I'm in a long distance relationship and I'm being catfished... I do love him so much that I can't leave, what can I do?

Question

I'm just being catfished by my boyfriend, yes you heard it right he is my boyfriend but we have never done face time, Skype or etc. before. I really don't know what to do 'cause I'm really in love with him I know it sounds stupid and ridiculous but I just can't stop talking with him... 'cause the character that he is showing me is the best he is the only one who understand me like that. I talked about that with him, one time I said "are you hiding something from me? 'Cause you don't even want to hear my voice don't give me your number and blah blah blah" and in that day he left me directly and then came back after a 1 week later ahh don't swear me but again I accepted him I don't know what is wrong with me how did I fall in love with someone like him... I just want him to tell me the truth. I need some advice :((
P. S: I'm not a native English speaker pleaseee don't mind me if I did any grammar mistakes 🙏

chistonejr · Accepted Answer

If you have fallen in love with the person behind the picture, then you have already done the best thing that most people don't do which is to fall in love with the person's personality first before their face. The only thing in your situation is that you have to understand that love has to be reciprocated in some shape or form.

Ask yourself:
- What is it about him that made me fall for him?
- Does he take the initiative to show that he cares?
- What does he do for me?
- Is he being honest with me?

If he cannot reciprocate the same amount of energy and love that you have for him, like the willingness to show himself to the "girl he loves" so that she could put her idea of love for him to the face that she wants to complete the puzzle too, then in the long run, someone is going to get hurt.

Find out what he is hiding from you and then use that to help you decide on things. You never know, he might be protecting you from something as well, but you have to let him know that he needs to be honest with you. Tell him that he does not need to be afraid because you love him.

If he is just using and playing you out though, you have to be able to say "I am worth more" and move on :).

GreenGold1992 · Accepted Answer

I'm going through the same thing as you, I've been messaging several women over the last few weeks from dating apps. Most of them turned out to be catfishes, so I know what to look out for now.

I know how you feel, its easy to fall in love with a person like this, but its not right. Until you 1. hear their voice or 2. video chat online or 3. meet in person face to face, you're under no obligation to commit to them nor do you have any reason to fall in love or trust or believe anything they say. Until then, they're a complete stranger who could be anyone to manipulate you or take advantage of you.

They'll say anything to make themselves sound convincing, they can send plenty of pics, but that's not enough to verify their identity. If they refuse or come up with an excuse as to why they cannot call or video chat, its because they don't want to be exposed. You can still talk to them all you want, they'll say anything you'll wanna hear, but until you do one of all of the 3 things I listed, you're just humoring the situation.

And if they ask you for any money for any reason, DON'T GIVE THEM ANY!

aWes0MeNeSs · Accepted Answer

Realize that the person you fell in love with does not exist, and is not who you're speaking to. This person is just messing with you or wants something from you, like money.

Block them on whatever platforms you talk to them on and don't look back.

Unfortunately, this is why it's not the best idea to have an "online" relationship where you've never met the other person before, and especially if they refuse to show their face or speak to you on the phone. You have no idea who is behind that screen.

Daniela1982 · Accepted Answer

You must be desperate or something to love someone you never met and whose talk could be pure bull shit from all you know. It could even be a woman you have been talking too or even someone already married. Time to back away from the computer and take up a hobby or something. You are not in the right frame of mind to be on a computer if you can fall for some unknown like you did. Just exactly what is it about this person that you love, keeping in mind it may be things said that they know you want to hear.

ElissaDido · Answer

You know he could be a very old pedophile or sexual predator or even a woman (assuming you're straight)?

Don't fool yourself like that. You shouldn't enter a relationship with someone you don't even know how they look like or how they sound like.

Desconhecida · Answer

End this relationship right now, girl!

Sensmind · Answer

What I would do is
(1) Say "I know you are a catfish but I like the person not what is picture is like. So don't be afraid to show real you, something might happen"
(2) If anything financial or sexual (you sending nudes or sexting), stop immeadiately until he reveals who he is and what his intention is then decide.
(3) If you get a negative response to 1 or 2 - Cut ties immediately

MysterTanguish · Answer

Put an end if he doesn't change. Lock your heart and use your brain. You are in love with the character he plays in your conversations : a perfect loving and understanding boyfriend. He got you to like him and got you addicted to him.
Set ''him making a video call or a voice message'' a condition for your conversations to continue, or else break-up and explicitly tell him that he never loved you anyway (which could be true)

Anonymous · Answer

You aren’t in love with him. You don’t know who he is. You are attached to an idea that you’ve created in your head based on an act he is presenting you.

He’s a 50 yr old fat guy that lives on his moms welfare check. When he’s not talking to you he is jerking off to your picture. And imagining having you in group sex with his three friends from the homeless shelter and then plans to abandon u if you get pregnant or catch an std from one of his friends. But it’s ok for him because he got what he wanted.

Anonymous · Answer

So let me get this straight.

You've never done Skye, never spoke over the phone, etc. and you love him? So *what* exactly do you love? That he gets you? How's he get you? No offense but you're 19, most 19 year olds aren't that complex. More than likely he's given you a little bit of praise & you're head over heels in "love".

by the way if you're not a native English speaker I'll eat my hat. You convey your message extremely well. Far **better** than a non-English speaker would. More than likely you are English just poor education means you're trying to pass yourself off as someone else. And he's the issue?

Mroz75 · Answer

I've been there a lot (being catfished) so my advice to you is gonna be really simple, you go block him on every platform you have him in, and end of the story... he makes you feel good, and happy, i know... but you can't build a relationship over some cute and caring text, not at all.
No reason can stop a guy from having a video call with a stranger, so how about if it was his girlfriend!
Please I'm talking for your benefits... just block him everywhere without even saying anything.
You don't know who would it be!

Shellyworld · Answer

How hard it is to do is to confront him straightforward by saying: “Not meant to break you but what broke my heart is that I found out that you are Not the person you present online. I’m afraid that this will not lead to a real romance.”
or expose him so he’ll stop catfishing other girls. Maybe he is catfishing other girls too. So the reason is ready. Believe that he may be catfishing other girls online too, because he is incel, inept to find someone in real life and enjoys virtual relationships. Imagine if it had happened to your daughter. You would beat the hell out of him. Look for consult from a psychologist if it is almost impossible for you to give up on this relationship. What you describe sounds like an addiction.

R_ūshī · Answer

Just leave him. Long distance stuff like that are nothing but toxic. Be kind to yourself and walk away.

Been there, done that. The solution is to let him know that you're aware of everything and to leave. Ik it can be hard but you gotta do it.

billyboy37 · Answer

i fuckin hate it wen its a hopless undeniable disrespect like this but listen to me, he's only human.. he does hav love for u... he did keep u away from lonlinesss for awhile... time will not heal... forgiv and be happy no faking.. trust me, one day u will do the same to someone else..

wittymilf · Answer

Ok Interesting, so you love this person for there character. Make them aware that you don’t care about the rest until they become confident enough to share the rest , then see if you actually care about the rest 😂😂. It’s like getting to know a person without the social restraint of judgement on visual appearances.

Pistolpete90 · Answer

Delete, block and move on. Whatever you think this person looks like is definitely not reality. Most likely someone much, much older than you that's in a relationship already.

You should watch that Catfish documentary if you haven't seen it. I think it will help you come to terms with what's going on and help you move on.

Cherokeehp · Answer

It is stupid and ridiculous. Stop being weak and break up with the dude. His personality may seem great, but the basis of your entire relationship is a lie. Everything that you think you know about him could be a lie.

1truekhaleesi · Answer

I hate to break it to you but you're not in love with him. You're in love with the idea of him. Break it off ASAP

CaviarLilly · Answer

Tell him that you know he's fake but you love him anyway and you don't care about him catfishing you

Then when he finally reveals the truth, if it's something you can't accept then dump him. (Don't tell him this last part is your plan though)

Alearu · Answer

Seriously just be done with it. It's a failed relationship that's been built on a LIE. Nothing real about him, probably built his persona to your needs to abuse you. Toxic and poisonous relationship like this won't do you no good.

Jesse0 · Answer

If he's the best character like you said, he wouldn't be catfishing you. You have the right to know who you're talking to.

Sherley_holmes · Answer

How can we help, if he is too stupid to not able to speak out the truth to you..
I can just say, that you should stop getting addicted to something like long distance relationships, specifically when you haven't even seen the person, technically. How could you even believe someone online, when people betray even when they are in front of you.. you never know what is the truth.. specially in this so-called long distance relationship..

Somegirl6996 · Answer

Girl, if he's lying too you think about how many other people he is lying too. He could be a 60 year old man. I'd tell him to either tell you the truth or you will ghost him.

Agem123 · Answer

He's not your boyfriend. It's all in your mind, you're 'in love' with the idea of him. Never speak to him again. He could be a sociopath, or an old man. You never know.

I'm in a long distance relationship and I'm being catfished... I do love him so much that I can't leave, what can I do?

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