Girls, is it really a deal breaker if a guy doesn't have his own place and can't drive?

[Anonymous]

So I was criticized and bashed by a former friend who decided to talk trash to one of my current friends. This former friend named andrew decided to share his rude opinions to my friend. He told my friend that he has a better chance at getting a girlfriend than me cause he has his own place and has a car and can drive. He then said " no girl wants to be with a guy who still lives with his parents at age 29 and can't drive and takes the bus to places all the time ". He also then said that I'm going to remain a virgin forever and would never know what's it like to be in love or to love someone. Hearing that makes me feel like trash. I haven't been feeling well ever since I heard that last night. The reason why I'm still living at home is cause I'm autistic and I work a low paying minimum wage job and so I can't afford a place. I failed college cause of my autism affecting my academic performance. And I can't drive is because I failed the permit tests about 100 times already. I can't remember what I studied. It's not like I'm lazy or anything but andrew apparently thinks that I am and trash talks about me to everyone. I made a mistake trusting him and telling him about my life struggles. I haven't dated a girl in about 7 years and reason is cause I kept on getting rejected. I'm depending on family setting me up with someone now. Ladies, Is it really that big of a deal breaker if a guy can't drive and does not have his own place? Would you be willing to give me a chance if you knew me?

[Insomnia72]

It depends on the woman. Every woman has her standards. You can have your own place, a good career rolling and can drive like a race car driver... if you're not packing 50k a year or more, you're an exit. She doesn't want you if she knows she can get more. She's had enough of good looking guys, now she's reaching for the money. So don't take it personally. That's just people reaching for gold after they tasted silver. We all want more. Human nature.

[Liam_Hayden]

It depends on where you live. If you live in SoCal or the Bay Area or NYC, then not under 30 and not being able to afford your own place is normal. In the Bay Area and NYC not having a license is not uncommon because of the cost of parking and the availability of mass transit.

[Hurlyburly]

Me and my boyfriend became a couple when I was 24 and he was 27, we were both still living with our parents. By now we live together and neither of us has a license xD it's also not really necessary in our town in my opinion.

[Asker]

I really hope I can find a girl one day that will like me for who I am and not judge me for being autistic. It feels really lonely. I'm dying to have a significant other.

[Shellyworld]

No, itis not true. Chin up, my friend. I once dated a guy who doesn't drive and doesn't own a house either. So do not worry.

[wankiam]

if you wasn't autistic i could see why he said that but given that you are i might suggest you try a dating site for autistic people where you may find someone who understands your issues

[Avicenna]

Big shortage of women who are autistic, though

[wankiam]

@Avicenna i wouldny know but i never thought it was a mainly male affliction

[wankiam]

@Avicenna quick google does indeed suggest the diagnosed ratio to be around 3 to 1 so you may well be right though ofcourse it is still possible at that rate to meet someone

[Asker]

ok gotcha. you want to know something else about andrew too? Andrew is autistic himself but he doesn't understand at all and he is just too self centered and thinks he's all right about stuff. Not to mention he bullies me and other people in this photography community that we're part of.

[wankiam]

isn't that one of the very things autistic people often have trouble with? you shouldn't be cross with him or take his comments too seriously

[Avicenna]

For most girls, it would be, also because of the underlying problems causing it.

[Asker]

I just really wished they would just give me a chance. I'm a really good person and I know how to care for a girl/woman and how to always put her first before anyone. My ex left me about 7 years ago when i was like 21ish cause she found someone better than me. That still hurts me till today and I haven't been able to find anyone after her. She was the only one who even gave me a chance.

[Anonymous]

it's another reminder that the stigma of living with your parents is no doubt way worse in guys than it is in girls, that is a fact that you can't deny.

[Asker]

It sucks cause I'm not like lazy or anything. I'm just struggling getting my life together temporarily.

[Chanel1981]

There is someone for everyone

[Anonymous]

I would say the lack of a car and transportation is a bigger factor, but that's just a guess of mine