Boyfriend's family and my family are completely different?

[confusescat100]

my boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 months. he is 24 and I am 22. I hang out with his family about twice a week. I really get a long with them good. they are big Christians and super nice people. My boyfriend and I just started saying " I love you" and I do. He has met my mom 3 times and he really gets along with her. He has met my step dad ( who has been in my life since I was 5) once. He really didn't form an opinion on him. they really didn't hit it off I guess you could say. I came from a poor background, and my real father is not in my life for many reasons. My family is in a constant struggle to stay on their feet. I am a senior in college, and I think I have a lot going for me. My parents house is also a mess... and I am kinda embarrassed by it. Once I left for college, things went downhill for them. I try to get there every minute I can to help them out. My boyfriend and his family are well known in his town as very good hard working people. They are the kind of family I want someday. I am just scared that my boyfriend is going to look at my chaotic family and judge me by it. He told me he has never felt this way with any other girl, but the family thing is like a ticking time bomb ready to explode. I try to talk to him about it, but it never comes out right. I got out of a 6 year relationship with my previous boyfriend, and I never had to worry about it, because he grew up with me around it. my boyfriend I have now has an ex of two years who had the perfect family. just like his. I guess the question I have is should you really base a relationship off their family?

[aliceinwonderland7]

I am thinking along the same lines right now. My boyfriend's family is really rich and mine is really poor. You would think in this day and age in America it wouldn't matter, but it still does. I feel sometimes like he could be with anyone, why is he with me. I kind of wish that I could relate more with him on how I have struggled my whole life and he can't understand that. Other times I expect him to "take care" of me, like I feel hurt if he doesn't offer to pay for like my ticket to something. It's hard too because my parents are very Christian and his family isn't. So my mom is always warning me that money isn't everything, and she doesn't like his parents because they are "immoral." I wish I had a good answer for you and not just sympathy.

[oneforthetruth]

Ha I'm the other way round, my parents and family love my partner, but I find it difficult to dwell with his family, I get on alright with one of his sisters and her husband, and the extended familt is no problem, but the mum and dad, a different story. I know why it is, they haven't ever met my family, and so don't really understand me, and I think if they did meet my family, they'd have a better idea about me.

[TyroneJayJackson]

No, He'd be wrong to do that, And if he's met your parents and 'mainly' hit it off with them, surely he'd be fine because of the way you turned out which I would imagine is perfect to him, Otherwise he wouldn't have started telling you he loves you.