know women are slaves to thier feelings and won't want to break that bond. So he can ignore some things, he can relax, get complacent, maybe even cheat on her (depending on the woman). Because this how women are wired. Much like you women know you can and DO use your feminine wiles to manipulate us. We know we can use yours feelings, and emotions against you. It's just part of the game.

Kevinb18222 · Answer

Sadly we guys start to get comfortable with the relationship. We think you’re never gonna leave so we stop. I’ve learned this the hard way. Best thing to do when a relationship starts is to hint at the fact you’d always like to feel special.
now I always try to do something to make her special even if it’s once every few weeks so she knows I still care

inhua · Answer

I'm pretty sure starting a family, moving to a safe neighbor, keeping a roof over the head, buying a car, paying the bills, doing the heavy outdoor lifting, raising the kids, warding off home intruders etc would warrant as putting in effort.

Kusz76 · Answer

If a man puts lots of effort in then he should surely expect the same back, if the girl just takes and doesn’t give then he’s wasting his time and he’s quite right to walk away, it’s a 2 way street. You get out what you put in

BeMuse · Answer

More like you have unrealistic desires and no one will ever take you seriously.

jayhams · Answer

Because both people change and one or both partners are bad at communication. To you it might seem like they just stopped caring but it could be she changed here and there and he is reacting to it without even knowing or vice versa.

_piotr · Answer

At least men put effort in the beginning. Women do not put any effort at all.

Anonymous · Answer

I am wondering that myself. I don't see myself landing in that situation.

disgustingweebtrash · Answer

They realise you're just like the rest

Why do men act so good at the beginning of relationships and then stop putting in effort?

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