Why do I feel like he doesn't care anymore?

Anonymous
We've been together for 9 years. It's been a battle since day one. He kept going to his ex for sex until we finally were a couple. he lied to me since the beginning, about himself. I asked him why he lied, he said "you wouldn't have wanted me if I acted like myself". I fell in love with the man in the beginning. after about a year, he became himself. lazy, not in to me, hardly any sex, always wants to be with friends and others. we sit home and do nothing until a friend calls, then he wants to go. a few years went by and I feel we were in a dead end relationship. I threatened to leave, we lived together. he didn't seem to care that I was packing. he didn't want me to go but doesn't know how to show me that he wanted me to stay, except by saying, I don't want you to go. didn't stop me, didn't fight for me. I moved out. then he ended up with his ex again, easy sex. after sometime, he said he missed me and realized how much he missed me and asked me to marry him. we got back together. I moved back in. and its no different. we fight alot. he is not affectionate, he doesn't like to be fondled. we hardly ever have sex and he thinks that twice a month is normal. when we do, he only lasts a minute. and he thinks I'm slow...hello? he wonders why I'm frustrated all the time. we fight all the time. he always wants to be around friends but hardly me. he wants me to go but I kinda sit there alone while he mingles. he turns his back to me when we go to bed. I get a peck of a kiss, then he turns over. no affection, nothing. we fight. I sleep on couch. he doesn't care. we don't talk much. we had a big fight last weekend at a bar. I got really mad and he wouldn't give me key to car. so I walked home, 5 miles, at 2am. he went home, in my car. he said he went looking for me, I saw him drive by a couple times but he said he never saw me. I stayed on main roads, no way he missed me! he doesn't care if I'm out walking. what man would let his woman walk home, in the dark. what if I got killed or raped? how would he feel? I asked him. he said "you shouldn't have walked home"...he doesn't care if I sleep on couch. he said, you can sleep on couch however long you want.. I told him he has it made with us not talking...he can go in room and watch TV and not have to deal with me, kiss me, have no sex...he is happy. he says he's not happy this way but he won't do anything about it. if I walked out and moved out tomorrow, he may care but he wouldn't try to stop me, or fight for me, or try to make things work. he has never had a good relationship before. is he just bad at relationships or just plain doesn't care. he doesn't care about himself or us. he doesn't care about my future when he dies. he figures, once he's gone, who cares. no goals, no ambitions, I just am at ropes end. I can't afford to move out. I just got a part time job but its not enough to move out. I know he loves me, in his way. he is no gentleman. I just don't know what to do anymore...
Why do I feel like he doesn't care anymore?
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